To think its no bloody wonder theyre fat?

[ImFree2doasiwant]

My family members. Namely mum and sister.

(I might add, I am also a bit overweight, but trying sucessfully but slowly, REALLY bloody hard to lose it)

Every single family occasion goes like this. Me and dsis taking DC on a day trip. Organising picnic. I say I'll do mine and hers. I message to say I have made us both a really nice salad, with tasty topping and couple of very nice extras, plus a small roll each. She is bringing a nice uncut loaf and butter. I've got rolls already. She has got a couple of "nice salad bits" (This will be coleslaw, couscous, bean salad etc. ) we don't need 2 or 3 more boxes of salad bits, as ive made us both a substantial, varied, filling lunch. It has cost me about £5 each. (Not complaining about the cost)

Ds birthday. Family gathering. I message to say I have stuff for a bbq. I list burgers, sausages, chicken skewers, Some marinated chicken. Lots of sides. Both ask if I need anything. No. I don't need anything else. Both arrive with huge HUGE quantities of food. I had got more than enough for Everyone. One of them brought about twice the amount I had, and the other about the same as I had. I find it really annoying, it's as if I can't possibly have provided enough food . And it irritates me that I could have just not bothered and there would still have been too much.

Yet both, one in particular, does nothing but complain about being very overweight. Surely if someone says "I'll provide lunch" you don't need to then add a load more extra stuff in.

OP I sort of agree with you - it's so bloody dull hearing people talk about how overweight they are whilst watching them shovel food into their face.

A lot of posters here seem to think its 'none of your business' but it IS your business when you care about the health of those closest to you. I'm baffled by the amount of mumsnetters at the moment who seem to think the obesity crisis, the treatment of which is mainly being funded by our taxes via the NHS, is 'none of our business'.

That's how cookouts are. People bring food, you eat what you want, you divvy up the leftovers. Maybe they just wanted more choices.

Stop caring. That’s what you can do. It would be the one positive step you could take for their and your sake. Their bodies are their own as is yours.

You sound like the person at slimming world who loses 1lb and lectures everyone else because they are so accomplished and they are fools with no will power. You don’t have to call them massive fatties out loud, every text you send saying “how about eating my delicious salad instead?!” says it enough.

This is the kind of toxicity that breeds eating disorders.

If people wanna eat loads then fair enough there business but I also think other people don't wanna hear other people complain about either being too fat or too skinny then stuff there face or not eat either. Surely by them complaining to someone about there weight, they are making it there business because they've included them into the conversation/ opinion on there weight. So yeah I'd get pissed off to if someone moaned either way about there weight to me then didn't wanna do anything about it... Why moan if you ain't gunna do nothing about it. Alright some people can't put on weight/lose weight but moaning about being fat then munching a loaf of food isn't even exactly helping...

@SisterAgatha the salad is EXACTLY what she wanted. The extras she is bringing, are almost certainly already in the salad, because I know what she likes. People seem incapable of actually reading. I'm providing what has been asked for, yet they duplicate it by bring more of the same, so there is far far too much food.

I’m reading, and I’m hearing negativity. She wants what she brought. Or she wouldn’t have brought it. Or eaten it. That’s her body, her choice.

You don’t have to eat anything you don’t want to, why should she?

And if there’s too much food to the point you can’t bear to see such waste then don’t make your salad with your tasty toppings

@ImFree2doasiwant

Sorry to shout here but I DONT TELL THEM THEY EAT TOO MUCH. I'm just trying to be supportive of what they say they want to do (And moaning here about it )

You may not say it in words but you would say it in actions and facial expressions. Like do your eyes narrow in a wtf way when they go for seconds? Maybe you dont even notice when they do Your portion controlling without realizing, a "small roll" "couple of extras" A salad isnt a full meal, its a side dish. On a picnic id expect a cold meats spread, ham, salami, cold chicken and the like, cheeses, garden salad with a french dressing,, potato salad, full of bacon, cheese and mayo, buttery bread rolls, plus sweets for after

If they feel the need to bring extra, its pretty easy to see they dont feel what you provide is enough or what they enjoy

@SisterAgatha who mentioned anything about what anyone chooses to eat? I certainly didn’t - nor would I.

Bring, eat - 1000% fine - go for it - absolutely none of my business, don’t care.

Bring x3 more than was arranged and what you’ve spent 3 weeks saying you are bringing then ending up putting it in the bin... that’s what I have a problem with.

Will admit I commented without taking any notice of the title though.

It looks like the only thing going in the bin are the tasty toppings. Everyone else seems cool with the food, or they’d not be bringing it every single time...

And all the title says to me is “I’m not quite so fat as I was before so now I can pass judgement on other fat people who can’t control themselves ha ha ha”

Check yourself OP.

You sound controlling with regard to food. Sorry OP.

Ok, so im, providing what they've asked for, in plentiful quantities, but they provide more because they don't like what they've asked me to provide.

@squeekums your picnic does sound nice.

What are the "tasty toppings?" I need to know this before I vote.

I was going to say I wouldn't mind so much if I didn't get the daily "I'm so fat " conversation. But actually, I do kind because one of them is eating herself into an early grave. And while I don't pass comment about them eating too much etc, she will openly ridicule another family member for eating too much/too fast/being fat.

I do think I'm going to have to try and shut these conversations down though. I'm.at a really difficult time in my life and don't seem to have the capacity to take this on aswell. It's very draining.

Mind your own bloody business! They can eat whatever they want. Stop dictating what people can and can't do. Concentrate on your own nutritionally balanced food and try to get the pole out of your arse.

Ps. What made you fat? Extra food at a picnic or barbecue?

Don’t listen to them. Don’t care. You don’t have to take this on as your fight. Worry about what you eat and just take care of yourself

So what does DSis say when you ask her why she brought extra?

U: here's the salald I packed us
H: ooh here's the porkpie, cheesecake, cheese, biscuits, white baugette and a lb of butter I brought
U: I thought I was making lunch for us, why have you brought so much extra?
H: ....

@LEELULUMPKIN there are options. Smoked mackeral, coconut and lime chicken, chilli and coriander king prawns.

@lovelymm snacks. I tend to graze. I used to be very active, pre DC. Now I am single, and can't go out running in the evenings, so less active. Developed a bad snacking habit. Meals are generally ok.

@SisterAgatha thank you. I shouldn't have started this thread. I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed atm and this issue just tipped me over into moaning at strangers.

Fuck me op you're getting a flaming here.

I totally agree that it's insulting that they bring even more food. They really don't need 3000 cals per day! That's why they're fat!

A lot of people equate an outing /party = overeating.

I'd rather have your relatives visit me than you TBH. You sound a bit controlling and joyless. And they bring snacks!

Extra food at a picnic or barbecue?

^

Over time, yes, probably.

It's not that difficult to figure out really, is it?