To think you're not allowed to be proud of breastfeeding any more....

[TheatreJunkie84]

NOT a breast is best thread.

I've had the journey from hell. Tongue tie, painful feeds, thrush, not gaining weight, shitty latch, literally everything except low supply....but here I am 3 months in still going, on a combination of formula, pumped milk and boob.

I posted on a local baby group today a picture of me feeding, with a caption about how proud I was to still be going at nearly 3 months despite all the crap...thanking my local group and its peer supporters for their role in keeping me going and encouraging others to seek their help as they were so lovely and wonderful.

It started off well...messages of congrats and other stories of the peer supporters helping out new mums. Suddenly out of nowhere I got called arrogant and told I should have some respect for all the mums that choose to formula feed and I shouldn't throw be throwing it down everyones necks. Before I knew it loads of other mums all joined in, basically saying breastfeeding is nothing to be proud of and I should shut up. Things along the lines of 'big whoop you can feed your baby I cant so this makes you better than me? Piss off.'

I quickly deleted it, feeling really ashamed of myself. I'm on the verge tears now every time I think about it. Am I being unreasonable here? I honestly wanted to give up so many times....but the local group kept me going and if posting about my success can encourage other mums to seek their help then that's surely only a good thing?

I don't know.

It’s all so unnecessary and childish what you’re doing Getoff

But venus social media showoffs/oversharers do tend to be cut from the same cloth and overdo the hashtag thing don't they? whereas I've made no mention of erm, apple pies or wheelie bins

@VeniceQueen2004

WTF is an apple pie bed?

Think Op has achieved just what she'd hoped with this thread

What do you think she hoped to achieve? So now the OP is responsible once again for other people’s unreasonable childish behaviour.

[quote Iamnotminterested]@VeniceQueen2004

WTF is an apple pie bed?[/quote]
I wondered this for years. It always came up in the Chalet School books and similar but that was pre-internet and apparently my parents had not experienced such a thing so were none the wiser.

But google will answer for you these days.

@MillyMollyFarmer

It’s all so unnecessary and childish what you’re doing Getoff

So is the op pretending she's 'trying to help'. She should think of some mothers struggling with their sense of failure. If she needs to help/stick an oar in then direct them to HV or support groups. Don't make 'aren't I great' sm posts.

@GetOffYourHighHorse

"I wish you would put your original photo back up on your Facebook page..... We don't see nearly enough images of breastfeeding babies, sadly'

Why do people so desperately need this validation on social media?

Not just social media, but everywhere would be nice. And less about validation and more about making the biological normal way of feeding our babies seem normal again, through images and everyday exposure.

@Iamnotminterested

It's where you fold up the sheets so when the person gets in their knees end up by their chin. Much beloved jape of Enid Blyton schoolgirls :P

@GetOffYourHighHorse

but you have no grounds whatsoever for tagging the OP a 'social media oversharer'. Pretty much everyone under the age of 60 uses some form of social media, including being on groups of shared interests and posting about the subject. What you deem 'oversharing' is not the very last word; and even if the OP had 'overshared' in this particular case (debatable in the extreme as 900+posts of various opposing views on this thread indicates) - there's no reason to assume this is some sort of habit.

You're being needlessly bitchy and you know you are.

@DappledThings

Have now googled and feel my life is richer for it

As you were.

'You're being needlessly bitchy and you know you are.'

Yoube already been deleted for calling someone else 'bitchy'.

Also, It's very misogynistic y'know. Maybe try sarcastic or intolerant?

Getoff no you’ve decided she isn’t trying to be helpful simply because you don’t find it helpful. You cannot know her intentions. She signposted to the group that helped her. I think that is supportive. You’re being intentionally mean for no reason other than you’re judging her for what you believe, not what she did. Perhaps you’re judging her based on your own standards of behaviour. Some of us like to help.

[quote Iamnotminterested]@DappledThings

Have now googled and feel my life is richer for it

As you were.[/quote]
Once I had finally managed to get an explanation for it after wondering for many years it really didn't seem worth it! Both the discovery of what it meant and the actual act. But they did love a prank in those Chalet School books.

Maybe we could turn the imminent end of what has become a needlessly aggressive thread into a brief appreciation of the Chalet School and all who sailed in her.

Very well, i withdraw bitchy. Mean as all hell then.

ALways preferred St Claire's myself... although a re-read with adult and modern sensibilities is a bit hair-raising.

I felt very low about my body and why it just wouldn't work. Your post would have probably upset me for thinking i didn't try long enough.

Easy for me to say as one who EBF and continued for 18 months, but I'm sorry to see any mum feeling this way and in some senses relate. My body doesn't work as it should either. The issue relating to natural childbirth -v- CS surprises me and passed me by at the time. I had an induced labour ending in an EMCS, but having lost a succession of babies before having DC. When he arrived safely I was just profoundly grateful for a safe delivery and wasn't worried in the slightest how he got here. Had I overheard any mum talking about a drug-free water birth through the natural method it wouldn't have occurred to me to feel terrible about this. The section likely saved DC's life, and possibly mine too, and I'm glad about it rather than sorry.

I had serious trouble retaining a pregnancy before DC and lost many babies. I can't put into words how awful and guilty I felt about this: a mother's fundamental duty is to keep her children safe and I felt as though my body was killing my babies. To that end, EMCS -v- natural, breast -v- bottle all seems pretty trivial to me. I'm far more judgemental of parents (of EITHER sex) whose children have rotten back molars. And this can happen however they are fed in infancy (and providing a healthy diet to a picky kid is a challenge, as is keeping sugar to a minimum without banning it and causing problems later on. It's a constant battle in our house, and it's really wearisome).

There'll be a new challenge every day to replace this one. BF V FF is unimportant in the end. It really is. In 5 years' time no one will know or care how you fed your DC as a baby. You've done your best and love them, which is all anybody can ever ask of themselves. What other people think doesn't even slightly matter.

Ah, never read those ones sadly.

I wonder if Joey and Madge breastfed all those twins and triplets. Probably had them on fresh alpine goat milk pdq.

'You’re being intentionally mean for no reason other than you’re judging her for what you believe, not what she did. Perhaps you’re judging her based on your own standards of behaviour. Some of us like to help.'

Yes I admit I'm judging her because of what I've witnessed others experience. New mums in tears, a friend with pnd feeling more desperate. I do get it that bf has benefits I managed fine with 2 out of 3 I just never ever said I was proud to those who chose not to.

I thought an apple pie bed was when you folded a duvet in half and lay on one side with the other side covering you?

This thread is batshit.

You would all hate me, I have been known to post pro-breastfeeding stuff on social media during
National/International breastfeeding week. It is something I am proud of, although I don't drone on about it endlessly. It's been a bit part of my life for over four years now though, day and night. It's inescapable!
Also considering training to be a BF peer supporter when my children are a bit older. I figure I could put my own difficult experience to some good use.

I find some of the attitudes on here bizarre. To be honest, I struggled so hard with breastfeeding and when I see people saying it "doesn't matter", "just switch to formula" etc. I find that quite difficult on a personal level. Like why the fuck did I put myself through that then? But I totally understand that's my own issue and I don't seek to sensor those who feel that way. I may not agree but I accept their right to say it. My feelings are my own and not the responsibility of other people.

FWIW I persevered because I wanted to, because it was deeply important to me, and because it just felt right to feed my baby in the biologically normal way for my species. Whether or not the benefits are significant, or proven, made no difference to me, it just made infinitely more sense that human molk was the right thing for my babies (I don't give a fig what other babies are fed). Although I am in no way anti-formula as used it to supplement in the early days with DC1, and I am so grateful to have had that option available. Formula top ups actually helped me to keep going in the long run.

I just don't get why people can't be nice, supportive, etc. These attitudes seem to permeate many aspects of parenting and it's one reason I am gradually reducing the time spent on social media and leaving a lot of parenting specific groups. The negativity is stifling.

I've been thinking about this and although I try to keep objective and not project, I think that I'm behind the OP because I remember reading a couple of similar things and it really encouraged me when I was struggling and I'm really grateful for it

I don't think a message just saying "here's a link to a local support group" would have had the same effect at all

are my feelings or experience less important than those offended by somebody posting that they breastfed their baby?

Ah human molk... MILK. Molk sounds like some kind of vegan substitute.

@YenneferOfBattenberg

Ah human molk... MILK. Molk sounds like some kind of vegan substitute.

Both my DC have said "molk" for years. It's the only thing they both mispronounce and do so in the same way. I find myself saying molk now too occasionally. Embarrassing.