Is it just me or is everyone else's child a genius?

[Pinkmakeupbag]

Maybe I am just bitter and jealous but it seems that everyone I meet, colleagues, relatives, friends, I even see it on here. Says that their child is exceptionally bright, advanced, top of the class, excelling academically. They all also tell me their children definitely could have gone to grammar school but chose not to.

I feel I'm the only mother with perfectly average children.

@TantricTwist Congratulations on your academically gifted children as per the reports of their teachers. I’m not being passive aggressive. But why mention it on this thread where literally no one has asked? And you had to tag me even though I was quite clear I don’t give a monkeys? Have you run out of people in real life to bore, I mean tell?

Being academically gifted or "good at school" isn't all it's cracked up to be, OP.

I was one of those children - head girl, great at sports, music, top of the class, started school early, top marks in exams etc.

As an adult I'm distinctly average. Because I was a natural, I was lazy. Effort, hard graft and self motivation are really important in life, more so than A* grades if you ask me.

@trilbydoll

It probably depends who they have met as well. If you haven't encountered anyone obviously cleverer than your child you might assume they are a genius when in fact you have only met extremely dim people

Apparently if you tell your kids repeatedly they are clever they become afraid of failing and won't try anything. Whereas kids that don't identify themselves as clever will try new things and achieve more in the end.

My DD is borderline failing in every subject.

DW and I have always told her that hard work is the key to success at school and haven't told her that she's "clever".

The result? She thinks there's no point in working because she's not clever. She doesn't like to try new things or push herself because "she's not gifted". If I leave her to her own devices she will simply stop working and will fritter her time in all manner of dull ways. Despite our encouragement she genuinely hasn't connected work with achievement.

If I could rewind the clock by ten years I would have tried so much harder to nurture her self-confidence, and yes I would have told her she was "clever".

@Temp123999 I’m not sure why the constraints are the same between anonymous people on the internet though are they? There is nothing to gain or lose socially on MN is there? You can see it irritates people even online though can’t you? It’s obviously riled you a little. Why would you invite that into your child’s life in RL?

Only on Mumsnet can we have a thread questioning the sheer number of self-proclaimed genius children --and still a number of parents quite happy to confirm that their children are indeed geniuses. 😁 Not others, of course...

What DOES make me laugh is parents who are quite pleased to take credit for "raising" such bright children, when actually, it's all the luck of the draw.

Haha, I think my kid is kind of clever but all kids are because they are all bloody learning life from scratch! I would never actually say i think he's exceptionally bright as I don't think there's any such thing, everyone at their own pace and all that!

@MrsMariaReynolds how dare you suggest that bright and gifted children are not product of exceptionally superior parenting. What the hell are these parenting gurus supposed to brag about now?!?! Your supposed to be jealous don’t you know!

And ahem I’d like to add that my 9 month old can actually recite the periodic table so I’m clearly the winner.

This reminds me of the days when my DDs were in mums and tots groups and the competitive potty training. There were mums who used to boast that their darling was fully potty trained at 18 months, when in reality they were just plonking them on the potty at the appropriate time.

These mums are probably the ones who end up boasting that their child is a genius.

And ahem I’d like to add that my 9 month old can actually recite the periodic table so I’m clearly the winner.

My teeth-growing prodigy (see upthread) grew into a three-year old who impressed the shop assistant in one of those incredibly posh independent toyshops full of lovely (and extortionately expensive) wooden toys by picking up a dinosaur and saying "triceratops!" Unfortunately, he then blew it completely by picking up a cow and saying "sheep!"

But what does a genius kids actually look like?

I've not heard or read anyone say their child is a genius (except that annoying programme in channel whatever)

But should someone really not say "my child is exceptionally bright when it comes to science" when it's true?

The point of average is that most people when flattened out are.

The top footballers who get paid millions are exceptional in their sport. They are the geniuses of their sport. Perhaps many didn't get full set of GCSEs, a levels and honours degree. So below average that way.

Perhaps those determined to label their kids as average and nothing more should be more encouraging and find and foster those things your kid is above average in.

After all by the reasoning of average someone will be above and below!

@DianasLasso I mean if you want to raise a genius you’re really going to have to work harder on this. At 3 most children (on MN) would be reading Charlottes Web. In Mandarin. So really I lay the blame for his error at your feet.

@itsgettingweird I certainly don’t think there is anything wrong in encouraging your child by telling them are good at something. But like op said, it’s the number of people who are often little more than acquaintances (Or random strangers on a forum where NO ONE ASKED) who tell you their child is top of the class, could have gotten into grammar, reading at 7 years above their age. Why do they need to do this?

Where does this need for people to know come from. It’s such a small part of their child but it becomes the yard stick of their childs success and their parenting ability.

Iv heard countless parents tell me their child’s academic achievement but I’d be much more interested in them telling me whether they are inclusive at playtime, are they kind to animals, do they look after their sibling, are they funny.

I think it’s just a shame that these things are less brag worthy than how many kids little Roger is better at in English.

By all means tell your aunt at Christmas when she asks, support your child when they get good results but when Maureen tells me at the photocopier that Roger is ranked top of his class I really don’t get it.

@Keeva2017 a good reply is, 'Still no Nobel prize, you must be so disappointed'

I also have a child who isn’t going to live independently and is years behind academically. People don’t react in the same way to that information. They don’t aggressively question the accuracy of the information or try to belittle. People are weird. Neither child’s IQ is indicative of who they are or their worth.

[quote Chickenkatsu]@Keeva2017 a good reply is, 'Still no Nobel prize, you must be so disappointed'[/quote]
Perfect!

The top footballers who get paid millions are exceptional in their sport. They are the geniuses of their sport. Perhaps many didn't get full set of GCSEs, a levels and honours degree. So below average that way.

Actually it is most mainly due to the time they spend concentrating on football. This is why these footballers are unusual - www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/brainiest-footballers-revealed-students-receive-18982029

[quote Keeva2017]@DianasLasso I mean if you want to raise a genius you’re really going to have to work harder on this. At 3 most children (on MN) would be reading Charlottes Web. In Mandarin. So really I lay the blame for his error at your feet. [/quote]
True.

Mind you, DS turns out to be dyslexic, so even now, Charlotte's Web might as well be written in Mandarin for all the likelihood of him reading it! He can reliably tell the difference between a sheep and a cow now, though, so small steps...

@MrsMariaReynolds

Only on Mumsnet can we have a thread questioning the sheer number of self-proclaimed genius children --and still a number of parents quite happy to confirm that their children are indeed geniuses. 😁 Not others, of course...

What DOES make me laugh is parents who are quite pleased to take credit for "raising" such bright children, when actually, it's all the luck of the draw.

I have to disagree a bit ... It is very much reliant on luck of the draw, but there are certain types of activities that if done at the right time will enhance cognitive function later. Not 100% "how to raise a genius" things, but play ideas that are prove to work. And it is not about raising geniuses, but about enabling the best possible performance. If a kid has limited brainpower -by nature- (and let's say average), that doesn't mean these play exercises won't help him/her later on to learn easier, function a bit better...

On the declaration: I'd ask everyone to pls. show the Mensa paper - at least it is somewhat more objective than the teacher/school/parent combo :)
(even if only measuring one aspect)

@TheSunIsStillShining what are these play exercises?

Nrtft but only one of mine is a genius, admitted to MENSA at age 12 but now really struggles in life as an adult with mental health.

The others are distinctly average like me, their mother

I watched a fictional film called 'x and y ' about a young teen maths genius , but when he went on a residential course to China to learn more about his subject and enter some competitions , he discovered that he wasn't quite the genius he thought he was as everyone else were even better!
I suppose it just wanted to hi light that everyone has strengths and weaknesses.
Sometimes the ones with the clever brains just can't cope with everyday things as well. It can be a bit of a curse I would imagine!
( I still wished I were clever though)

@Chickenkatsu
I'll get back to you in about 2 weeks when my business is up and running in english. :) (atm I'm in the middle of translating and rewording to suit british public better)
What age group are you looking for/at particularly?

One key point is that during the first few years no muscle group or type of activity should be missed.
Eg: loads of people don't mind if their baby butt shuffles instead of crawling on opposite arms/legs.
The benefit of a kid crawling using opposite arms/legs is that their nervous system on both sides of their brains will develop more synchronously.

For very small babies tactile experiences are very important. For this you can easily create multiple "toys". You need many small (smaller the better) plastic bottles and fill them up with: sand, small rocks, bigger rocks, textile pieces, water, glycerine with glitter, oil with some herbs and maybe garlic,.... look around and whatever you can find can go in.
Make sure you seal it either with ducktape or gluegun.
And then use it for making noise, watching how things move in the bottle.
The other great game is to have many small sacks (I sewed mine then later used it for an advent calendar) and put hings in it. It's for slightly older children. Then they have to smell it, or put their hands in it and guess what's in it. Again, anything in the household can be used. We had a few months in the summer where I specifically put different herbs to teach my son about them. As an add-on activity we grew our own in the window + he helped me spice the dinners. Add-on 2: watch them shrink as they loose water, or try desiccating them in salt, sugar and sand. You can record the findings with pictures, and/or create their own poster about it.

@TomPinch Your post described my DD to a tee!

I really worry about her because I know she can do so much better than she is (and her teachers have said so as well) she just doesn't. She was bullied a lot in years 8 & 9, ended up with quite bad school anxiety and we spent most of year 10 (prior to corona) getting her back into her classes. She's also on the autistic spectrum and is extremely stubborn so changing her way of thinking is nigh on impossible. She's about to start her final year and she's already making noises about her English class (which is her strongest subject and the only one I'm confident she won't fail) and where is she going to go when she has a panic attack as the SEND team and support officer won't be as readily available because of the new rules.

During lockdown it was a daily battle to get her to do her work, I would spend hours on a Monday going through what was set for the week, creating a timetable that broke everything down into daily tasks she could follow so she wouldn't get overwhelmed. Some of the work she did was amazing but a lot of it was 0 effort (especially in Maths & Physics). I got her some tutors to cover maths and all 3 sciences (her weakest subjects) after 3 weeks she wanted to stop because she found the sessions awkward and having some tutoring "wasn't going to fix her mental health and stupidness"

I've done all the groundwork for colleges, looking up all the entry requirements for courses she was interested in (and doing it again when she changed her mind on what she wanted to do). When presented with the info that the course she wanted to do required a 5-5 in science her response was "well that's not happening then", despite reassuring her with some hard work it's achievable. I've signed her up for the Seneca guarantee programme, she hasn't even looked at it so far because "it's the holidays and I don't want to think about school right now".

She is just totally disengaged with school and it's sad to see because I know she could pass her GCSE's possibly even get some 5's with hard work, she just won't try. Despite all of that I would happily have her get U's in every grade if it meant her self-esteem and confidence was back to where it was when she first started in year 7.

Having a truly genius child is quite the hassle to be fair. IQ is only one form of intelligence and is kept in too high regard. It also comes with it's usual pitfalls of not experiencing hard work and grit early on, so it doesn't become a natural way of achieving things. And these kids mostly have to learn it around uni time, by when average kids have their work ethic and such sorted...

@TheSunIsStillShining
DS1 didn’t crawl and could see the effect. We took him to a play therapist who worked on these types of issues when he was about 6. Bizarrely after a couple of sessions he went through a phase of crawling it was clearly something his brain needed.