To find baby showers crass?

[GreekOddess]

I know that I am being unreasonable. I just really don't like them and gender reveal parties are even worse!

My youngest child is 10 and they weren't a thing in the UK back then. I can't even put my finger on why I don't like them as they are harmless enough. It just feels wrong!

Does anyone else know where I'm coming from?

@ExtremelyBoldSquirrels

Unlike Halloween, baby showers are not traditional scottish (and I doubt Irish) celebrations. So it’s a silly comparison to make.

My American and Canadian friends all had baby showers. That’s fair enough, given that’s a cultural norm for them. But it’s definitely an American import here and mostly inspired by social media.

It's not a silly comparison. Baby showers have been about since Renaissance times. The point of them was to provide the mother with useful items prior to the birth of the baby.

Even my Grandmother had a "gathering of the ladies" prior to her first birth. It's been extremely common for donkeys years.

The only remotely recent import is calling it a baby shower.

YANBU - I find them a bit OTT and haven't had one for any of my pregnancies (but don't judge people too harshly if they want one, it's just not my cup of tea).

But gender reveal parties are another fucking level.

I don’t mind other people having them (I’ve been to a couple and they’ve been fine/cute/fun) but didn’t have and wouldn’t have had one myself as I think it’s kind of naff and embarrassing. And grabby. Like wedding gift lists... I don’t get worked up when other people have them but would never have had one myself!

@Chickychickydodah

I’m sick of seeing these reveals and parties on social media, just random people showing off. Truth is NO ONE CARES !

I care. I’m very happy for my friends when they get pregnant/married. It’s very sad that you aren’t.

The idea of a baby shower is not a problem. My issue is when the guests have to join in with a theme or spend a shit load of money.

Times are a changing!

I had a lovely baby shower, I didn't want one at all but I'm so pleased my friends surprised me. I knew about it a few days before but too late to do anything about it! I received some lovely gifts for baby, the best one was a box of posh chocolates for me though! We were in my living room eating delicious nibbles and cake. Opened a few presents and nattered for ages. No silly games, apparently the only gift request was that between them they bought me a microwave sterilisier! DP knew we needed one but I didn't see the point and wouldn't let him buy it!

I'm with you. Grabby, attention-seeking and a bit counting your chickens before they hatch. Even worse is the way so many British call naff parties 'showers' (a gathering with family and friends is a party, not a baby shower) or organise them for themselves and then ask for money and/or expect the guests to pay to go and give them a gift (or tell them to proffer more money as a gift) or have them for 2+ babies. Even tackier than the original concept.

Sort of following on, is it Ok to not go and not give money if you don't know the mother well - as in can just about put the face to the name at work and didn't know she was pregnant until the invitation from her close work friend? I did buy a present after the baby was born, but just one little outfit for the next size up.

I didn't have any of this with my two thank the lord! I think it was around ( but not huge like it is now ) and bizarrely I thought it was to do with water or a strange kind of baptism thing for after the baby is born for non religious people !! I had no idea back then what it was. I've never been to one myself but I've seen things on Facebook of exploding balloons and lots of presents for the baby , which just looks a bit grabby.

It's another thing that's grown over the years and seems expected!

It’s not for me. I’d be uncomfortable throwing a party where I was clearly expecting gifts. In my experience they tend to involve a lot of plastic shit, throw away decorations etc. which is totally against my principals.

Some of my friends have had meals out in their last few weeks of pregnancy as a kind of ‘see everyone before I get stuck under a baby’ thing with no gift obligations and a casual atmosphere, which has been nice.

I wish I had had one. I played it off as not being in to them thinking they were tacky etc but in reality I didn't see the point. I was quite depressed and convinced I'd never bring DS home. I was of course completely wrong and it feels like a missed opportunity to celebrate.

@julybaby32

Sort of following on, is it Ok to not go and not give money if you don't know the mother well - as in can just about put the face to the name at work and didn't know she was pregnant until the invitation from her close work friend? I did buy a present after the baby was born, but just one little outfit for the next size up.

Of course it is because it's cheeky AF to have a 'shower' and tell people to hand over money as a gift and even more so to invite someone who doesn't know the mother well, grabby AF.

I’m really not a fan. I realise that I’m the abnormal one, but I’ve lost lots of babies and I walked past a baby shower at our local country park a few weeks ago and it just made me so nervous at the idea of counting your chickens. While practically, it’s not always easy, wait til your baby’s safely here to celebrate or congratulate!

I absolutely hate being the centre of attention too, so they’re basically my idea of hell.

Well yeah ,they are are a bit crass as are Gender reveal parties but you don't have to go? If people want them just leave them to it ,in my day😂 we just got presents when the baby was born ,but you could say the same about christening,s and naming ceremony,s go or don't go.

They are grabby. I prefer a ‘sip and see’ instead.

YANBU. They’re bloody awful and as tacky as tits

I agree, it's the Americanisation of everything. I hate gender reveal parties with a passion, who gives a shit.

Baby showers can be ok if they are not taken too seriously. I've hosted two work ones for colleagues, we bought a cake, shared with tea and gave them flowers and a gift.

The only proper one I've been too was a Canadian and that was still low-key with the friends organising it and everyone bringing a dish.

YANBU.

That’s all I’m saying on the matter

Not something that I would ever wish to participate in.

YANBU so granny and attention seeking, awful things.

*grabby 🙈

I hate them also. Ditto ‘gender reveals’.

My friends wanted to throw me one and I said no, they’re just not ‘me’, I also didn’t have a massive Hen Holiday either, despite their protests! It’s up to the individual, I’ve been to baby showers because it was important to my friends and because they are just basically a reason to see them! Personally I’d rather the baby be there though 😂

@RunningFromInsanity

Most baby showers are not the extravagant Americanised parties MN seems to think they are.

I’ve been to 4 and they were all low key small gatherings of family and friends, with a few balloons and decorations and a buffet.
Just a nice little catch up.

I've said before on MN that I think baby showers have not transferred well across the Atlantic. Here in Canada I have never come across a themed shower. Family and friends gather, and yes, they bring a gift, but it doesn't have to be expensive. The last shower I went to my two sisters and I bought a joint gift.

Worse is a baby Sprinkle for the second baby... 🤮