To find baby showers crass?

[GreekOddess]

I know that I am being unreasonable. I just really don't like them and gender reveal parties are even worse!

My youngest child is 10 and they weren't a thing in the UK back then. I can't even put my finger on why I don't like them as they are harmless enough. It just feels wrong!

Does anyone else know where I'm coming from?

The crass ones are the ones where the parents to be seem to think their last name is Kardashian and they should be reated accordingly.
Nice ones are the low key fun get together with all the female friends family members where they can eat cake and talk babies, and clothes and births. Throw in a few babygros and tiny socks and the day is complete.

YANBU I thought that they were to shower the baby when it arrived. So basically presents for the newborn. What it seems to be is a get together before the baby is even born... and then you end up buying another card and present when it arrives

I’m almost sure it used to be to shower the born baby not the unborn baby. Unless I got the wrong end of the stick ?

I'm not a fan of baby showers.
I like to buy presents for when baby is here safely!
Also wtf are these gender reveals and plastering it all over social media? No one cares apart from the person having it.
I have the same reaction if they're having a boy or a girl! It's all good as long as the baby and mama is healthy!
I don't like to know Sex before the baby has arrived but that's just my personal choice! I love the whole it's a boy! It's a girl and they're weight announcements when they are born x

dededa

I'm very sorry for your losses.

I lost a baby at 16 weeks and although I'm quite well adjusted to it now and feel extremely lucky to have the 3 wonderful DCs I have, I still find it very difficult to listen to any gender reveal guff or people banging on about finding out the sex, as if the whole pregnancy revolves around it, at the same gestation my baby died. Forgive me if it's me being U here, but I can't help concluding they are a bit stupid and I get quite angry (internally, I've never said anything in these situations obviously, because we don't talk about miscarriage do we?😕).

I know exactly where you’re coming from, I refused to be the main organiser for my best friend’s as I hated the idea of them but then my work friend’s threw me a surprise one at a really low point, I was 37 weeks pregnant, my MIL had just died and my much loved cat was dying. It was honestly one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me.

I felt really guilty about not organising my friend’s after that!

I'm surprised it took a whole 4 posts for the "Americanism" comment. Never mind the fact the idea, like Halloween, was taken to the US by immigrants.

Same. I roll my eyes so hard when I hear the Halloween and Americanism thing. A quick Google is all it takes to understand where it came from Usually said by my parents generation too which is odd, as you’d think they’re more likely to be aware...

I'm just grateful I couldn't go to the one I was invited to!

Totally agree metallica!

I wish I could give this OP a giant thumbs down. Since I can’t I will just note that it’s too bad that a lovely American tradition of celebration has become such a sour source of negativity in Britain.

I agree, grabby, attention seeking, entitled shite. All of it!

It’s the kind of thing that I would NEVER arrange for myself, but I’d be over the moon if someone close to me arranged one as a surprise.

Yep agree. Very tacky. Gender reveals are worse, god awful and chavvy. Wouldn't have either myself but understand people enjoy them as a celebration and to get together.

I wish I could give this OP a giant thumbs down. Since I can’t I will just note that it’s too bad that a lovely American tradition of celebration has become such a sour source of negativity in Britain.

Agree. They do sound horrible the way they're done in the UK. The ones I've been to here in the US have been lovely.

YANBU - there were no gender reveal parties or baby showers when I was pregnant.

It all seems like a big dramatic fuss to be honest. I find them very cringe!

Much nicer to visit the tired new mum and give her a boost with gifts after the birth.

You are joking right? Everyone on Mumsnet knows that no one apart from the maternal grandma is allowed near the mother or baby for at least a year

Since I can’t I will just note that it’s too bad that a lovely American tradition of celebration has become such a sour source of negativity in Britain.

They haven't really don't worry. It's only on mumsnet that everyone has no joy in life, friends are an inconvenience, families are tolerated at best. In the real world people enjoy these things and, whether they have a shower or not, new babies are celebrated by all

I think they are lovely. Only been to one held by an American friend was a very nice afternoon was pregnant with my first nice to meet some other new mums. Don’t get the weird negativity a party is always good surely?

I’m always wary of giving anything or celebrating in any way until the baby’s arrived safely and all’s well.
So no, I’m not a fan. Presents should come after the birth IMO.

I've read post after post here referring to baby showers as grabby. If your friends decide (without your knowledge) to organise a get together for your nearest and dearest before the birth how is this grabby? I have never attended or been invited to a baby shower with a gift list, or one where the mother to be has arranged it herself.

With regards to gender reveals, if you don't like them, don't have one or don't go. I've read a few comments to say that no one other than the parents give a shit if it's a boy or a girl, that's just not true. My DS was excited to find out if he was getting a brother or a sister, my parents were excited, my close friends were excited. I did have a gender reveal, it was a simple get together that I catered with probably 10-15 guests. For me it was amazing to find out if I was having a boy or a girl surrounded by my family and friends.

I didn't want one and ended up with 2, they were lovely and just really a chance for everyone to meet up before the baby arrived. We had a few scones and played a don't forget the lyrics type game, everyone just had to write the answers down so no embarrassing moments.
I did get a few gifts but didn't expect them and was very grateful.

I dislike any activity which obliges people to give gifts.
So you don't attend birthday parties? Christenings? Weddings? What a fun sponge.

I was (very kindly) given a suprise baby shower by my colleagues at the time. I was mortified at the idea as I hate attention, but it was actually lovely. The host made some sandwiches and cakes, and we sat in the garden and chatted. I got lots of advice re the birth and life with a newborn which was brilliant. Some people gave me small presents at the party, some brought some round after the baby was born. How MNetters can get so worked up about such things is truly baffling to me.

Totally agree, think they are super tacky. People always bleat on about 'Its just a nice opportunity to get people together' but let's be honest, it is all about getting gifts.

I also think it is poor taste to celebrate a baby who hasnt arrived yet.

YANBU, I mostly see these new "traditions" as yet another way to emotionally blackmail people into spending money on shit no one needs.

... Reminds me of the commercial onslaught around Valentine's day, Mother's day, Father's day... Celebrating family bonds sounds nice on paper, but why do so many shops seem so invested in our intimate relationships? And why does the price tag attached to these events always seem to be rising? (don't get me started on weddings...)

I never had one and have only ever been to one although it was more of a send off, we all brought presents and were happy to. I don't care either way, if people like them then fab.

What I really can't abide though, is the faux horror at being expected to bring a present to an occasion like a baby shower or especially wedding when you know damn well it's the done thing and you will anyway but act as if the notion is a shock to your very core.