To find baby showers crass?

[GreekOddess]

I know that I am being unreasonable. I just really don't like them and gender reveal parties are even worse!

My youngest child is 10 and they weren't a thing in the UK back then. I can't even put my finger on why I don't like them as they are harmless enough. It just feels wrong!

Does anyone else know where I'm coming from?

I feel the same Op, it’s becoming americanised with all the get togethers for baby showers and gender reveals etc. I find it tacky, it’s basically a way to get free gifts. Nothing wrong with a simple tea party with friends and family, but some seem to overdo it and treat it like a wedding.

I'm going to have one. Just a fun excuse for a party with the grandparents, my friends and siblings. Anyone who wants to bring a gift is going to be told to give the money to a baby/childbirth charity.
Any recommended ones - Tommy's?

They make me uncomfortable and I think it’s because, during the pregnancy, obviously you hope that it will all go well and the baby will be fine but you don’t know that yet. Celebrating the baby before it’s arrived seems somewhat like tempting fate.

Gender reveal is sooo tacky.

I think they’re fine if someone else organises it in your honour. I would feel horribly grabby and entitled if I organised one for myself!

I love baby showers. Traditional Indian ones are great but can get a bit overwhelming - the western style ones are often really good to have afterwards (at home usually) to pamper the mum to be.

Depends on the shower.
I’ve been to chiled ones where it was a nice opportunity for female family members to meet before the baby arrives. I’ve been to one where we had to answer a quiz to win a prize for who knew the mum to be best. That was cringe.

Baby showers are lovely! I enjoy attending them as it’s like afternoon tea

I didint have one with my first child but did with my second as it was going to be my last baby and I was also leaving the workplace, so it really was one last meet up type thing and I loved every minute of it!! I did get lots of things for the baby actually, but I made it very clear nothing was needed as I had everything from my first baby and I just wanted to see everyone!

However one thing I would not ever do is open gifts in front of people at events like that, because I wouldn’t want to make it obvious if someone didint buy a gift, or bought a gift not in the price range as the rest, if that makes sense.

How long before 'conception parties' are instituted to add even more vulgarity to the equation

You and everyone else on mumsnet. Except me. I had a baby shower for my now 8 year old and so have pretty much all my friends. They've all been very lovely - close friends having cake and tea and some time together, and a few presents for forthcoming baby. I dont understand why people hate this.

Oh and they've always been arranged by friends and I have never seen a gift list. Not been to one baby shower like that.

TBH I really do not feel that I would post if I felt so dismissive about any topic!! But yes I do agree with you 🙃

I always politely decline baby shower invitations because they're a bit crap and cringe. One friend did have a gender reveal that I didn't go to, she sent a video round though of her friends and family shouting "Boy boy boy" or "Girl girl girl" as she opened this box to see what colour balloon was in. I was REALLY hoping it would be a white balloon with the words "it doesn't matter, get a fucking life you lot" but sadly not.

I've never been to a baby shower with a theme, or stupid games or quizzes, or a gift list. I've never been to one that's organised by the mother to be. I've never been to one where any part of it has been posted on social media.

But I've only been to American baby showers tbf.

Best example of counting one's chickens....

I got roped into helping organising one. I reluctantly agreed. It was a surprise for the mother. The child passed in utero not long after.

You're not being unreasonable.

Even if they are an American import so what. Why does mn have such an issue with 'American isms'. My sister is married to an American & everytime I've been I've found it to be an amazing country with very welcoming peole all of with thought very highly of GB. There are lots of this which cross many cultures why the hate for anything American?

Baby showers have been around a lot longer where I live, but in a lot of cases I find them pretty crass and unenjoyable too. I don't think it has to be that way, but it almost always is.

I often find wedding showers to be similar. Maybe it's the emphasis on gifts, which in many cases people don't really need.

I never used to like the idea of baby showers. I now live in the US and when I was pregnant had one thrown for me by my inlaws. When it was mentioned I was very uncomfortable with the idea and didnt like the thought of people being obligated to buy extra presents. In the end it was lovely, just family and a few friends. I made it clear ahead of time presents weren't neccessary (I talked to DH beforehand about saying no presents but he said people would want to). Baby showers here are to give presents ahead of time, you don't then get more presents when the baby is born which I think people in the UK don't always realise and the people at mine were people who would have likely got us stuff anyway. There was alcohol there for those that wanted it, there was food (a few different people brought dishes), some silly games and men were there too. It was just generally a nice afternoon to get together with everyone, have some food and chat. As it happened I went in to labour on the way home so it was literally the last time we had together pre-baby with everyone.

In Canada I’ve been to many ranging from a few friends and mostly family around someone’s house to an event in a hall with 100 people. Overall I think they are a nice idea, welcoming the new (usually first) baby and ‘showering’ the mom in love. Almost everyone likes buying sweet, little clothing baby clothes etc.

You are expected to but a present but there is a huge range in what’s acceptable. For my first I had a tiny shower in London thrown by my friends and was given a lovely change bag. It was much nicer than I would’ve bought myself. I also had a larger, family shower at home and was mainly given mainly clothing, towels etc. There were both really special.

Mine was actually really special.

I’d had multiple losses over three years so did not want to ‘celebrate’ a baby that wasn’t here yet for obvious reasons. But anyway, my six closest pals and my mum asked if we could go out for lunch just so they could wish me well and have a catch up.

They were all very sensitive but made a fuss over me and I’d agreed to a few little gifts as it got closer - anyway they’d gotten me some lovely, thoughtful stuff. It was low key, intimate and thoughtful - if it had been a big, themed, cliched one I would have hated it.

But... each to their own. I don’t like showy ones with expectations of gifts.

My friend said it was a pricey lunch and they paid for the mum too so was expensive day out. Then a nice gift. A nice way to meet up. Can work out expensive though

Agree completely. Totally naff and grabby. I didn’t have one and don’t like them. As for “gender” reveals- grotesque. Also tempting fate before a baby is born.

Don’t see why they’ve been imported from the US.

I’ve only been to one which was hosted by an American friend (I guess she’d been to a lot and felt they were very standard). People offered to throw me one expecting me to say yes (more “when shall we have yours?”) and I made it very clear that there should be no baby shower, just not my thing at all.

Ok, so dont have one.

Problem solved. Never understood why people get so het up about things that impact their life is a grand total of zero ways.

Baby showers don't bother me too much, though I've never been to one, but I HATE gender reveal parties. All that pink for a girl and blue for a boy shit. Why does it matter so much what sex your kid is?

most things that originate in america could be added to the list imo.

• made up names
• baby showers
• gender reveals
• grooms men
• trick or treat
• pre wedding dinners
• massive gas guzzling cars driven by townies

I could go on and on