Has anyone had a positive birth experience?

[PileofToss]

DH and I are currently TTC.

I’ve had a phobia of pregnancy and birth since before I can remember, not helped by the fact my only close friends who have had babies have all had really horrific experiences.

Of course I know that the end result is a baby and I shouldn’t be getting myself worked up before I’m even pregnant, but I just can’t help the constant fear.

Does anyone have any positive birth experiences they’re happy to share, or any advice?

If I do manage to get pregnant then I will speak to a professional about my issues, but just for now I’d like to hear some real examples of births which aren’t quite so gory

I had two natural births with only gas and air. I walked (for miles) in stage one of labour which helped with the contractions. Stage 2 was worse, but over very quickly - DD was two pushes 6.5 lbs and no tearing, DS was three pushes, 9 lbs and a very small tear which healed quickly. No lasting effects from either.

Ds was born in a MLU where the lights were kept low, I had my choice of music and there was a birthing pool - I don't think it could have been much better and I feel profoundly grateful to the NHS for such a positive experience.

Mine was beautiful. I went into hospital to be induced on the Friday. I was induced three times. The midwives were amazing and u had such lively chats with him.
Sunday morning my contractions started and Sunday afternoon I was taken to the delivery suite. Again the midwives were so lovely. The room had lamps and a radio. It was beautiful. I gave birth in the early hours of Monday morning. Same midwife who had been with me since mid afternoon and my husband by my side.
You can do this.

I have had 3 and all positive, practised hypobirth for all 3 too.

DC1 should have been a water birth at home, all going well until contractions stopped, had to go to hospital to get them restarted, DC born a little after we got there

DC2 born at home about an hour after mw arrived

DC3 born at home before midwife arrived - after acupuncture earlier in the day to try and evict him

All good, nice, calm, unmediated births. I had a birth plan for each one and would have had drugs etc if necessary but hypno really worked for me

Good luck

For me, labour pains were nowhere near as painful as I was lead to believe. I had very straightforward births, with a bit of gas and air (but I didn’t like it much).

Two very quick water births.
Really positive experiences.

Neither of mine were horrific. Painful, yes but nothing awful. In fact, I'd happily go through my first birthing experience again, a water birth was quite relaxing bar the small human coming out of me!

Ultimately though, try not to take all the bad experiences to heart. Women who have had a terrible experience want to talk about it, but that doesn't mean it's typical. Same goes for stories where women didn't realise they were in labour until the last hour and only took 3 gentle pushes!

When you are expecting your own, the best thing to do is talk it through with both midwife and your partner. Having a plan (even if it all goes wrong) means feeling like you have more control over the situation. I think that's the most frightening thing, the worry of having no control whilst in pain.

Yes, had a planned c section for my twins. Everyone was lovely. Felt like they were all rooting for us and it was very emotional and exciting.
Hearing the babies cry was amazing and the staff were all incredible and kind.
We hadn’t found out the sex and the surgeon took my husband over to show him so he could tell me what we had and it was a truly lovely moment

Started some mild contractions around 2pm. On and off, just cramping till about 9.30. Bit more intense, nothing too bad. 11.30 getting stronger, put TENS machine on. Napped on sofa and read a bit between contractions.

4.30am woke up DH and went to hospital. 5.05 was checked in. Still strong contractions but totally ok as long as I was standing. Was more uncomfortable when I was asked to sit on bed for some checks but midwife was brilliant and having me back up asap. At 6.30 am I was still cracking jokes with her about something or other.

Started gas and air about 7.30. About 8 was midwife shift change. I was up on bed on all fours and heard the new one behind me introduce herself and say a cheery, "That's what I like to see" when she clocked my position.

DD popped out at 8.20. Tiniest of tears requiring one single stitch. She was on the breast after 15 minutes and got it right away. Had a nice shower after a couple of hours and some lunch.

Textbook!

Yep. DD1s birth was great. I didn’t have any pain relief because I didn’t need it. Although it hurt, it wasn’t ever more than I could cope with. Labour was about 6 hours in total, I had a quick pushing stage and didn’t need any stitches. I was on such a high afterworlds. It was lovely.

Both of mine were. Both resulted in healthy babies. Labours were relatively quick, and the pain was manageable with gas and air.

Know what your options are, be flexible to change, and make sure your DH knows the options too so he can advocate for you effectively.

Mine were great - first one was an induction due to gestational diabetes. Failed to progress so had an EMCS which was no drama at all. Skin to skin on birth. Healed well, bonded brilliantly.

Second was a planned c section. Also brilliant, skin to skin, fed in the recovery room. Back on my feet the next day, no problem at all.

Have very fond memories of both my births.

ELCS here and it was everything I could have hoped for. Organised, relaxed and very straightforward. Easy recovery.

Not me (currently pregnant with my first) but my best friend. Her waters broke at home at about 7pm. She stayed at home and got some sleep in dozes until midnight when she decided she’d better go to hospital. She arrived at about 12.30 am, went straight into a delivery room and her son was born at 6am. She didn’t have any tearing, and though she wasn’t at all opposed to an epidural she found she didn’t need one. She says the pain was obviously bad, but never so bad that she thought it was more than she could handle at that time.

She and her baby were sent home at about 4pm the same day.

She says she had a lovely, positive experience which she’s very grateful for.

I would try hypnobirthing OP - I am anxious too and it has really helped me.

Yes! I went for induction after my waters broke 24 hours before with no contractions. I had a pessary, started contracting, and strapped on a TENS machine. I went from 4cm to 10cm in an hour and pushed DS out with some gas and air. 3.5 hours of labour. I did need an episiotomy as they were keen for DS to be out to avoid infection.

I've had three positive birth experiences

My labour for DC1 was long (22 hours from 5cm dilated to birth). After 16 hours on gas and air I opted for an epidural, which had not been in the birth plan but gave wonderful relief from the pain! I had an episiotomy too, but still consider it a positive experience because I felt that my choices were listened to and respected.

DC2 and DC3 were much quicker and easier with just gas and air for DC3 and no pain relief at all for DC2.

3 natural deliveries (1 long labour, 1 short labour, 1 induction but ultimately a very short active labour). No tears or grazes, no drugs, was up and about immediately with all three babies.

Turns out I'm quite good at pregnancy / labour / birthing. The kids themselves are much harder work

I had the most wonderful birth. My pregnancy was tough with extreme sickness and then Pelvic Girdle Pain from 24 weeks that rendered me housebound. I was induced at 39 weeks due to my severe PGP and the worry that baby would be too big if I went overdue as I could hardly open my legs. Safe to say I was feeling really nervous / scared for the birth as a first time mum, I had no idea what to expect.

But in all honestly I look back on my birth with amazing memories and I absolutely loved it and as soon as they placed my baby boy on me I said I would do it 100x over!

When you’re in the throws of labour, it’s like your body just takes over and you go into the zone. I purchased the Positive Birth company’s digital pack which helped me so much.

I was in labour for 14 hours but I slept through most of it as I had diamorphine (which is amaaaaazing!), I had no tearing, didn’t need any stitches and lost 250ml of blood (which is less than a can of pop!) and was up and about within an hour of giving birth.

I was on cloud 9 and honestly you feel unstoppable once you’ve given birth. And the tea and toast you get afterwards is like heaven on earth!

Trust your body, trust your baby. You’ll be fine and absolutely smash it when the time comes! Your body was MADE to birth a baby.

Good luck with TTC! X

I had planned c sections for both of mine. I had also been really scared of childbirth so did hypnobirth which really helped take away the fear. However a vaginal birth ended up not being possible due to medical reason. But the c sections were absolutely fine. Really quick. Took 45 mins. I was up the next day, healed well. Nowhere near as awful as I’d heard c section recovery was.

2 births. One water birth with gas and air, one birth on a bed with gas and air while baby was being monitored. No medical intervention required and no birth injuries. Both babies born healthy. Straight home the same day without even visiting the post natal ward

Both of mine were easy births. Both induced at term and neither were longer than 3 hours from induction to baby in my arms. The only painful(slightly) bit was the final push.....I had no pain relief as I kept waiting for it to be ‘bad enough’ to need it and luckily for me that point never came

I had a positive experience, albeit, not the one I had in my head.

I had "planned" a water birth with gas and air in the midwife led birthing centre.
I had had a very straightforward pregnancy, with my midwife saying I was "textbook"

Cut to the day labour started, I felt my first contraction around 6am, got up, had a shower, blow dried my hair and did my make up then decided to call the centre around 11:30 & they told us to go in. When we got there I was 5cm dilated (hadn't lost my plug or my waters) but my blood pressure was sky high so they told me to go upstairs to the delivery suite.
When we got upstairs, I was offered gas and air - it didn't touch the sides as far as pain relief goes, and just made me feel sick. So the midwife offered an epidural (also helps to bring down bp) and within 20 mins of agreeing, I had it in place and didn't feel a thing! I then sat watching tv, chatting to the midwives and DH until midnight, when the midwife said it was time to start pushing (she had broken my waters earlier) I pushed for an hour but DD was moving down and going back up so the recommended forceps. I agreed to the forceps and an episiotomy and DD was born at 2:02am.

So yes, it wasn't what I'd planned, and I had intervention but it was still a very positive experience and I definitely felt in control of what was happening.
I would suggest not ruling anything out - while I hoped for a water birth, I was never against any other birthing methods or pain relief (except diamorphine as it makes me very sick) and I think that helped when things were changing because I didn't have anything set in stone in my head

Both my births were planned homebirths and both were very positive experiences. The first was a little scary - he came much faster than expected for a first, so the midwives arrived as I was ready to push, the gas and air made me puke so there was no pain relief. But it all went smoothly and we didn't need to transfer to hospital even for the stitching.
The second was great, really one of the best nights/mornings of my life. It was slow and steady, the gas worked a treat and I even managed to doze in between contractions. The midwives were lovely and it felt like a little party at times! When he eventually arrived the next morning he latched on straight away, not stitches needed, we just curled up in bed for the rest of the day while DP brought me cups of tea and snacks. Blissful

I realise I was very fortunate to have such uncomplicated experiences, and many births don't go according to plan at all. But I would recommend researching different types of birth and birth rights, getting a good plan in place which covers issues of consent (for example, for dc2 I stated no internal exams so please don't even ask to do one). The midwives were fine with this and it removed a lot of stress for me. Discuss all this in detail with your birth partner and make sure they feel in a strong position to advocate for you should they need to. Being in control of your body, and the decisions that are made, will really help you to feel ok about your birthing experience.

I also found hypnobirthing preparation really helped remove a lot of the fear around what was going to happen. I have to admit it all went out the window pretty quickly in the event itself, but I'm still very glad I did it as it actually made me excited about giving birth.

Thank you all so much! I feel so much better after reading these ❤️

Two planned c sections here, and both lovely. I have horrible pregnancies and by the time it gets to the end I'm completely done in. Both elcs were very calm, non traumatic, pretty easy recoveries.

All my births have been very positive, home waterbirths. I am due in September so hoping for another. My last was under an hour from me waking up to baby in arms. It wasn't even that painful really, if you stay calm and remember to breathe then it is very manageable. Hypnobirthing is a great tool.