Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset that we weren't invited to bil+sil baby shower

171 replies

Soapysoap · 23/08/2020 23:03

Just that really. Whole family there or invited, both sides, men, women and kids, not just the women. And my DH, DC and I were just left out of it all, didn't even know about it.
Now it's not the new parents at fault, it was a surprise to them, so they didn't know. But mil was there (and we have always got on great) so she knew, and so did the rest of dh family.
It's like we're just forgotten about.
Pictures are all over social media, and normally I just brush things off but I feel really hurt this time. I've not commented. But I keep thinking I should. I don't know if I'm being over sensitive. I don't even know what I want from this. Just a vent maybe. Sorry for waffling on.

OP posts:
beelzeboob · 23/08/2020 23:05

I think you should ask why you weren’t invited to the mil

Inching · 23/08/2020 23:05

Well, who organised it?

Shizzlestix · 23/08/2020 23:08

Indeed, who organised it and why didn’t mil ask if you were going? Odd.

Akindelle · 23/08/2020 23:08

YABU to want to attend when it’s illegal due to Covid restrictions. How many households were present?

OrigamiOwl · 23/08/2020 23:09

Who organised it? I would be hurt at being left out too.

Original poster
Soapysoap · 23/08/2020 23:10

I'm not sure but I'd imagine mil had something to do with organising it. She would have had to take the day off at least

OP posts:
ChicCroissant · 23/08/2020 23:13

Did your DH definitely not know about it either, how close do you live to your BIL and SIL?

Original poster
Soapysoap · 23/08/2020 23:14

Please don't bring covid into it ffs. It was an outdoor event. It wasn't illegal. You can have weddings indoors off up to 30 people now and kids go to school in huge groups come September. I don't need the covid police out trying to tell me my feelings aren't valid. I'm not saying I would have gone either. I'm upset that I wasn't invited and quite possibly that it was deliberately kept from us. And I genuinely have no idea why they would do that

OP posts:
Original poster
Soapysoap · 23/08/2020 23:15

@ChicCroissant

Did your DH definitely not know about it either, how close do you live to your BIL and SIL?
We live in the same street 😬
OP posts:
lavenderlove · 23/08/2020 23:15

I think your DH should ask not you, but I think it's very odd that they left you out and I would be hurt too x

LouiseTrees · 23/08/2020 23:15

Have you at least told BIL+SIL you didn’t know about it. So they don’t think you are being rude? Perhaps then they will volunteer the information on who threw it

Elouera · 23/08/2020 23:17

With your attitude to answering reasonable replies, I can see why you weren't invited!!!

altiara · 23/08/2020 23:17

Ouch!

CrazyOldBagLady · 23/08/2020 23:18

Anyone would find that hurtful. Yanbu.

Original poster
Soapysoap · 23/08/2020 23:22

Dh wants to go mad because he feels we are always an after thought. Our kids aren't treat equal to some of the grandkids etc. But I don't want to rock the boat. Lots of little things over the years you know. But I don't like drama. I've told him not to and I keep telling myself not to but I feel like I should still. Torn I guess

OP posts:
Akindelle · 23/08/2020 23:22

It was an outdoor event. It wasn't illegal.
It was if more than two households attended. Perhaps you’re outside their “bubble” and that’s why you weren’t invited.

scubadive · 23/08/2020 23:23

Covid alert, you can have 6 people meeting outdoors, not the whole family.

What is wrong with people.

emmathedilemma · 23/08/2020 23:29

@scubadive that depends where you live, it's 15 people from 5 households in Scotland outdoors and has been for some weeks.

Mothership4two · 23/08/2020 23:33

it's not the new parents at fault, it was a surprise to them, so they didn't know

Who did organise it then OP? Question has been asked before, but you haven't answered. DH maybe should discuss with them?

(Covid police are making valid points)

Original poster
Soapysoap · 23/08/2020 23:35

We all live in close proximity. People have been sitting outside their houses all summer. It was literally on the green outside where the majority of them live. Theres not many of us live away from the green. Also b+sil are part of our support bubble and we see them regularly.

OP posts:
Icecreambaby · 23/08/2020 23:36

I think your DH or you should say something. If it's your DH's family organising it, this is just rude and disrepsectful.

Original poster
Soapysoap · 23/08/2020 23:37

@Mothership4two I did answer. I don't know who organised it but mil must have had something to do with it, she would have had to take a day off

OP posts:
ChicCroissant · 23/08/2020 23:45

I think you should let your DH go for it with his family! I'm guessing that a baby shower would be organised by someone close to the mum-to-be but they seem to have managed to contact the rest of the in-laws.

How did you miss it if it was on the same street?

BlogTheBlogger · 23/08/2020 23:46

@Soapysoap

Dh wants to go mad because he feels we are always an after thought. Our kids aren't treat equal to some of the grandkids etc. But I don't want to rock the boat. Lots of little things over the years you know. But I don't like drama. I've told him not to and I keep telling myself not to but I feel like I should still. Torn I guess
Good, so he should go mad. Maybe he will get some answers. Sitting back quietly seething isnt going to give you an explanation as to why you werent invited is it. YANBU
SenorPeabodyEsq · 23/08/2020 23:47

That's extremely hurtful. I would want to know too.

Swipe left for the next trending thread