To think its no bloody wonder theyre fat?

[ImFree2doasiwant]

My family members. Namely mum and sister.

(I might add, I am also a bit overweight, but trying sucessfully but slowly, REALLY bloody hard to lose it)

Every single family occasion goes like this. Me and dsis taking DC on a day trip. Organising picnic. I say I'll do mine and hers. I message to say I have made us both a really nice salad, with tasty topping and couple of very nice extras, plus a small roll each. She is bringing a nice uncut loaf and butter. I've got rolls already. She has got a couple of "nice salad bits" (This will be coleslaw, couscous, bean salad etc. ) we don't need 2 or 3 more boxes of salad bits, as ive made us both a substantial, varied, filling lunch. It has cost me about £5 each. (Not complaining about the cost)

Ds birthday. Family gathering. I message to say I have stuff for a bbq. I list burgers, sausages, chicken skewers, Some marinated chicken. Lots of sides. Both ask if I need anything. No. I don't need anything else. Both arrive with huge HUGE quantities of food. I had got more than enough for Everyone. One of them brought about twice the amount I had, and the other about the same as I had. I find it really annoying, it's as if I can't possibly have provided enough food . And it irritates me that I could have just not bothered and there would still have been too much.

Yet both, one in particular, does nothing but complain about being very overweight. Surely if someone says "I'll provide lunch" you don't need to then add a load more extra stuff in.

You sound horrid and judgmental on these posts.

Your username is quite ironic. You are free to do as you want, but apparently they are not?

Why was your sister making a separate picnic for DC?

@Smallsteps88 because they want sandwiches and pork pies and she doesn't.

Eat what you like. Let them eat what they like. That’s really all there is to it.

I am overweight myself and my in-laws do a lot of food. I just eat what I’m comfortable with and that’s it, I don’t have a go at them for how fucking dare they make me a sandwich, thoughtless bastards. The audacity I just don’t eat it.

I’m with you OP and surprised at some of the replies. MIL and SIL are exactly the same.

We’re all going on a picnic, catering for our own ‘units’. MIL and SIL each bring x3 enough for everyone there.

Or ‘occasion dinner’ one does starter and veg, one does meat and potatoes, one does dessert and cheese. MIL comes with a starter, roast beef, a chicken, two types of veg and three shop bought desserts, SIL arrives with 3 different starters, 9 blocks of cheese, 2 other types of veg and a Viennetta!

I drives me nuts!

Most fat people know they are fat and the reasons why. We are fat, not stupid or blind.

She didn’t want sandwiches but was bringing an uncut loaf and butter? That’s halfway to a Sandwich.

Miaow!

Being the food police does not paint you in the best light.

Why do people who lose weight or start some health kick suddenly become so judgemental to everyone around them? Do you need some validation that you are the "better" person for "doing the right thing" and losing weight?

Do better!

😂

You're a control freak and they obviously don't like what you provide, don't think you provide enough or are sick of your judgment about their portion sizes.

But YANBU. It's exactly why they're so fat.

itsmesoitis I’d really not be eating in front of you if you made such horrible statements about what I chose to eat. It’s not ok to be so angry at what other people put in their own bodies. I think you guys have some weird ownership issues.

@Hopeisnotastrategy I can see that. I'm frustrated. It wears me down. I have my own struggles (my user name is the one I changed to after my abusive Stbxh hacked all my accounts) and I find it really hard to keep upbeat and positive, for me and for others. Maybe I am a bit judgemental. I'm fat. I know I am. I've spent a few years struggling with it, but at the end of the day the reason I'm.less fat now is because I eat less. Not in a mumsnet competitive undereating way. Just a bit less than I was. And a bit more movement.

And if another fat person told me I was eating too much, I think I’d choke on my meatball sub from laughing.

I like to bring food to friends BBQ to help out and share the costs. I would feel very rude turning up empty handed.
I too would prefer sandwiches to a salad on a day out. I don’t think she’s done anything wrong to deserve this judgement from you.

@itsmesoitis the lone voice of reason.

@Smallsteps88 yes. Hence me getting the individual rolls (artisan rolls btw ). I thought 1 each would be ok.

If you text me telling me that was what you'd packed for our picnic I'd have brought extras. Probably double that amount.

Yep. They bring their own because OP feeds them what she thinks they should have, not what they actually want to have, and as adults, they are allowed to decide for themselves.

I feel like this is probably right. The salad and the small roll does sound a bit of a joyless picnic.

I quite often take food to other people’s houses.

It’s not that they’re shit cooks. It’s that I can’t cope with someone controlling my food. For years I didn’t drive and I’d be at a relatives, hungry and just in need of a bit of crap really.

I still do it now. MIL cooks amazing food, but she never has sweet things or crisps in the house it’s just three set MASSIVE meals a day and sometimes a pudding. So I will make a cake or take some chocolate or cheese curls. And it isn’t that I’m overweight, or a ganet, it’s just that I want to know it’s there if I want it.

I have the same problem at home. When DH cooks and dinner is at 8.30, I hate it. Because I can’t control it. I am hungry because of him and the red mist literally descends.

It’s not always easy, food is a contentious issue. If I was going to a picnic or a barbecue I’d take something, more so if the kids were there too.

Maybe try suggesting they bring something specific in future or halving the amount you offer if the waste is driving you mad. But I don’t think it’s fair to judge it, everyone has their reasons. If it annoys you that much send them home with barbecue meat.

Personally I think there’s nothing greater than having a fridge full of buffet and barbecue the next day

honestly, I don't eat like a sparrow

Bit off topic, but this always makes me giggle because sparrows eat between quarter and half their body weight daily It's like if 60kg person eat between 15-30kg of food a day
I know, I know. It's meant as small portion compare to humans.

I message to say I have made us both a really nice salad, with tasty topping and couple of very nice extras, plus a small roll each

Ugh, id bring extra cos that just sounds boring.
Id guess it all low fat, low salt, no flavour type crap too as you think thats what they need

You can't do much about it OP. I suggest the following:

Stop buying any perishable food for BBQs etc and just eat what they bring (you can provide alcohol maybe?). If you do buy things, make sure they're freezable so you can keep them for another time.

If it's at your place, absolutely insist that they take stuff away with them as it will just go to waste at your house (as in, not enough people to eat this amount in the time it takes to go off).

Good luck, it does sound frustrating.

Sorry to shout here but I DONT TELL THEM THEY EAT TOO MUCH. I'm just trying to be supportive of what they say they want to do (And moaning here about it )

If A keeps happening and you don't adapt to A then A will keep happening.

In this case. If you know they'll bring extra food anyway, stop providing so much of your own.
Easy.

Also.
You can only.control the actions of yourself, everyone else is beyond your control.. worth remembering..

What did itsmesoitis say that was so horrible?

Fml I do wish people would at least read my posts. I haven't provided low fat low salt low taste anything.

@SchrodingersImmigrant ok, correction, I maybe do eat like a sparrow.

Maybe they don't want to end up neglected in a care home. Perhaps they read some the coronavirus threads on Mumsnet and see how the elderly are seen as an inconvenient burden, who are just waiting for death, costing lots in pensions and social care.

Just respect their decision to choose to enjoy what they enjoy eating. We all have to die of something in the end. Live, eat, and be merry.