To find baby showers crass?

[GreekOddess]

I know that I am being unreasonable. I just really don't like them and gender reveal parties are even worse!

My youngest child is 10 and they weren't a thing in the UK back then. I can't even put my finger on why I don't like them as they are harmless enough. It just feels wrong!

Does anyone else know where I'm coming from?

I wouldn’t have a baby shower but I don’t mind them in principle - I think it can be a nice way of getting together with people one last time before the baby comes.

I loathe gender reveal parties! I just find them absolutely festering with stereotypes and cliches.

YANBU to feel the way you do. I don’t have strong feelings either way on them, but when I’ve been to them for close friends it’s been nice to make a little fuss of them before the baby comes. It is just an excuse for a party a lot of the time, but sometimes that’s nice

I don't think you are unreasonable - i entirely agree. Another ghastly monstrosity for which we have to thank? the Americans.

They are utterly cringeworthy. I am glad they weren’t a thing when I was pregnant with my DDs.

I dislike any activity which obliges people to give gifts. Baby showers are a blatant grab. If people want to give a gift to mark the arrival of a new baby, then they will, regardless of whether there’s sponge cake and Prosecco on offer.

Gender reveal parties are awful, in my book. Nobody actually cares about the sex of a new baby beyond the parents and maybe the grandparents, though I’d hope everyone would just want a well and happy baby. It’s another bid for attention and gifts.

So much of this is bound up in bloody social media. Having a baby is a wonderful thing for the family. You shouldn’t need the attention and validation of a load of other people to make your lives special.

I seem to feel rather more strongly than I realised about these things...

If they're not impinging on your life I don't see the problem.

I didnt have one in either of my pregnancies, mainly becuase i don't like being the centre of attention but I've enjoyed the ones I've attended. That being said, all the ones I've been to have been very relaxed gatherings in the M2Bs home, close family and friends, buffet food and a cake and a few silly games. I wouldn't thank you for a over the top grand affair with a hefty price tag- that does seem crass and grabby

YANBU, they are obnoxious and entitled.

oh i agree about the gender reveal party though. No body except the parents give a shit about the sex of a baby

I think it can be a nice way of getting together with people one last time before the baby comes.

I totally agree with this. I like baby showers in principle. But it really depends how they're organised ie. if you are expected to spend a certain amount on a gift or the baby shower is somewhere really awkward to get to.

I don't see it any different to any other big celebration... birthdays, weddings, christenings etc.

I think maybe it's the theming and everything that irks me. I can remember more than 40 years ago my Aunt and Sister were expecting at the same time and the females in the family gathered together at my Gran's house for an afternoon. It was lovely and exciting they did the old wife's superstition where you put a ring on a piece of string over the pregnant belly to see if the baby was a boy or girl. It was essentially a baby shower! My 5 year old self didn't understand half the adult talk that went on! The air turned blue at times 🙈

But now it's all formal and there are rules attached you have to bring a present and I've even seen invites with a dress code. The fun and innocence has gone but perhaps I'm just getting old!

Yanbu

Grim

I don’t get the point of baby showers...a party with no booze? Much nicer to visit the tired new mum and give her a boost with gifts after the birth.

Gender reveal are just awful. Very attention-seeking and entitled. For people have both parties?!

If you don't like them then don't have one. It's pretty simple really.

I'm surprised it took a whole 4 posts for the "Americanism" comment. Never mind the fact the idea, like Halloween, was taken to the US by immigrants.

I’ve been pregnant 3 times in the last 20 years. Baby showers were definitely not a thing in the uk in either of the first two. But so many people seem to think they are a basic requirement now. Plus gender reveals and endless reassurance scans (that don’t seem to ‘reassure’ anyone).

I think it’s all due to Instagram tbh.

I would never have a baby shower. I’d be horrified if someone organised one for me. I’m of the traditional British school of thought that people can buy you a present after the baby is born if they choose to do so.

I’ve never been invited to one either. Many of my friends have had babies and none of them would have dreamed of having a baby shower.

Most baby showers are not the extravagant Americanised parties MN seems to think they are.

I’ve been to 4 and they were all low key small gatherings of family and friends, with a few balloons and decorations and a buffet.
Just a nice little catch up.

I like them! I like buying cute little clothes for babies and it's nice to celebrate my friends and share their excitement about the impending arrival

My baby shower was a surprise but we just had a nice afternoon tea in my Mum's garden with family and friends. Some people brought gifts and a couple didn't but that was irrelevant. It was nice to see everyone and play a few games and eat cake. I really enjoyed it 😊

Unlike Halloween, baby showers are not traditional scottish (and I doubt Irish) celebrations. So it’s a silly comparison to make.

My American and Canadian friends all had baby showers. That’s fair enough, given that’s a cultural norm for them. But it’s definitely an American import here and mostly inspired by social media.

I was given a surprise one. I hope that's ok.

I understand that now the mother-to-be's friend asks on behalf of the mother to be for money so they can choose what they want. This can be a bit embarrassing for someone who is lower paid that either of the parents to be and the friend asking and most of the other people there. In that sort of situation I've given my apologies, and not attended, obviously. A present doesn't seem quite so bad. I might feel different about it if it was a close friend rather than a not very close work colleague. I know people can probably price presents pretty accurately too, but money really gives no leeway for subsidising effort for money, if you haven't got much of the latter.

Agree, just another excuse for grabby people to use people's time and attention and get presents for something which is their own life choice.
Think the same about christenings though, naming ceremonies and most weddings.

I’m sick of seeing these reveals and parties on social media, just random people showing off. Truth is NO ONE CARES !

Ugh ! Too much. Gender reveal, Baby Shower and Christening all for one child. How much attention does mum want ?

I think they are fun. The ones I have been to have not been organised by the mum, and are not a grab there is no obligation yo give a gift. Normally a good excuse for a get together and some silly games. Last one I went to we had cream teas.

But now it's all formal and there are rules attached you have to bring a present

That's always been the whole point! For both bridal and baby showers - it's to shower the honouree with gifts.

You can have parties, without it being a shower, if you justnwant a celebration before the baby arrives. Just give it a different name