To ask you to share which “tracking” app you use with your teens

[toetheline20]

If ppl can let me know which they prefer that would be great thanks. Son starting Y7 next week and he’s as ditsy as they come!

‘Imagine thirty years ago having a conversation about tracking your child - it would be seen as total nonsense but now it seems to be totally normal’

I wonder about the correlation between this generation of anxious teens with multiple mental health issues, and the evolution of parenting into an operation of tracking and controlling.

On the first day of High School, I travelled with DD on the bus(es). She made it home by herself including changing buses.. On the second day, I walked her to the first bus-stop, and waited til she got on the bus. She made it home by herself. After that ....she comes and goes without me :-) and I don't feel the need to track her at all.

@Dominicgoings

‘Imagine thirty years ago having a conversation about tracking your child - it would be seen as total nonsense but now it seems to be totally normal’

I wonder about the correlation between this generation of anxious teens with multiple mental health issues, and the evolution of parenting into an operation of tracking and controlling.

Yup.

Why wouldn’t you know where they are?

Without a tracker I mean

I wonder about the correlation between this generation of anxious teens with multiple mental health issues, and the evolution of parenting into an operation of tracking and controlling.

Yep, I know what you mea.

I wonder about the correlation between this generation of anxious teens with multiple mental health issues, and the evolution of parenting into an operation of tracking and controlling

Well based on the responses to this thread, almost nobody is using these apps to constantly track or control teenagers. So probably no link.

@Wheresthebiffer2

On the first day of High School, I travelled with DD on the bus(es). She made it home by herself including changing buses.. On the second day, I walked her to the first bus-stop, and waited til she got on the bus. She made it home by herself. After that ....she comes and goes without me :-) and I don't feel the need to track her at all.

We did similar, only the weekend before or something as I'd be getting someone else to school or going work.

Didn't schools have a no phone policy or one that said to switch them off?

Someone mentioned it's because of iphones and other expensive phones. Maybe that's another reason why I don't use them, never thought about it. Because we do live in knife crime centre they never asked for them, same with many of their peers. When I've upgraded my. iPhone and given them the old one, they use it around the house.

Yabu. If he has a phone he can ring or message you with any problems let them grow up a bit.

We use Google family share.

Nothing to do with trust, dd (12) often has to wait up to an hour for the bus home and then it's an hours bus ride, she has hobbies at night, the schedule is tight, if she's not home when we need to leave I can check how far away she is. I don't track her going to school, out with friends, whatever but its handy when I'm waiting for her.

As a family we all shared Find My Friend on the iPhone. I rarely use it, but occasionally it’s handy if they’re running late. My kids use it more with me. I work full time and have to rush home to drive them to their hobby. My DD will use it to check I’m on my way and send me a reminder if I’m not. Sometimes, my DS will catch out my DP having a sneaky McDonalds or something but it’s all done in good faith and good humour. If they want me to remove their names we can have that discussion, but it’s useful for finding phones down the back of sofas, etc.

Well based on the responses to this thread, almost nobody is using these apps to constantly track or control teenagers

The point about the judging gaze means it doesn't actually matter if the person is judging, the stress comes from being perceived to being judged, so the harm can be independent from any intention of the parents actually surveilling the child.

canigooutyet dear God, what was the explanation? if I dare ask?

the name of a -tracking app- called ' trust and independence' has to near the top of irony.

Seems to me that a lot of these trackings apps arent about actual safety but about keeping Mum happy at the expense of the kids (with a few valid exceptions).

@Angelina82

It's not in the least bit sinister...don't be so ridiculous. Do people really let their 12 year olds leave the house and have no idea where they're going?

No there’s this thing called communication and trust ie child tells you where they’re going and what time they will be home. You trust them to do what they have said. It’s not difficult.

^^ this. If my 12 years old DD tells me she is going into town and asks for a lift home in two hours, we agree a meeting place and that's it. Exactly how I was treated at her age

@McT123

Just use the same one that your parents used on you.

😂

When I was 12 I told my parents where I was going and that was that - sure other kids may have parents wanting track them but I did not think it was unheard to survive in the past without technology

OurPact. Paid version.

Never used one. Ds1 begs to use my phone, to use 'find my iPhone', when he's lost his phone. Other than that, I don't like this parental obsession with tracking. I know where my kids are. I use the old fashioned app of 'talking to them'

All our phones have find my friend, which we call the stalker app, so we use that. My son is 14 and he uses it to his advantage - 'mum you're near KFC, can you get me some food?' Or 'can you pick me up?' with no need to send an address. I did check it lots when he first got a phone, when he was 10, but now I rarely check (especially at the moment as he's been sat on his sofa playing Xbox for months )

Google Maps. The kids and I can see each other in real-time.

Other free apps worth considering are Life 360 and Find My Friends.