DH's uncle wants to move into our new house with his wife and 2 kids,... We've not even got the keys yet!!

[UmmMaryam2019]

DHs uncle is a proprietor, currently renovating a large house in his home town. Husband and I found a lovely house also in the same town and with his uncle's help(financially too) we will soon be completing purchase. It's located 5 mins away from an exceptionally excellent independent primary school.

Yesterday DHs uncle requested to move into our soon to be new house if his house renovation is not completed in time for his 5yo son to start school in September.
His uncle had paid for his son to start this private school last year also. However their new house wasn't ready then either and the parents couldn't get their son awake and ready in time for the 35min journey from their current house to this school. His uncle's wife refuses to take her son to his current preschool which is 2 doors away from their current house. So his uncle does the school run during work hours.
DH works for his uncle in the town his uncle currently lives in. Last year they lost the money he paid for the school, it seems they are in the same situation again this year. However they want our new house before we have even got the keys and moved in.
DH parents also live by this school, and his uncle had lived there until he got married. He has in the recent past stayed there with his wife and kids too, for 2 weeks. I've asked DH why they don't stay there, he said they not welcome back.
They will expect hotel treatment, restaurant service, childcare for their 5yo son and 1yo daughter just like they did at my PIL. I have my own 1yo DD to look after. And to be honest when we went on holiday last November with them and extended family, they avoided our company by retreating to their room whenever we were around, so I'm completely baffled as to why they even suggested this.
DH feels he can't refuse his uncle given the excessive help we've received in actually buying this house(it was beyond our budget) But jointly neither of us want them living in our new house.
We're not sure how much longer his house will take to be ready, the electric and gas are not connected yet, they haven't fitted any furniture, they've made no attempt in packing/decluttering their current house.
We will be working endlessly to pay for this perfectly lovely house we're buying, DHs uncle family are notorious for being messy, we wont be able to afford repairing things they damage, we've only just managed to afford the house. And is it honestly prefect. I really don't want it ruined by his uncle's family.
Please help me find a way to say no without being rude and still showing him we appreciate all the help his uncle has given.

This has money laundering written all over it!

No wonder Uncle can afford to be soo generous...

Where is the update OP?

@TempestHayes

Why can't this rich bloke take his family to a hotel? I know such people have form for being tight, but he's taking the piss.

DH has spoken to uncle, he didn't refuse outright to take uncle and his family in, but he made clear we will not be have the time to do the cultural hosting (cooking, cleaning or spending all day entertaining them) and has kindly suggested a nearby hotel to him. I heard all other relatives did the same. The aunty is just too much too accommodate.

What did the uncle say?

Sounds like your dh is a keeper, OP! Just back him up if the uncle tries you next!

You have married into a a backward family who are all crooks and I can probably guess what city you live in. You need to keep your eyes open about how vulnerable you are. You have no job and no home. If your marriage goes downhill (InshAllah it won't!) then you're in a really, really vulnerable position. Many many women before you have made the same mistakes you have , and been screwed over.

You and your husband can choose to be part of this cartel, in which case crack on, or refuse to be part of money laundering, other family members dictating your life choices.

I'm not saying this to be patronising OP , though it may sound it to you, but just to warn you from someone slightly older and wiser than you .

One other point to PPs saying they don't understand the cultural issues - this is a financially vulnerable woman in the UK - culture can't excuse taking advantage of family members and financial fraud. The culture is (largely) irrelevant.

Too many relatives altogether, sounds horrendous. Good luck with your future.

Some of these posts though well meaning are not exactly helpful given they’ve already bought the house and can’t sell it and move before they have to communicate to the uncle. If i were you I’d have a sit down with the uncle and have a very calm and controlled chat. Explain that though you are so appreciative of his help with buying the house that you as a family and as a couple with your husband need some space in this new house. This may be down to life as normal, trying for another baby (simply eluding to you’ll be needing some personal space) or just simply with the stress of the move etc, you and your husband just need some time to yourselves. If the uncle is a reasonable man then he’ll understand. Honestly, I’d try to have the conversation without the uncle’s wife. Just assuming ages here she may be younger and a bit more, let’s say “entitled” to live in your house as a pay back for giving you the money in the first instance. Be calm and measured and reiterate unfortunately the timing does not work. DO NOT let them in your house bc they’ll never leave or the pressure for finishing their place is off. Good luck!

OP, your husband and his family all sound like a bunch of money laundering crooks.

@DocusDiplo. Totally agree with your advice to the OP and I hope she realises just how VULNERABLE she is. The whole situation is covered with red flags.

@CannonCaboodle. I agree, dreadful situation for OP, she needs to think ahead, beyond large houses and more children

Did you complete on the house OP? Any updates?

Final update.

We are moving into our new house.
Uncle has been using a hotel for the week and will continue to do so till his house is ready.
Thanks for your advise ladies.
Hubby is a miracle worker.

But you're still overpaying? And the uncle still has decision-making power over you? Your name isn't on the Deeds?