Has anyone had a positive birth experience?

[PileofToss]

DH and I are currently TTC.

I’ve had a phobia of pregnancy and birth since before I can remember, not helped by the fact my only close friends who have had babies have all had really horrific experiences.

Of course I know that the end result is a baby and I shouldn’t be getting myself worked up before I’m even pregnant, but I just can’t help the constant fear.

Does anyone have any positive birth experiences they’re happy to share, or any advice?

If I do manage to get pregnant then I will speak to a professional about my issues, but just for now I’d like to hear some real examples of births which aren’t quite so gory

Something which made a huge difference to me was really understanding, what was happening to my body at each stage and trying to tune into it. The lovely midwife tried to persuade me out of the pool as she thought my contractions had stopped but I knew it was just the pause before the "pushing" stage (I didn't push at all hence the quotes, in fact I did the opposite and tried to slow it down a bit too make it less quick, instinctively) if I hadn't been so confident and well informed I wouldn't have known the pause was A Thing and may have tried to get out the pool just as I was starting the next stage of labour!

After a not so good first birth I had two lovely ELCS’s. Compared to my vaginal birth they were a doddle. Quick recoveries too despite being only a year apart.

Really uncomplicated water birth just with gas and air. All quite quick waters broke 6pm contractions started 10pm. Got to birthing centre 2am baby was born at 4am.

Yes contractions in the later stages are hard work but overall a relatively easy experience: I'd go so far as to say when I look back on it I feel it was enjoyable and I'd quite look forward to doing it again if I thought a second birth would be similar

I thought I’d commented but I can’t see it, so I shall comment again.

I was phobic about birth so I had an elective Caesarian and it was wonderful. Fabulous aftercare, too. Very happy and I’d do it again!

I hope this helps rather than hinders, but even though my birth didn't happen as I thought it would i would still say I had a positive experience.

I went in at 2cm as I was in quite a lot of pain, had some pethidine and stayed in, lovely stuff.

At 7am I got to 4cm dilated and went to the delivery suite. It was spacious and comfortable and my midwife was just wonderful. My waters didn't break by themselves but did during an examination. Long story short I ended up with an emcs 13 hours later but:

The epidural was a breeze and I had a mobile one until I was in theatre so could move my legs.

Dh and I had a good old natter and chat even a couple of naps.

We had an ace student midwife who we could have a giggle with.

We required the emergency bell to be pulled twice because babys heart rate dropped - i never felt worried as everyone was very professional and calm.

Because I had a section I've got photos of ds being born which is amazing.

I was up and about 12 hours later and recovered quickly.

Just thought I'd share as even if things "go wrong" its still possible for it all to be OK.

Mine was fine - started getting contractions in the bath at about 10pm, didn't bother waking DH till my waters broke at maybe 1am, off to the hospital, labour wasn't too bad (not that much worse than the period pains I'd had as a teenager but less continuous!). I had a TENS machine, didn't get to needing gas and air by the time DD arrived at about 6am.

I'd done the NCT and also NHS antenatal classes, the breathing relaxation stuff helped quite a lot I think, and staying active for most of it - walking around etc.

I've got two kids and it was fine both times! Don't get me wrong, it's hurts like a bastard having a tiny human exit your vagina! But...lovely hospital, lovely midwives, lovely OB and I only think about it positively. I have two very beautiful, funny little people.

And I had two inductions, PPHs, and I cried at my midwife because I was desperate for a wee and I was frightened the baby would be born in the loo 😅

I am very similar in terms of fear...mine is not just pregnancy/birth but general fear of all things medical and needles!. I couldn't go inside a gp surgery for 10 years+ as I'd freak out or have a panic attack. So I do get it.

As a result of my fear kids were never really an option, then in my early 30s I met my DP who was amazing in helping me with my fears. His support, combined with a fantastic GP got me to the stage where I could at least go to the GP if I HAD to! As time ticked on we started discussing having children and I did hours of research to decide if it was something I could even consider. My personal conclusion after weighing up everything including my personal risk factors was that I would find it very tough but with the right support, and an elective c section I thought it would be possible. The reason for the section was simply about control-I'd know what was happening and when and I could put coping mechanisms in place to help me through it. For me natural birth was too unpredictable and I wouldn't have coped with things changing so quickly. I also feared the aftermath and recovery if things went awry-whereas with a section although it's not guaranteed you have a much clearer idea of likely damage/recovery in most circumstances.

We didn't have a smooth journey. Two missed miscarriages which were the most traumatic experiences I've had to go through. But last May I got my third BFP. I had lots of reassurance scans thanks to my fantastic Epas nurse and consultant and my DP came to every appointment with me. I used Ametop gel for all the needles I had to have and various other techniques to try and keep me calm.

My actual pregnancy when I look back was very good-very few problems unlike a few of my friends at my age (41 now). Thankfully my consultant fully supported my csection on mental health grounds. They arranged a tour of the theatre and recovery areas so I could see where I'd be before I actually went in to give birth.

My section went really well. I was petrified but again I used my coping strategies, and my partner was with me throughout. My surgeon even gave me a hug as I was so scared! I used the Ametop for the cannula and to numb my back in preparation for the spinal. I didn't feel any of it! The op went fine ( I did lose a fair bit of blood due to a vessel being in the way that they had to cut through but it was dealt with quickly and I just needed iron tablets and felt a bit weak because of it) and my boy was born to the music I'd chosen. He was born at 1119, and we were home by 1500 the following day. My recovery was fine-kept on top of the pain for the first few days/week with paracetamol and ibuprofen, took it very easy to allow my body to recover and it paid off. No infections, no problems and now 7.5 months after my scar is very neat and not very noticeable at all.

So for me, with my issues, a c section was absolutely the right choice and looking back I had a great pregnancy and birth. So much so that if it wasn't for our miscarriage history and my age I'd be trying for number two ASAP!

Do what you need to to prepare yourself and keep yourself calm. I never thought I'd be able to have a baby-but here I am with a Bonny wee boy snoozing on my lap!

Not me but my mum - I was born 20 minutes after she went into labour (or noticed at least).

I had a positive birth experience! I was petrified when I was pregnant and wanted to do as much as I could to prepare myself. I think it worked though because when I went into labour I wasn’t scared at all. Good luck! I did hypnobirthing too.

Two perfect water births. Both in MLU's intense and uncomfortable for a short period but never painful. I had practised hypno- birthing too. Physiological third stage both times no has and air needed but ended up smiling out when it came to the after pains. That's when I needed I needed painkillers.

I look back on mine fondly. And I was petrified! By the time I’d carried her for 8 months I couldn’t wait to get her out, whatever it took.

The labour was long and latent. By the time it had gone on for 24 hours (that was the only horrendous bit) the hospital finally took me in and a lovely maternity triage nurse gave me some glorious gas and air and popped me on the monitor. She was so understanding and told me my contractions were just as horrendous as I thought but gave me the advice to have an epidural and be induced as it didn’t look like I was getting anywhere naturally. I didn’t want an epidural but my god, it was such SWEET release.

My midwife was wonderful and we chatted through the night until I was ready to be induced and then my husband called my mum and I did it! I can’t believe it still, but after about 35 mins of hard pushing she arrived, screaming bloody murder and beautiful.

Had some internal tearing which my midwife saw to with me having little knowledge of it. If you’d told me that before, I’d have fainted! But it was a total blur.

I sent all the staff who looked after me gift cards. I felt so lucky.

Yes both my births were positive, more so my second one, as my first birth I completely lost control in contractions and I panicked but it was still positive. Second was very quick but I managed the contractions on my own without pain relief and just through breathing untill about 10 mins before I had to push, I even managed slightly to stop actively pushing when the head was crowning and only ended up with a 1st degree tear that I chose not to have stitches for.
I'd recommend realy trying breathing exercises before birth to prepare, and read as much about birth as possible. Im sure having done it before helped me but there was a 7 year gap between my two so I could realy remember much about the birth of my first but I chose to take control during my second one which helped massively