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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not want to be called the version of ‘mum’ DH and family have in mind

327 replies

tappbar · 30/08/2020 16:25

All the other kids in the family have a slight regional variant for mum or mummy but I don’t like it ... aibu to just want to be mum or mummy?

OP posts:
Madmumof7 · 31/08/2020 17:22

My children are older now and although originally I hoped for mummy it was usually mum. Now it’s often mother or, my fave, mothering overlord.

SmoggieC · 31/08/2020 17:26

I'm in Yorkshire but from Teesside. I wanted to be and am called Mam by my little boy. No one has sneered at him so far for this.

SmoggieC · 31/08/2020 17:26

He goes to private school, still no sneers, depiste what people may think. Mam all thr way.

Saxineno · 31/08/2020 17:26

My sister lives in a mam area, and we grew up with a mum. She hates being called mam and corrects her kids but her exdh will not budge on referring to her as “your Mam” to the kids.

Thisismytimetoshine · 31/08/2020 17:29

@SmoggieC

He goes to private school, still no sneers, depiste what people may think. Mam all thr way.
What's the significance of private school?
roxanne119 · 31/08/2020 17:30

Papito yes I’m using this 😂😂

Callingallskeletons · 31/08/2020 17:32

Is it a mam?
We live in a mam area but I was very clear when DC was born I did not want to be Mam

When DC were very little I was Mama (mostly because people still used to say Mam to her) but now it’s Mum/Mummy

YANBU to want to be called whatever you like (and tell DH to sod off)

FelicisNox · 31/08/2020 17:35

It's up to you surely, I get called allsorts: mum, mummy, madre.

But I wouldn't be happy with mam or mom: we're not northern nor are we American so 🤷

Alwaystired90 · 31/08/2020 17:46

I’m Mummy. One day to be Mum I’m assuming. My Son wouldn’t call me anything else, other than these.

tee22 · 31/08/2020 17:47

I'm a UK Mum living in America. I will not change to being called Mom, not even when my DC have to write essays where I am mentioned.

user1472151176 · 31/08/2020 17:51

I let my kids decide what to call me. Mostly its mummy but at the moment it's mumma. In our area most mums are mams

queenbee72 · 31/08/2020 17:52

I like mummy. My daughter went through a stage at 5/6 of calling me Mumma. I hated it. She was asked nicely to stop. In the end I spent a day calling her Rebecca and she finally saw my side of it and switched back. She wasn’t upset (I’d have stopped) but she spent ages trying to work out what I was doing 😂

Thisismytimetoshine · 31/08/2020 17:52

@tee22

I'm a UK Mum living in America. I will not change to being called Mom, not even when my DC have to write essays where I am mentioned.
How will you police that? 😂
riceuten · 31/08/2020 17:56

When she was alive, I called my mum "mutti", because that's what I grew up calling her ! Even though she herself wasn't German...where I grew up locally it was "Mum" with a very flat u. Mam or Mom would have earned you some strangely looks.

threecatsandcounting · 31/08/2020 17:58

You choose whatever you want your children to call you. I personally hate "mummy" and we called my mum "mammy" when we were younger, still say it now sometimes and I always write it in cards etc but as we got older it transitioned to "mum" rather than "mam".
When my dc is born I will be "mammy" or "mama"

SmoggieC · 31/08/2020 17:59

People insinuating will be sneered at and people on mums net being sneerers of private school. Hence me adding that extra, detail

Bearseatbeets · 31/08/2020 17:59

My best friend lives in the states but is British. She has insisted on being ‘Mum’ despite everyone else being Mom. It’s so important to be happy with it. If you’ve always imagined being a Mum, being something else isn’t ok

pollymere · 31/08/2020 18:00

I had to rewrite Mammy as Mummy at infant school! Hopefully teachers are a little more aware these days. You decide what your kids call you. Mine has taken to calling me Mutter which feels odd as my Mum called my Gran Muttie!

Attitude84 · 31/08/2020 18:03

My eldest used to call me mummy and my youngest mum mum. How I miss those days. Just be happy your kids are still young enough to call you the sweet mums. I’m just mum now to a pre teen and teenager Sad

Celestine70 · 31/08/2020 18:03

I'm mummy to my son and mama to my daughter. It's just what they ended up calling me. You should be able to choose but they will likely pick their own name for you.

swones · 31/08/2020 18:04

I'm from a Yorkshire mining town and everything there is 'mam'. I call my mum 'mum' and I'm mummy to my children, although my 6 year old has started to say mum sometimes. I dislike mam/mammy and it makes me cringe when I hear people refer to me as my children's 'mam'.

Thisismytimetoshine · 31/08/2020 18:06

@SmoggieC

People insinuating will be sneered at and people on mums net being sneerers of private school. Hence me adding that extra, detail
This makes zero sense.
SleepingStandingUp · 31/08/2020 18:08

@FelicisNox

It's up to you surely, I get called allsorts: mum, mummy, madre.

But I wouldn't be happy with mam or mom: we're not northern nor are we American so 🤷

You don't need to be Northern or American to use Mom Hmm
CeeceeBloomingdale · 31/08/2020 18:10

[quote DancingCatGif]@CeeceeBloomingdale

Did you honestly tell people not to refer to you as the child's mam?

That's control freakery right there[/quote]
Yes, of course I asked my family to use the name I had chosen, not another random one, why do you think that is controlling? They had grandparent names they preferred so I would use for example Grandma rather than Nanny as per their preference. I wouldn't have pulled up a random in Asda about it but certainly family. How weird you should think I should passively be called by a name other than the one I wanted to be known by!

DonaPatrizia · 31/08/2020 18:11

Personal choice of course but I hope it’s not anti-Northern or anti-Irish snobbery behind the objections to Mam or Mammy.

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