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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel absolutely insulted by this

180 replies

MadameBee · 20/08/2020 22:55

Suggested to my ex husband that for our DDs 21st birthday we got her citizenship and passport for the country he is from.

No reply.

He decides to do it himself which is fine, I got her another gift.

Tonight she came round with the forms for me to sign. Her stepmother had filled them all in but only allowed her to bring around the last page of the form as she had filled in all DDs details.

I signed the declaration which declares any false information can result in imprisonment or a £250,000 fine.

I haven’t seen what info has been put on the form and DD asked me not to date my signature which I refused to do and dated it.

AIBU to feel this is fucking insulting (as if I had refused to sign this would have massively upset DD but did not want to sign form I haven’t seen all the info in).

That’s unreasonable isn’t it?

OP posts:
123th · 21/08/2020 07:51

I would have been less inclined to sign it once they kicked up a fuss. Just bringing the back page, okay, could put that down to just not thinking. But if they then refuse to let me see the rest alarm bells would be ringing.

AiryFairyArtyFarty · 21/08/2020 07:54

Feeling insulted is the last of your problems
You signed a legal document without reading it all & checking the information was correct
You are a fool

Notredamn · 21/08/2020 07:54

Is it too late to destroy the part you signed? You really shouldn't have done it.

SmileyClare · 21/08/2020 07:55

It's worrying. Those forms are in booklet form, never separate pages so they must have deliberately torn or cut out the last page? Confused I don't even know if this will be accepted after being tampered with.

The only obvious reason is because there is false information on the rest of the form.

NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 21/08/2020 07:56

I signed the declaration which declares any false information can result in imprisonment or a £250,000 fine.

I haven’t seen what info has been put on the form and DD asked me not to date my signature which I refused to do and dated it.
YABU to sign the declaration without knowing what information was given. That is the height of stupidity. You have just given your dd a poor lesson in how to sign contracts without reading them properly etc.

Feel as insulted as you like but you should really be kicking yourself for signing it.

FinnyStory · 21/08/2020 07:57

@SmileyClare

It's worrying. Those forms are in booklet form, never separate pages so they must have deliberately torn or cut out the last page? Confused I don't even know if this will be accepted after being tampered with.

The only obvious reason is because there is false information on the rest of the form.

Not now practically all forms are online for you to print at home, surely?
SmileyClare · 21/08/2020 07:59

Ah Good point Finny!

SimonJT · 21/08/2020 08:01

@Whenwillthisbeover

If you’re 21 and both parents are dead what happens then? I don’t believe you lose your birth right to be a citizen of that country because you don’t have parents to sign.

You may have signed a bank loan agreement .... joke ... I hope!

You have to provide death certificates.

Parental signitures are generally required as a reference to back up the applicants claims, lots of places have this as a requirement until you’re 25, some have it for life. I’m completely NC with my parents so I had to wait until I was 25 to gain British citizenship.

There is nothing particularly detailed on the form if the person already has a claim to citizenship, but signing something you haven’t read isn’t very sensible.

piscean10 · 21/08/2020 08:08

Are you even sure it was the right form? You only saw the back page, how do you know what the document was for.?

As for your 21yo daughter, she must be really dim not to know this is wrong. So she knew her father asked her to forge something and that didnt set alarm bells ringing?? You should have set her straight. She is an adult and doesnt get to bully you as well. She should have known better!

NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 21/08/2020 08:10

I am more angry that he encouraged her to forge my signature.
You should be more angry at yourself for signing it. At least your dd was sensible enough not to forge your signature.

If it were me, I would ask to see the rest of the form before it is sent off and would tell dd that, if I don't see what I have signed to be true, that I will contact the passport office and tell them of the situation.

BlusteryShowers · 21/08/2020 08:18

I don't think I would have signed it. I would have explained to DD that I've got no problem with it but it's not like a school permission slip and I need to read the full form and check for accuracy.

damnthatanxiety · 21/08/2020 08:23

Your DD quite rightly refused to forge your signature because she accepts that this is a LEGAL DOCUMENT. Point this out to her and explain that like her, you understand the implications of signing legal documents and all that was needed was for you to be given all the pages to look through. No drama. Other people's fault. Not yours

Notajogger · 21/08/2020 08:28

Why are you insulted? If it's because you think they think you're foolish enough to sign something you aren't allowed to see? They were right so you can hardly complain about that.

^This.
Insulted is an odd way to feel about it, maybe yes insulted that they think you would be stupid enough to sign it. Feeling angry at yourself would be my overriding feeling!

A 21yo shouldn't be having a tantrum and you shouldn't be fearful of that either. She needs to grow up and you need to contact her and the ex and tell them you want to see the whole form and see it be posted (if necessary). Or you'll contact the passport office.

dontdisturbmenow · 21/08/2020 08:33

Your DD is 21! The info will be stiff she will know herself, nothing scary. Surely she can check it herself.

I would have asked my DD if she was happy with the info and then sign. Unles she and you have been arrested and lied about it, you are really making a big deal of nothing.

Sounds like you are just not happy you were not involved.

dontdisturbmenow · 21/08/2020 08:35

In any case, it's likely you were signing for the full document, your DD would be responsible for that at 21, you are likely only attesting to the info on the page relating to your information.

dontdisturbmenow · 21/08/2020 08:37

Her stepmother is a manipulative bitch who always pulls shit like this and then I get accused of causing “drama”
I'm not surprised...

Is it even in language you can fully understand? Its his nationality and she's an adult, so it's her application which she should have completed herself anyway.

Lots of drama indeed!

dontdisturbmenow · 21/08/2020 08:38

In any case, it's likely you were signing for the full document
Sorry, unlikely you were attesting to the full document.

Clive222 · 21/08/2020 08:39

It’s unlikely to be accepted anyway, if it’s been filled in by one person and the signed by another, which is illegal on passport application forms. I’ve had applications turned down for this. The pens need to match and the handwriting needs to match. IF it is properly checked, it will be rejected

TheWernethWife · 21/08/2020 08:52

Your DD stropped so you signed the form. The apple really hasn't fallen far from the tree.

Candyfloss99 · 21/08/2020 09:12

You are very unreasonable not teaching your daughter that you never sign anything unless you know exactly why you are signing it and what information you are putting your name to. So what if her step mother filled it in for her, she was probably being helpful.

SoupDragon · 21/08/2020 09:18

@Clive222

It’s unlikely to be accepted anyway, if it’s been filled in by one person and the signed by another, which is illegal on passport application forms. I’ve had applications turned down for this. The pens need to match and the handwriting needs to match. IF it is properly checked, it will be rejected
The OP says that both parents have to sign it so the handwriting and pen are never going to match throughout.
ZoeTurtle · 21/08/2020 09:24

You signed it so I have no sympathy for you. What's the point doing something so stupid then whining on MN about it?

Brefugee · 21/08/2020 09:24

OK deep breath. Sent them an email and say that you are uncomfortable having signed a form that you haven't seen in its entirety.
And then suggest that you both sign each page so that there will be no come-back to either of you.

Contact a solicitor quickly and ask about signing things under emotional duress.

Original poster
MadameBee · 21/08/2020 09:38

I have now fallen out with my DD.

Sad

This women has spent the entirety of her relationship with my ex husband using my kids to play some fucked up power game with me.

OP posts:
Mix56 · 21/08/2020 09:39

If its not too late, tell them to scan the document to you, & you will sign it when you have read it.