I don't want to visit boyfriend's mum on my own

[DaisyMcJ]

Hello,
I feel awful writing this thread as she is a lovely woman.

Boyfriend is very close with his family (ofcourse) but as in he is used to big family meals, family get togethers, family holidays, his sister is down in his parents house almost every weekend (she lives about an hour away) and he has to see her otherwise the family will wonder why not.

Whereas i'm very close to my family but in a different way. We don't have big family meals, I could go months without seeing my brother (who I love) and I wouldn't bat an eyelid, I see my grandparents a few times a year and tbh I don't really speak to any of my cousins (not badly but we just grew apart). Once a year the whole family get together on boxing day in someone's house which is lovely. I live with my parents and sister and brother and we're a close unit the 5 of us.

So basically, boyfriend works away and is away for 7 weeks. He has told me he'd be upset if I didn't go visit his parents (they live about a 25 minute drive from me) even if it was just for a cup of tea one day.
I don't mind this per say but I just feel a bit awkward (I wouldn't say i'm an awkward person, but I feel sometimes I just don't know what to say). When boyfriend's there, sometimes I still feel a bit quiet, so on my own I feel dread at going.

It probably sounds silly but I don't know how to explain the feeling. I'm 26 and his parents are in their 50s.

@LockdownDowner

If you feel that this is going to be a lasting relationship then I highly recommend building a good relationship with his family. It might feel odd but a lot of good could come out of it. I have been married twice I built a good relationship with ex MIL(17 years) and my current MIL (16 years) it wasn't easy but was definitely worth the effort.

They've barely been together a year. Spent months where they should have been socially distancing. Now is not the time for her to be trying to build a relationship with his parents.

Her relationship with them should evolve naturally in time, not be forced by him dictating that she should visit them.

The way he speaks to her really makes me think, she should be looking carefully at her future with him before worrying about people who may or may not become ILs

I’d love to know how many young men in their 20s go to visit their casual girlfriend’s parents alone to “build relationships”. None that I know.

I think most people in their 50s would cringe with embarrassment at this TBH.