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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask you to share which “tracking” app you use with your teens

220 replies

toetheline20 · 26/08/2020 11:32

If ppl can let me know which they prefer that would be great thanks. Son starting Y7 next week and he’s as ditsy as they come!

OP posts:
GADDay · 26/08/2020 12:29

@formerbabe

I don't get the outrage over this. As a parent if I want to know where my 12 year old is, then that is perfectly sensible and acceptable
I actually agree with this. My DC didnt have phones at this age but other than a school bus, they rarely went out unsupervised.
Gingerfish91 · 26/08/2020 12:29

I just click on snap chat to see where my kids are. I don’t spy on them or track them, just see how far away they are when they’ve texted to say they’re on their way.

Polkasquare · 26/08/2020 12:41

Don't do it.

And what you are asking about is actually a tracking app. Not a "tracking" app.

idril · 26/08/2020 12:50

We all use find my friends on iphone.

"Tracking" is a bit of a misnomer. We simply use find my friends on iphone when we need to see where they are. This happens infrequently but it is useful (they use it to see where I am too at times).

rhowton · 26/08/2020 12:52

My dad 100% would have tracked me and if I had said no, he would have told me to "buy my own phone and pay for my own contract" I'm 100% certain I would have preferred to be stalked occasionally than have to fork out £800 for a phone and £30 contract a month 😂

Feellikedancingyeah · 26/08/2020 12:56

Life 360 is excellent

mrsm43s · 26/08/2020 12:57

We use life 360.

Can't see what the problem with tracking is? We don't sit staring at their every move, it just negates the need for them to text us when they arrive/are running a few minutes late etc. DH and I are also on it, and the teens check to see how far away we are when we're on our way to get pick them up, or to cadge a lift home when they notice we're in the area running errands.

We all know we all have the app, we all use it responsibly, it stops any worry and it helps when someone has left their phone somewhere! It's all good.

Givemlala · 26/08/2020 12:59

Just use the same one that your parents used on you.

Haha, love this. I am so glad smart phones weren't a thing back then, if I was tracked in my teens I would feel so smothered.

MrsAvocet · 26/08/2020 13:02

I use Life360 but to be honest its not much use as we don't have very good phone signal here. I use it primarily to track my teenage son's bike rides but its so unreliable that I'm not sure its worth the effort. Irritatingly it doesn't seem to pick up again if its lost signal, even when he goes back into an area with signal. There are some routes where it works well, but as soon as he goes into hilly areas its useless, so if it shows he hasn't moved for an hour I actually have no idea whether he is lying in a ditch 40 miles away or just about to walk back into the house. Its one of those things that seems like a good idea in theory but actually isn't much use.

LionLily · 26/08/2020 13:03

We've always used Find Friends. We live rurally and the school buses were notorious for breaking down, deviating from routes etc. As I needed to drive some miles to the rondezvous point, it was always useful to be able to estimate when the bus might arrive.
Conversely, if I wasn't at the rondezvous the dc always found it reassuring to be able to see where I was - no point ringing or texting as I was driving and wouldn't respond.
When the dc began to go to gigs/parties etc, we used to tell them to move away from the crowds at the exit to a safe point and we would find them.
Now they drive to and from college/jobs/friends/pubs, often at night on marsh roads (I mention marsh because it means big ditches alongside roads) so it has always been useful to be able to see where they are when travelling if they are late or something.
What3Words is a useful app, so long as the person is able to access the app.
The use of Find Friends has never been an issue with my dc, both are adults now and still haven't disabled it on their phones. It's not like I'd know what they're doing only where they are.

Littleposh · 26/08/2020 13:04

We use 360 but I only check it if she's late or there's another worry. She tracks me more than the other way around!! I trust her 100% but I don't trust other people, it's there for safety

Scbchl · 26/08/2020 13:06

I dont use one and feel there is no need and it can and does become obsessive. My in law tracks her two children. They are now mid 20s and she still tracks them on holidays and nights out with friends and the eldest boy had to ask her to stop as they didnt want her to know when his wife went into labour as they wanted it a surprise. So instead, she started messaging non stop asking if their baby boy was coming because she hadnt had any replies to her texts or calls. Now the baby is here she is tracking again and she also now tracks his wife because she wants to know shes okay if out with the baby and incase anything happens. Its MADNESS.

formerbabe · 26/08/2020 13:10

Massive difference between tracking an 11 year old and tracking an adult child in their twenties.

As for trust and independence...you don't go from 0-100. My ds is 12, he has some independence but he's not entirely independent obviously.

Siepie · 26/08/2020 13:14

Not really but when I was 11 and walked home for the first time my mum was following me. It's reasonably sensible and I don't feel like my privacy was violated.

There's a different between checking your child can walk home alone the first time and installing an app to know where they are at all times.

tangycalligrapher · 26/08/2020 13:17

I use one at home but not when they are out. If I want to know where they are when they are at home and ignoring me then I switch the router off. Other than that, I don't.

Angelina82 · 26/08/2020 13:17

I'm pretty sure our parents would have used this technology when we were growing up if it had been available. My mum used to drive behind me when I was walking somewhere!

That’s not normal though. No wonder anxiety is so rife amongst youngsters when they’re conditioned to be afraid to do absolutely anything alone.

formerbabe · 26/08/2020 13:20

That’s not normal though

It's ott if you're 18...it's not if you're 11 and walking home for the first time ever

formerbabe · 26/08/2020 13:21

There's a different between checking your child can walk home alone the first time and installing an app to know where they are at all times

Yes, at age 12, I insist on knowing where my child is at all times. I think that's reasonable

WorraLiberty · 26/08/2020 13:25

@LEELULUMPKIN

I use a great one called "trust & independence"
That's the one I used, as did my parents.

At what age do parents trust their children to tell them the truth?

latticechaos · 26/08/2020 13:26

@formerbabe

There's a different between checking your child can walk home alone the first time and installing an app to know where they are at all times

Yes, at age 12, I insist on knowing where my child is at all times. I think that's reasonable

I'm not sure about this actually. It sounds reasonable, but is actually a bit sinister.
TheStarOnTheChristmasTree · 26/08/2020 13:26

We use Life360 too, DC age 23, 20, 13. We all use it to check on each other when needed. I check that DC2 has arrived home ok after a night out rather than get up and check, the DC have used it to have dinner ready when I arrived home from work, DD3 likes to check when I'm on my way home if she's home alone in the evening. It's optional for the adult DC of course so they choose to be part of it. There's nothing sinister or smothering about it.

formerbabe · 26/08/2020 13:27

I don't use it because I think my ds is lying to me. I use it because any number of things can occur that he might forget to tell me or because he might need picking up or he might lose his phone

formerbabe · 26/08/2020 13:29

I'm not sure about this actually. It sounds reasonable, but is actually a bit sinister

It's not in the least bit sinister...don't be so ridiculous. Do people really let their 12 year olds leave the house and have no idea where they're going?

canigooutyet · 26/08/2020 13:33

Nothing.

And yes I know what it is like when your child goes missing. Having the ability to track was useless, the phone got switched off. Track my iPhone pointless other than putting a message on the screen for if it would get turned on again. All we knew at that point was the location it was last in which was were the dc should have been. Until it was switched back on, even police couldn't track it.

Child was found alive several days later.

linmanuel · 26/08/2020 13:35

We use Find Friends to check whether bus is okay and that's he's on the way home safely.