If your a sahm

[Pinkandblue20]

If your a sahm and fully reliant on your partner for money do you cook them dinner every night ?
By reliant I mean I have to ask for money it's not in a joint account etc

No it's our money and in our joint account. We share household tasks, and child care although I'm happy to do more as I'm home more.

It's crazy to be a sahm when you aren't married. Your are very vulnerable.

It's crazy to be a sahm when you aren't married. Your are very vulnerable

I agree. It's something I've told my 2 adult children more than once. Marriage is the only thing that prevented my daughter from walking away with only £10 to her name when she left her husband. She wasn't on the deeds or mortgage of the house.

I'm not a stay at home mum but cook dinner every night anyway unless I want to eat pizza or something you can put in the oven as that's the only thing he can cook 😂

It depends on your family dynamic, if you enjoy to cook and don't mind it - why not. If you do mind or find it too stressful, just speak to your partner and see if you can find a solution?

Maybe you can also have a couple of oven meals? I'm veggie, vegan mostly and like my food to be of quite high standard. We had hello fresh for a bit and he gave it a go but he just doesn't enjoy cooking.

No. You are looking after your children and doing things round the house all day, why should you alone have to do all the cooking when you are both home in the evening as well? Evening chores should be shared.

I cook every evening because we'd die of food poisoning otherwise. We have a joint account and a card each. He has never asked me to explain any payments to him and trusts me completely.

I'm a SAHM and have a monthly allowance to spend on me, stuff I do during the week with the kids and randomly the kid's clothes. I have access to the joint account, that my OH contributes to every month from his salary, which goes into his current account initially. But that account is just for mortgage, car stuff, bills and the food shop. Not sure if that's exactly like your situation but it works for us.

My OH likes cooking so it's probably 40:60 him and me cooking, me more as he's sometimes late back from work, we eat together as a family and our kids are young, 5 and 2, so we can't always wait for him to get back and cook.

I was a sahm with my ex I’m going back many years, he used to give me housekeeping money , we had a joint account, but I couldn’t go to draw money out without his permission, that marriage ended I walked away and have been married to my second husband very happily joint account he treats me with the respect I deserve and yes I cooked meals every night

Im a SAHM i went from being the main earner to being financially dependent on DP after our third baby was born, we opened a joint account all wages go into that and i spend what i want. I cook 95% of the time and do 95% of the housework and childcare because DP works long hours. I wouldnt ask him for money and would consider him an abusive twat if he expectes me too and it would be the end of the relationship

I don't think there's anything wrong with the person who is at home doing most of the cooking, you can get it going earlier rather than wait for him to get in then start cooking. However you should not have to ask for money even if he doesn't refuse

Hi OP

I'm not a stay at home mum but am currently on maternity and essentially dependant on DP for money.

He doesn't 'expect' dinner on the table but I like to make his dinner when he comes in from work. For clarity, when he comes home he helps out with baby, such as feeding or bath and bed. There have been nights when I haven't cooked for one reason or another and it hasn't been an issue.

Here cooking is shared depending on who is feeling less flustered / more inspired! I am the SAHM and generally do all the meal planning and shopping lists, washing and putting away. Most other things are pretty evenly split to be honest. I tidy and clean throughout the day when I get a second but when DH finishes work it's 50/50. Hence why he does some of the cooking.

Money has always been in a joint account with totally equal access. Neither of us are big spenders. I do tend to run bigger purchases by him. But more in the sense of letting him know than asking permission and he does the same.

SAHM here. I cook for DH every day but mainly because we have a little who needs fed early and DH wouldn't have time to as he gets home when she needs to eat. When he worked from home it was probably about 70/30 split (I'm better at cooking 😆)

We are married with a joint bank account. Consult each other for big purchases but other than that we both have free reign of the finances and both check them regularly to keep on top of our spending. I'll tell him if he spends silly amounts and he will tell me. We work as a team.

I was the 'breadwinner' for 3 years while he was in uni and hated it, much happier now running the home and bringing up the kids, it works for us!