Is it just me or is everyone else's child a genius?

[Pinkmakeupbag]

Maybe I am just bitter and jealous but it seems that everyone I meet, colleagues, relatives, friends, I even see it on here. Says that their child is exceptionally bright, advanced, top of the class, excelling academically. They all also tell me their children definitely could have gone to grammar school but chose not to.

I feel I'm the only mother with perfectly average children.

I have a toddler. Myself and DH are both very academic and are teachers. My DD is 100% not a genius. She is behind in all her milestones (although always gets there about 4 months after everyone else), she just does everything she is told because she doesnt realise there is another option, and she shows no signs of genius or even decent smarts. She is bloody gorgeous though, very happy, and I have found that i am perfectly fine with her being an average kid, but many people have made comments about how funny it is that she is behind and basically isnt smart compared to her peers (mostly her cousin) when both her parents are teachers.

I think parents see their kids as a reflection of themselves, so they want to make people think the kid is a genius because they are amazing parents. Kids are what they are. Average is fine. Majority of people are average.

@BluebellsGreenbells

I once met a mother who’s daughter was exceptionally bright top of the class. Except she didn’t realize my daughter shared the same class and her daughter sat on a lower table.

Some parents will just believe anything.

I’ve met a few bright kids, but none exceptional, they all catch up and level out at some point.

I knew a guy who won a scholarship to Cambridge at 17 and got a First Class Maths degree after only two years. He's now a Professor. So no, they don't all level out eventually.

Meh, I wouldn't worry about it. My kids are good at some things and not good at other things. I wouldn't bother to compare. It won't make you happy.

(And just to be clear, when I said my daughter was ‘a bit of a genius’ earlier in the thread, I didn’t mean she’s a literal genius. She is undoubtedly gifted though, and one of those people who is extremely good at everything she undertakes. But that really isn’t the be all and end all in life, IMO. That’s not to take away from all the hard work she’s done over the years, either, as she has made huge efforts of physical and mental focus to get where she is. She’s driven and ambitious and deserves credit for her hard work. But her sibling has worked very hard too, with a completely different set of circumstances to contend with.)

There’s room for everyone in the world.

His mother was a single parent and he went to state school before assumptions are made.

Of course not everyone levels out eventually. Where does that idea come from?

There are many friends I know who speak like this and I know their children are exceptionally bright. You’ll be glad to know one of mine isn’t academically gifted at all and the other one I’ve no idea yet.

There’s no universally agreed upon definition. Where kids are concerned, though, it’s a fine line between on the one hand bigging up their self belief, “you can achieve anything you put your mind to” etc, and feeding them unrealistic bullshit on the other.

There are very few true geniuses and I would assume that knuckling down and working at jolly phonics is a sign of being one - the opposite is probably true.

True geniuses are people who see the world in a different way. I have met plenty of intelligent people working in the City but yet to meet a true genius.

“I know their children are exceptionally bright.“
People love throwing these phrases around. Fact of the matter is something like 11% of children now get 3 Grades or better at A-Level. Being “top of your class” or getting straight As means your e a high achiever academically or very studious. Good on you. It doesn’t necesssrily mean “exceptional” anything though.

i wouldn’t assume

It was always my experience that the pupils I thought were very clever, on the GIT list if it still exists, had parents who were very level headed, didn't have outrageous expectations and were supportive of their child and the school.
When the GCSE grades are awarded tomorrow I expect there'll be a lot of disappointed parents who realise that their child isn't quite the genius they thought. Are they going to be able to appeal, I've not been following the debacle too closely?

My whole extended family are straight A students, got firsts at degree. I'm an idiot alas. But I do feel the same everyone's kids a genius. Mine had a speech delay and it's affected his development. I feel it's blamed on me well even the speech therapy service seem to say it's the parents fault. Lucky I'm not competitive, someone has to be a loser for them to win.

My mum was considered a gifted child - she was given a scholarship to a private school and got straight As at O and A level (no A*s back then) and then got pregnant with average me in fresher year of University and hasn't "achieved" since. Whenever anyone says "Oh, my child is so clever" she still says "Trust me, it doesn't stop them being stupid!"

Apologies, LadyMacbeth the OP didn't say that. I would think, however, that it's implicit in her post that what she didn't want was the usual MN brag-fest.

@SimonJT

Oh. Your post made me laugh. I could see this young child doing all that!

Bless your Dc. So sweet! ❤️

My eldest son really struggles academically. It’s very hard for him - he definitely has some sort of processing disorder. I’ve honestly found it difficult. I was clever and academic and assumed my children would be as well, but he just isn’t.

I’m also quite ashamed that focusing on his lack of academic ability has meant that I have overlooked his sporting ability as that doesn’t have as much cachet to me. Thank God for his dad in that respect. It’s only just become apparent to me that he is very talented, just not where I was looking 🤷🏽‍♀️

My other dc could be bright, but are distinctly average as they are easily distracted and not particularly focused. Maybe it’ll change at secondary school but we’ll see - I’m not holding my breath.

I do feel a pang at my friends with very clever kids; I won’t lie, but you have to love and appreciate them for who they are. Being academic isn’t the be all and end all.

Most of them are full of shit. Just like them idiots who post their amazing life all over social media for the world to see, when actually it's a bloody mess.

All kids excel in different areas at different times and in different ways. I bet your kids are just lovely with "real" qualities and skills.

I've a few kids, all different, but my priority is bringing up happy, healthy, well mannered, caring, kind and compassionate human beings. If they excel at something they enjoy along the way, great.

Please don't compare to this idiots.

👆🏼👆🏼these idiots, not this idiot (even though I am a little 😉 👆🏼👆🏼

My DSs are not academic which has been hard for me to accept. They aren't gifted at sport either which is disappointing for OH.
But one is a friendly ray of sunshine and the other is quite good at reading so hopefully they'll be ok.

On mumsnet genius is very, very overused.

Many people seem to describe a child being good at something as 'genus level in xyz'. All children are good at some stuff, and not others, I don't know why genius has to come into it. True genius, i.e. einstein is exceptionally rare, and imagine the most little tarquin will end up doing is going into banking.

Also I think the parents of children with ASD tend to describe their area of hyperfocus as 'genius', when it's just an area of hyperfocus. I.e. my son is autistic but he is 'genius level' at maths, or my daughter has ASD and is 'profoundly gifted' at-reading, was reading by 2 etc. In reality these areas of high achievement are part of the autistic spectrum, and sadly don't often correlate with success. For example hyperlexia (precocious ability to read) is strongly associated with autism, and is linked to poor verbal communication and understanding of the written material.

The problem with threads like this is that you end up with loads of people trying to prove their child is ordinary and they would never brag about them.

In reality parents usually only tell people the good bits, I mean only a complete tosser would speak in a derogatory manner to others about their child.

But statements like this My friend has a genius child. Well behaved and scrupulously clean. My children are happy, funny, bright enough and slightly feral. Wouldn't trade for the world. Other kid is a total bore and total suck up, imagine the adult he will become. really, really annoy me. Maybe he is scrupulously clean and well behaved because he wants to be.

We cannot predict how children will turn out as adults. We can't even predict what they might be like next year. We can't tell if their behaviour is because of, or in spite of, the adults around them. Children are just children who are who they are 'right now'. I have worked with children for 41 years. Indeed, I am still in contact with some of them and see many more round my local area and most of them near no resemblance to the children they were.

Haha I have 4 children all avaerage to my mind . Youngest and eldest boys both seriously dyslexic . The first 3 did well in A levels and went on to get firsts at uni !!!! No idea where they got the brains youngest has 2 GCSEs no uni but a happy very friendly young man . We were surrounded by competitive parents at schools . I just wish I could meet them now lol

My kids are pretty average tbh. They both have their strengths - DD is very good at art (grades 8 and 9 most of the time) and DS is very good with computers (again grade 9s and does a lot of stuff at home). For everything else I'd be pretty pleased if they got 6's for all their GCSEs (and 5's for those they are crap at).

DD however has apparently lost interest in art since lockdown so god knows if she'll get a high mark in that now!