She’s his only friend is he? Well you’re his only wife, and the baby is his only baby!
This is a damn good point and you could do worse than drill yourself on this repeatedly.
How many hours per week on average do you speak to your best friend? Now how about all of your friends? And what does that average out to per day? Because honestly, I doubt anybody has the time to spend 10 hours a day talking to their friends. I doubt even 6th form and uni students manage that!
I have always wanted my son to have a good relationship with his dad. I dont see my dad and my partner doesnt see his dad. We both agreed that he wanted to be better than them.
He might have agreed it in words but what he is doing with his actions is very clearly showing you that he would rather stay up all night chatting to somebody on the Internet than actually parent his son.
Whether or not your son has a good relationship with his dad isn't down to whether you leave his dad or not. It's down to how much his effort his dad puts, in regardless of who lives where.
Years ago a member of my family decided she didn't want her kid's dad to see them, and she put up all sorts of barriers. He spent all his time and money going through court in England, then again in Scotland to fight for access. Every week's holiday he had from work and every penny of disposable income was spent camping near where she'd moved them to, to get to see his kids. His kids are grown up now and they have a brilliant relationship with him, because he did what a father who wants to have a relationship with his kids will do.
Women shouldn't have to pander and cajole men to want to have a good relationship with their kids. They either want to, and will or they don't and we can't make them.
If I go home to my family I'm taking my son away from his dad and his loving grandparents. And he would see his dad at best once or twice a year
OK so for one, if you go to your family for support there is no rule saying you have to stay there long term. You can move back closer once you've got a job and so has he and the house/child support etc is all in place. We are recommending you go there because there are the humans who will support this mum with her baby while she is going through a break up.
If he has no job at the moment there is also no reason why if you decide to stay in Scotland, he couldn't find a job closer and move to be a shorter commute from his kid. That is down to him, not you. Just like the reason why this relationship is breaking down, is down to him, not you. Even if you moved to the Outer Hebrides, as long as you didn't block him, it's down to him, not you, how often he will see his child. If he phones and video chats once your son is old enough, if he visits twice a year, twenty or none, that is all down to him, not you.