To expect graduate to get a job whilst applying for ‘the perfect’ job?

[Rosehip345]

Please settle a disagreement between myself and my brother.

DN back from uni having graduated and done well in chosen (and fairly select and over subscribed) field.
Her plan with DB’s approval is to live at home for a year whilst applying for jobs, so far she has had three interviews and not got any.
They both disagree with me that she should get any job or an internship etc in the interim whilst continuing to apply for ‘the perfect job’.

My kids are very young so I don’t have any experience of this yet but I’d imagine I’d be telling them to get some life experience and more relevant experience around the subject whilst still applying, surely that’d make them seem more appealing than just staying at home doing nothing for year?

Fortunately ds volunteer role (social media and online support for a charitable organisation) can be done from home but many are usually face to face. Even many of the lockdown initiatives came to very little (ie. Nhs responder app). Dd used to volunteer in a local library but they have not been in touch since reopening. Around here foodbanks are still taking on people, especially as people are returning to their paid jobs, and local social groups are resuming in a limited way.

I do think she should be doing SOMETHING whilst applying for the perfect job. Either a part time job for some spending money and work experience so that it doesn’t look like she’s waiting for the perfect job to land in her lap or some volunteer work particularly if she can do some in a relevant field to the job she wants or make use of skills she can market herself with for the perfect job. Also sometimes it’s all about making connections and WHO you know to get that perfect job, so finding anything she could do to connect herself with relevant people be it having a social media presence or helping tutor students in that subject (she could even try doing this for a bit of pocket money) anything to stay relevant and keep her brain switched on.

OP she could look at online English teaching to fit round her internship if she’s concerned about finding a part time job to supplement her income from her internship. Or perhaps the company would consider letting her work remotely? It seems like a real shame to let it go in the current climate – these opportunities are fortunate to come by at the best of times, let alone at the moment.

My daughter is about to head off for uni. If she came back when done and thought she’d be lozocking around whilst waiting for the dream job she’d have another think coming. As someone who has sifted and interviewed for jobs, if that’s what was on the CV it’d go straight in the bin.

I think some posters are missing the fact that the AIBU isn’t that the Neice cant find a job; it’s that she’s made literally zero effort to find one that isn’t the ‘perfect’ career role.

@Dyrne

I think some posters are missing the fact that the AIBU isn’t that the Neice cant find a job; it’s that she’s made literally zero effort to find one that isn’t the ‘perfect’ career role.

In the month since she graduated! A month.

Well, you don’t sit around waiting for the perfect job to come about in my house! My daughter was at uni for 4 years but took a year off before going and another one between graduating and her post grad year. Each time she had to get a job. And each time the job was totally unrelated to her field of study. It’s not about the money (she didn’t pay me rent or anything of the sort) it’s about young adults being responsible for themselves. And to be fair, finding a job is easier when you are already employed. What is the ‘perfect’ job never materialised?

@Ellamiss No.. if you re-read the OP it’s about the fact that they have declared their intention to carry on for one year. I agree “allowing” yourself a summer off before going in hard is fair enough, perhaps even until Christmas, but a full year (by which time you’ll be competing with next year’s grads) is bizarre.

Ok, so HR department in a great company is going through 178 cv's, they all have the relevant qualifications. So to streamline they now try to get a glimpse of personality. Out of all applicants, 159 have jobs even if part-time in the likes of Tesco, Greggs, Iceland, etc. All be it while looking for the 'proper' job. Which pile will your DN fall into? I would advise her to do something rather than nothing.

I now feel the need to know what this select and over subscribed field of study is.
And is it a degree that has a realistic chance for that ideal job

Yabu

For what it's worth I agree with you, but it is none of your business, if your db is happy to fund her it's up to him.

@Dyrne she won’t have had the summer off- it will have been a month at most so far. Lots of third year students had multiple delays with finishing this year due to lecturer strikes and then Covid.

I am sure she will be fine, I try not to judge that generation or anyone too much. All the people saying what a ‘dim view’ they will take if her won’t make any difference to her career I doubt.

@Ellamiss you’ve misunderstood me, I know she may not have finished uni until recently.

People arent saying she should have found a job by now; they’re saying to declare an intention to not even bother searching for anything other than the “perfect” job for an entire year is a bit weird.

She hasn't 'done well' until she's got a job, whether in her chosen field or somewhere else to pay her keep! Uni isn't the goal, it's just somewhere that's supposed to help you to your destination.

She may never get her dream job, so it's ridiculous to think she can put earning a living on hold. agree that most employers would pick someone already working over someone not every time

Its not your problem, but absolutely it looks shabby to not work through choice/laziness in searching.
Our daughter has a place on a 'big 4' graduate scheme that was due to start in September, but has been deferred until end of January. There is no way on earth we'd support her to be bone idle. She has accepted another graduate job based locally to tide her over.
I'd look pretty poorly on any young applicant who just said they couldn't find work.

• have finished uni until recently.

People arent saying she should have found a job by now; they’re saying to declare an intention to not even bother searching for anything other than the “perfect” job for an entire year is a bit weird

Some people, not all. I think it’s a goady thread designed to attract all the smug comments which it indeed has.

How exactly it is your business? I wouldn't encourage my academic child with a degree in a respected field to stack supermarket shelves whilst applying for jobs/going to interviews.

Working on the checkout as a graduate got me my first proper job post graduation. The managing director came in every Wednesday on the way home from work, he'd come to my check out, we'd chat about stuff including my job search and after a few weeks of that I was offered an interview (which my interviewer told was purely box ticking) and then a job. They weren't actively recruiting so it was entirely circumstance.

I'd expect my children to do something, whether paid or voluntary.

YANBU. My DD has been working in a local hotel since leaving uni in summer 2019 whilst chasing her "perfect job" which she still hasn't found.
When she was furloughed for three months due to lockdown she got two days a week packing plants for mail order at a local garden centre. (She would have done, and wanted, more hours but terms of furlough wouldn't allow it.)
She has a wonderful work ethic and hates being idle. I'm inordinately proud of her.

I was having this chat with my DS the other day. He has just graduated but due to his SEN ( much better these days, wouldn’t even qualify for EHCP or whatever it is called these days) BUT that is because he did go to an SEN school and had lots of support as to why he’s now in a position that he can for the most part get by however he struggles with unfamiliarity. Whilst he can work in any sector it has to be a job he is used to and in his case it has to be IT related as that’s what he would be comfortable with, working in a shop would probably see him walk out within 48 hours because he will get flustered and his ability to process on the spot isn’t great.

He has done some volunteering at an elderly sheltered accommodation helping the residents basic IT and fixing their laptops etc, he loved that as they treated him like their grandson and would often come home with goodies, and he enjoyed their stories of their youth etc, lol. He gave it up earlier this year as he had to focus on his course and then corona kicked in.

I’ve asked if he could go back but as he rightly pointed out they are high risk so understandably the organisation stopped the service. He has however just ( after 1.5 years) passed his background checks to work for the Met police as a volunteer so he’s hoping something will come up soon as there aren’t many graduate jobs at the moment in his the area of IT he specialised in or that he feels confident going into.

There was one cheeky bugger a few weeks ago that was offering an “internship” that wasn’t paying, yet expecting him to work ( not shadowing) with standard working hours and no guarantee of a job at the end of the 6 months. Acas confirmed that the company should not be doing that so he withdrew his application. If it was any other year I’d be literally throwing my son out to find a job but this year has been a bugger for everyone so I’m leaving him alone for the rest of this year, but by the end of January I’d expect him to be doing something be it volunteering or a paid job.

Eldest graduated with a 1st this year, just started working at a supermarket to get some money while finding the "perfect" job.

Op I agree with you. My son has just graduated and he’s picked up some casual work locally through an agency. Not in a field he wants to work in but with the current job market he’s lucky to have something. She should have taken that internship as it would be work experience and look good on her CV.

It took my DD just over 6 months after she graduated to get a good job she loved. Yes she was at home for 6 months but so what? Nobody else's business but the patents. We could and did support her. She stayed on here until she put a deposit down on her own home too. If my Sis had tried to stick her nosey beak into our business she'd have been told off sharpish by me and/or DDs dad. You sound so waspish OP. She's just left Uni, who are you to land on her back?

As to the rest of you sounding so pompous about whether you'd take her on or not - You sound eager to wield the big stick, disgruntled reasons not to employ younger people. Hence the ridiculous (wishful thinking) notion that 6 months non-employed = she won't get a job. Of course she will. It's thankful many don't have the power to hire and fire at will; it would 100% be women who'd be other womens' worst enemies. Pregnant, or too happy sounding a home life, or young and attractive, you've had it in terms of getting the job. Women discriminate against women all the time yet have the nerve to complain when men do it.

Show your DB and DN this thread OP, if you've the guts to do so. Starting out in working world it's good for your DN in particular to see the know it alls' spite 1st hand.

I worked 5 jobs in my gap year so no YANBU.

It could take years to get her dream job, especially now with a lot of redundancies and people searching. It took my DC 3 years to land his dream job and he only got it because he took a "lower" job. The experience he gained and his willingness to do anything won him the job.

You're right, she needs some life experience to add to her CV.

Lots of graduates expect to walk into an amazingly high paid job of their dreams but perversely employers want a combo of excellent academics AND excellent experience.

Most work their way through Uni and are able to add this to their CV to bulk it out but it all depends on where they were working and if it's relevant to their chosen field.

My DD had this issue. She passed her degree with a 1st and now has a half decent job in the NHS but because it doesn't pay as much as she would like she has been grumbling. I had to point out that actually, it's not bad for a 1st full time job and this particular job title will hold water with future employers but we all have to start somewhere.

Kids eh?