To ask you to share which “tracking” app you use with your teens

[toetheline20]

If ppl can let me know which they prefer that would be great thanks. Son starting Y7 next week and he’s as ditsy as they come!

@Verbald

Surely they'll just turn their phones off if they are going somewhere they know they shouldn't be, and for things such as letting you know when they're home, are we really at a stage where it's better to look at a dot on a screen than get them to send a quick text? How depressing.

Or just put it on airplane mode. Or better still pop in another sim. A lot of phones come automatically with dual sim options now, either easier for them now!

I'm sure I've given a few spare sims to teens over the years.

@WouldBeGood

Just use the same one you let them track you with?

That's exactly what we did.

After the fourth time my y7 child rang me while I was driving to ask whether I'd remembered I was supposed to be meeting him (bringing his tuba to band practice) I asked my more tech-aware husband if there was an app to tell people where you were - in my defence this was nearly 6 years ago.

So we all signed up to the app, with their full knowledge and consent and ability to put it on pause if they felt like it (and sometimes if they didn't, given the Faraday cage the buses create). S1 turned it off permanently the day he went off to university, S2 still has it if it isn't playing up.

Sometimes I use it to see if he's nearly home - it's easier than requiring him to get his phone out while walking along, particularly if it's raining.

Life 360
For convenience, planning and logistics....

It's not a civil liberties issue or human rights abuse ffs!

Just helpful once in a while for pick ups, knowing when to pop the dinner on and if you need to take keys with you or not.

@formerbabe

So why not talk to your child instead? Build up a relationship of mutual trust? That approach is more likely to pay dividends in the long run as opposed to micro-managing and invading your child/teenager/you g adults privacy

Huge difference between a child and a young adult. They cannot be treated the same when it comes to independence and privacy.

I beg to differ. Trust is paramount to the parental/child relationship. It should start at a young age and as parents we should be building trust at every stage of development.

That way as your child matures and reaches adulthood (YA's can be as young as 12 depending on the definition you use) you know they are being honest about where they are/who they are with. Children need to be kept safe, not cyber stalked by an over anxious or over invested parent. They need to be shown how to manage risk and given the tools to keep them self safe.

We are obviously never going to agree and that's fine. But out of interest when will you decide they are mature enough for you not to track them?

A wider question.....do all the parents who track/stalk their children turn into the overbearing parents-in-law so derided on here?!

I've never tracked ds. But he doesn't go anywhere!

Starts college September and is walking or getting list with me if it works with my work hours.

I'm interested in this google map sharing. It maybe a good way for him to let me know he's arrived? How does it work?

And before anyone digs I don't ask him to and have never tracked him. He is autistic and even during lockdown when I was working and dad was coming to go for a walk with him he'd text me to say he was leaving and home etc!

A 12 year old is not a young adult by any definition.

Imagine thirty years ago having a conversation about tracking your child - it would be seen as total nonsense but now it seems to be totally normal imagine 30years ago if we were told we could freeze live tv, order food from any mainstream restaurant via an app....shock horror technological developments

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

Imagine thirty years ago having a conversation about tracking your child - it would be seen as total nonsense but now it seems to be totally normal imagine 30years ago if we were told we could freeze live tv, order food from any mainstream restaurant via an app....shock horror technological developments

I wasn't really referring to the technology. More the thought process behind it.

Surely they'll just turn their phones off if they are going somewhere they know they shouldn't be

I think very few (if any?) people on here have said they use it to find out if their child is sneaking off somewhere.

and for things such as letting you know when they're home, are we really at a stage where it's better to look at a dot on a screen than get them to send a quick text? How depressing

Why is that depressing? Twenty years ago people probably said "are we really at a stage where it's better to send some words on a screen than make a quick phone call and talk? How depressing".

I don't see anything depressing about making everyone's lives easier. I used to have to message my husband every time I left work so he could know to lock the dogs away and open our gates within the next 15 minutes. Now I don't have to. I'm not depressed, I'm thankful about having one less little thing to remember to do.

Life 360. Although they need to have their 3g on for it to work. They learn to turn it off as it uses up their data.

i wasn't really referring to the technology. More the thought process behind it yes but our parents would have used it had it been available, same as using iPads for flying with young children. 30yrs ago things were different, why the shock.

@fsklgf haha good one, so the vast majority just use it to see when they are where they'll say they'll be, ie home at a certain time after school? And as to the second part, rather than easy it's just lazy isn't really.

haha good one, so the vast majority just use it to see when they are where they'll say they'll be, ie home at a certain time after school?

Based on this thread, it does seem that way. I don't really see the point of talking about what other people may or may not do outside the context of this thread.

And as to the second part, rather than easy it's just lazy isn't really

Aren't they the same thing? I do lots of things that make my life easier that you could say are just lazy. I don't see the problem with that. I don't hand wash my clothes, god I'm so lazy. How depressing, etc.

My mum used to follow me and my friends around town on a Saturday as I was the only one not allowed out shopping by myself. Wish we’d had an app then!

If I truly didn't trust my child, I wouldn't let him out by himself. It's not really about trust.

None. I just have a rule that they have to tell me where they're going and then inform me if they move. It's worked well for years. If I text them to see where they are and they don't answer sharpish, I call them. That ensures they answer promptly 😉 Nobody wants their mum calling to check where they are.

It’s not about trusting the child though, well it’s not for me. It’s for tracking a lost phone or if involved in an accident etc. Also when I pick DS2 up from primary when we reach our village he looks up on my phone to see where the other 2 are as if bus is near the village I will wait and pick them up form the stop rather than them walking home, especially if raining.

How would the app let you know If there is an accident?

yes but our parents would have used it had it been available, same as using iPads for flying with young children. 30yrs ago things were different, why the shock.

I doubt it. People used to let their six and seven year olds go off all day in the sixties and seventies - no mobile phone, and they wouldn't expect them back until tea. If they were worried about safety, the kids would play on the street or in the back garden. Attitudes to child and teen safety have changed massively since then.

I remember going off into town with friends aged 9 - neither of us had mobiles, we had to cross a couple of main roads and we weren't trailed in the car or anything similar. We had watches and were trusted to be back by whatever time our parents agreed on. None of us were ever late or got distracted by the chip shop. And this was in the late nineties, so not all that long ago.

I'm not "shocked" either - I just find it very odd how blaze some people are about tracking their children's every move.

@formerbabe

I'm pretty sure our parents would have used this technology when we were growing up if it had been available. My mum used to drive behind me when I was walking somewhere!

That is neither 'normal' or healthy. Most parents would not/do not consider it necessary.

How would the app let you know If there is an accident

It doesn't but if your dc was on the move and suddenly stopped and remained stationery, you would perhaps be able to figure out why, based on the location. My ds phone often stops on one particular part of a road near me...it's where the chicken shop is...

I knew plenty of parents who did this @dworky. Not with older teens but when we were 11 in the last year of primary and wanted to go to the local shopping centre by ourselves, someone's mum would often be lurking. My mum only did it when I was 11 and started walking home alone.

When my ds first started walking to places alone, we started by me dropping him in the car at one end of a road, driving to the other end and he'd walk up to meet me.

Independence is given in stages. You're very naive if you go from nothing to full on independence.

@canigooutyet

How would the app let you know If there is an accident?

It does. My friends DH rang to say he was leaving work. When he wasn't home 30 minutes after due time she used tracker in case he'd gone somewhere or to see where he was and check traffic. She was cooking dinner and it was almost done.

He remained in one place on a min road. She was rightly concerned. He'd been killed in an accident

Obviously it didn't say he'd been in an accident. But it gave enough information for her to know something wasn't right and there was a reason he wasn't home.

Why? Unless there's sn, you need to teach the life skills then trust them. Mine are adults now