to uninvite people from our wedding?

[holatous]

We sent out save the dates in January for our wedding next summer (less than a year now!).

Coronavirus exposed our venue to some pretty shady behaviour - refusal to refund any weddings, refusing contact, lots of publicity in the papers and court cases ahead. I don't know if the venue will remain viable by the time our wedding comes around and I am not wanting to deal with the stress. This wedding was also 5 hour drive from where we live (and majority of the party) and over more than one day as DP is the bridezilla in this scenario! It would have been fun but required a lot of planning and money and I don't think we will pull it off.

I started to think of alternative venues knowing at worst we'd lose our wedding deposit (£1.5k) but wanted to prepare. I found an amazing venue abroad that meets both our tastes. We visited recently and it was perfect, we love it. Overall it'll come in cheaper than the other wedding (including lost deposit) and would be more grand and in line with our tastes. We also get a planner etc so nothing it to be worried about by me!

The place is easy to access and return flights are £70, all our friends are jet setters. However, it is not a child-friendly wedding but neither was the one before.
Due to maximum capacity we can only have 30 people at our new venue, our original guestlist and save the dates were 50-60.

How would you 'uninvite' people? We were going to throw a party in the UK after for those that can't come.

Ummm tricky one, I guess you’ll just have to be very honest and hope not to offend.!

We uninvited mil which didn't go down well!!. Wish I i could say it was venue related..
Nah just she wasn't welcome!!.
Just send new invites with new details.

Blame coronavirus. Due the the venue being .... during the coronavirus outbreak we have had to change venues this now only allows us to invite 30 guests etc etc

Just explain you’ve had to change plans due to covid.

Although I am wondering why on Earth you’d have a wedding that was 5 hours away from where you and most of the wedding guests live

It’s kind of a non-issue. You would be crazy to plan a wedding abroad for next year given the pandemic.

Just explain it’s because of Covid, people will understand.

Don’t do what two of my male friends are currently doing and just distancing themselves from the group which I suspect is down to them needing to cut numbers and not having the balls to just tell certain people!

You may find with it not being child friendly and a flight you won't get 30 people wanting to come.

I should imagine a lot of people won't be able to attend due to work/job losses/don't feel comfortable flying due to coronavirus, etc.

It may be better to have a small wedding abroad with just immediate family and then throw a bug party for family and friends in the UK

I would acknowledge and address it though rather than just send out a new save the date and details. I think pretending it’s not happening is pretty rude.

We have had a save the date before (for an abroad wedding actually) and then never got an invite. Didn't happen anyway because of covid.

We didn't think much of it... Maybe they just wanted us to have no plans on that day so we could think about them having their wedding day? 😅

Defo blame it on covid. I reckon some people will be secretly pleased that they don't have to go.

People won't risk going next year due to pandemic, cost to people
Childcare
As pp you might not get 30 ppl attending.

Flights are expected to be high next year due to so much cut capacity

Are you in a wedding abroad kind of crowd? Unless it is a family home/location it is a bit of a social faux pax really

Or even faux pas.

It may well be that many of your current guests won’t be able to attend now that it’s abroad.

I wouldn't "uninvite" - I would formally write to all guests to cancel the wedding and let everyone know you are reviewing your options. Then a bit later I would send invites to the new wedding.

DrManhattan I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a wedding next year to be changed 🤫😅

We've had to postpone our wedding too (should have been on Saturday just gone) so I can understand the frustration.
I think if you're planning a different kind of wedding and that's as a result of Covid then it's fair to review the guest numbers and politely explain to some people that sadly you can't accommodate them anymore. I don't think you can just re-organise without mentioning it to them though so be ready to have that chat.
As a side note though, personally I would be extremely wary about organising something abroad right now - isn't that just going to be an awful lot of stress if restrictions are still in place? Are you expecting people to quarantine when they get home for example if that's a requirement at the time of the wedding?
Is it not an option to organise something small more locally to you?

It’s not ideal but tbh I think with Covid I’d be totally understanding of a couple wanting to plan a small wedding.

If you have a wedding website, or even the dreaded Facebook, it would maybe help to detail there your decision to change plans so people knew it was a case you were changing completely the “type” of wedding you were having, rather than being thoughtless.

However, I do think it’s a bit brave to book a wedding which would involve plane travel, especially internationally at the moment. With the recent quarantine of France and Spain, I’d be really hesitant to commit to booking flights as a guest.

Just explain that you've cancelled your original plans due to Covid etc - uninvite everyone.

Then re-invite your core people to the new wedding. Personally, i'd go smaller again if you're now doing a destination.

It is highly ambitious to organise a wedding overseas, not only because there is every chance you won't make it, but every chance that many of your guests will feel too uncomfortable to fly etc. It is too much to ask in the current climate op.

If you decide to go for a small wedding here, be honest. People understand that covid has ruined so many things for everyone. Just say it will be a small ceremony and the party will follow when it is safe to hold one. Choose your party carefully so you minimise hurt feelings.

This could go on for some time, so a plan B and C might be a good idea.

I would be delighted to be uninvited from the wedding I have an invite to next year.

I love the bride to bits and her DH to be, but I loathe Weddings.

People I don’t know and hours of time to kill probably in the sweltering heat and with shoes that will kill me.

Add a six hour jorney, new frock costs and two nights in a hotel and I will easily have spent £1k on something I just don’t want to go to.

I am on my knees praying that I get a ‘sorry our plans have changed’ card.

I'd be delighted to be uninvited. LOL.

But quite frankly weddings five hours away should be tiny anyway.

As RealMermaid said, start all over again and inform guests that things have changed due to the uncertainty of Covid re travel, quarantine and so on so we have to cancel, and just go to Gretna Green.

I would frame it differently and tell people that you are rearranging your wedding and will be having a reception in the U.K. which “of course they are invited to” but you will be having your formal wedding ceremony abroad and wouldn’t expect everyone to travel. I personally would be relieved not to be expected to attend a wedding abroad as I find them quite a hassle.

I would do exactly what @RealMermaid suggests.