If you're one of those magical "put together" people...

[overweightcat]

How do you do it?

I mean people that seem to be on the ball with most parts of their life, on time 99% of the time, never forget stuff, organised, in shape, great hair that's usually down and very rarely thrown up in a bun, great skin, well suited clothes, clean house, home cooked meals 90% of the time even if you both work, young DCs who don't look like they've been dragged through a hedge backwards after 5 mins of arriving somewhere, always fairly relaxed and never too frazzled.

I know a few people / couples personally and I'm always really impressed with how they seem to have it sussed out.
Don't get me wrong I know people have issues and can go through stuff behind closed doors and some of the couples I know have gone through all sorts of hardships but they are all generally lovely and you can pop down to see them anytime and there won't be a difference between them in the comfort of their own house or in public IYKWIM?

What magic is this? Are you just on it 24/7? Or are you just very good at organisation?
Do you have tips for a wannabe like me?

Wish I knew this too OP so gonna hang out hopefully on your thread

No idea at all , but I work with a lady whose hair is perfect every single day! It's never frizzy or looks like it needs to be washed or has a wonky fringe and is just right. Her clothes are always ironed and crease free.
I knew another ' perfect ' person years ago. Never stressed, perfect house and children and liked cooking and ironing. She was another one with lovely hair. ( They always have such lovely locks. ) she had lots of friends but people were also wary as she was just so perfect in every way. It's a lot to live up to ..

I find writing a list helps me a lot these days as I have the memory of a sieve but mostly I wing it and my hair is the bane of my life unless I go to the hairdressers where it looks nice for a day or two.

I'm not one of those people, hoping to cadge your answers 😂

My SIL and BIL are like this. Even when they talk about everything they've done in a week I'm exhausted. I genuinely would have a mental breakdown. I just think some people are capable of more work than others, like some people are more capable of running marathons. It almost makes me feel bad that I'm trying for a baby with no intention of being a "perfect" parent like them.

Lots of paid or family support- frequently unseen.

Eg granny looks after kids every Saturday night so they can rest.

Gardener etc

Only one of them needs to work

I think perfect hair is just getting lucky in the genetic lottery.

People like this do normally have help but the perfect lady I knew didn't : just her and her dh and the children , but she still managed to have it all ' just so 'and the children were lovely and perfect too! It was amazing.
.. Maybe some are just born like it? They have the right genes ? ..

I'm not especially well put together fashion-wise but I'm very organised and always have the appropriate prep for every activity/thing in my bag despite a very full calendar.

Basically the key tip is to live your life an absolute minimum of two weeks ahead mentally at all times.

I am constantly thinking about what is coming up in the future and I make dumps of the things that my future self will need to hand for each activity - be that a folder of printed out tickets, an address, a picnic (the prep for that is shopping for the right food in advance), a gift etc.

Some of these things I streamline by doing them in bulk - I have a stash of things for children's birthdays, for raffle prizes and I have two duplicate epic washbags made up with duplicate toothbrushes/hairbrushes/basic makeup/flannels for everyone and additional things like mini firstaid kit, butter knife and sharp knife (with cover) so if we have a night away I just take one of those out of the cupboard and don't have to think about the 400 tiny items that I'd otherwise forget. It contains travel sized versions of all our usual toiletries - I keep the mini bottles when used and top them up from the big bottles we use from home when we get back.

We have one central paper calendar and everything goes on that. I then run a constant rolling "to do" list in a text file with actual jobs but also upcoming things to order/prep/renew for stuff on the calendar.

The other thing I am super organised about it recording - every 'thing' my son does (reading books, homeschool tasks this spring, hours put into hobby lessons/progress etc) gets listed on documents on my computer (very briefly!) so I have a log that can be printed off and handed over whenever relevant - it turns out to be usefully relevant really often now that I actually have that info at my fingertips.

OK, well I cant say my hair is perfect- its very high maintenance and it takes a lot of effort to get it looking good.

However, for me, I actually love fashion, I love make up, I love shoes and so looking good is basically fun for me. Its something i make an effort with because I enjoy doing it, I enjoy transforming myself and it makes me feel kind of....well, powerful.

I have zero family help btw- as someone mentioned above. My parents are dead and my H's parents live on a different continent so Ive never had help with childcare. Its always been me having to do everything myself. Weirdly, I feel like this has forced me to be incredibly independent and strong because ive had no choice but to do it all myself and just cope. I never had a choice so I just did. I honestly think if it hadn't been for this I wouldnt have had the courage to start my own business 2 years ago which I did from scratch and is now very successful. Sometimes I feel jealous of friends who have loads of help with everything but oddly, they often tell me they would never have the guts to do what I did so I figure its made me incredibly strong.

My other tip is: buy several rolls of plain gold wrapping paper and stick it behind a door somewhere, you can use gold wrapping paper for any situation at all and it will one day save you to be able to wrap a gift at four minutes notice.

My hair is crap, so take mine with a pinch of salt, but I am otherwise pretty on top of things. It’s a combination of a paper calendar that EVERYTHING goes on, a never ending to do list on my phone, and not sitting down as much as I would like!!

They must do the tidying, pruning, ironing etc at the expense of other things.

My colleague was like this, basically spent an absolute fortune on hair being cut every four weeks, designer/tailored clothes, expensive shoes in a variety of colours and styles, nails done all the time etc.

Had no money to buy a house with, so was perpetually renting.
Didn't have any hobbies or interests really.

apart from hair...

1. loads of TODO lists :)
2. sharing responsibility and tasks with husband
3. automate or delegate as many things as possible - robot vacuum, kid to do washing up after dinner,...

Get up earlier
I asked a put-together colleague how she did it all. The answer was she wakes up at 5:30am.

🙋 ok, out of your big long list, I can lay claim to perfect hair which is mostly always worn down, the secret being, I have naturally poker straight, fine but lots of it, hair.
I have ok skin but it looks a whole lot nicer when I wear Missha BB cream, I mean like a lot better.
Can't help much with the other stuff. I have a crappy job, average style and small cluttered house.

I bet they lean on cleaners, an ironing service, a personal trainer etc. Some people do go for a regular blow dry at the hairdresser. Also often these people have helpful husbands and/or nannies.

I have a policy of ‘handle it once’ with things. So, a bill comes in the door. I open the letter, mental check to ensure it’s accurate and there’s money in account for the direct debit, then I either shred or file the bill- if I file it, I shred the previous one that was in the file. Envelope goes into recycling bin and that’s it done, forgotten about, offloaded. It doesn’t spend a week hanging around on the counter causing clutter.

Also, for things like bookings, I either print and file immediately or I make a note in my paper calendar (which is my master calendar) for the day of the event itself, with the date I booked it and who the email was from- sometimes bookings come in from ‘boxoffice’ or ‘yourtickets’ and can be hard to retrieve.

That's the thing @Dishwashersaurous and @justanotherneighinparadise (And other PPs)

Out of the people I know there are 2 couples im pretty close with, one has a cleaner but that's about it, they both work him FT with long hours but weekends off and her 3 days a week but 12-14 hour shifts on those days which is when DCs are at nursery. They do ok financially due to their jobs (homeowners too) but apart from cleaner for a deep clean every 2 weeks they have no help as no family locally and don't have enough for personal trainer etc. I know from chatting she gets a haircut every 4-6 weeks as she has it coloured and keeps it in a long bob without too many choppy layers or anything as it's flattering that way and never takes too long to do as opposed to a super short style or v long hair which I guess is a tip in itself.

The other couple both work, I know he's ft but not sure about her since they had DCs. I'm not kidding when I say you would be completely comfortable eating off their floor with the level of clean it is - and they don't have a cleaner.
They also always seem to very subtly match with what they wear not in a very obvious matching dad and son tshirts but if you look long enough you notice that they're all ever so subtly colour coded or at least it's never parents wearing black and white and DC bright neon it's always all the same "tones".

I know two people like this in RL. One is hugely insecure and a compulsive liar.
The other couple are super organised, well turned out and their family routine is to the minute. They are also dull as fuck.
That’s just my experience. I’d love to know there are perfect people out there who are just perfect 👌

never forget stuff, organised, in shape, great hair that's usually down and very rarely thrown up in a bun, great skin, well suited clothes, clean house, home cooked meals 90% of the time even if you both work, young DCs who don't look like they've been dragged through a hedge backwards after 5 mins of arriving somewhere, always fairly relaxed and never too frazzled

At first I was like, oh yeah, mentally I'm always "put together", I'm organised, don't forget stuff, etc. but then it all seemed to moev onto image, which I don't really care about. So maybe that's why I'm put together in terms of life organisation. Because I spend very little time worrying about my hear or skin or clothes or whatever.

I have one dd who is like this. She doesn't fuss much about her appearance, but what I would say is she is a very visual, detail focused person - so she has always from young had a good eye for what suits her, she notices if there is a hair out of place, on the flip side she does somewhat agonise over making decisions or taking risks. So my guess is it is as much about that person's aesthetic sense and attention to detail as anything else - it's easy for them because it comes naturally.

The perfect mum I knew for a while was also a bit dull ! Maybe their energy is just zapped by being so organized and tidy they don't have time for anything else!

the only way I can ever be like this is either with help or by organising what I need for the following day the night before. if I'm going to an event or going out for the day I plan what I'm wearing and how i plan to do my hair and adjust accordingly. so the night before I'll straighten my hair whilst watching tv or something then I just need to go over it the following morning. I always make sure I put a wash on in the morning before work/going out. I generally tidy as I go and then deep clean one room at a time every other day. I make sure I do atleast one "me" thing a day too, as I dont get enough sleep with a young baby atm. whether that be a long bath, eating dinner by myself with a book or doing a face mask/my nails.

appreciate all of this is a lot harder if you have no help

Self care and money I've found.
The ones I know also know what's important and what isn't and although lovely people they do definitely put themselves and their little bubble first.
They don't care what you think and that in itself carries an air of grace.
They've got their priorities right.

Same as @BestZebbie here. I'm not massively trendy and am a bit overweight however. I do look quite out together though I think. Having short but fairly edgy hair helps me have a 'look' though.

I plan a long way ahead, shopping deliveries booked a month in advance then anything needed for birthday cakes or picnics or whatever gets added to relevant week. Always have a swimming kit in the back of the van for impromptu beach visits as we do that a lot (so a cossie each, a couple of hannam towels, spare plastic bag for wet stuff. Always have some bottles of water, nappies for toddler, snacks etc in back of van for 'emergencies'

Always carry Calpol sachets, plasters etc. School bags etc unpacked and checked as we get home, letters dealt with, then repacked and put in position for the morning.

Not having much clutter helps, everything has a place and people know where that is.

I have an old friend like this. She's naturally beautiful but also slim, great clothes and hair, lovely clothes, great family and good job that she loves.
She's kind, funny, interesting and genuinely one of the best people I know.

However she does have anxious/OCD tendencies and has had support for this before. She genuinely cannot relax unless everything is perfect, is a bit of a germ-o-phobe, and is careful with diet/exercise etc. So she spends quite a bit of time on 'maintenance'

I on the other hand am messy and a bit plump. I have a nice life and am pretty happy but i certainly won't win any style awards, so I think a big part of being stylish/put together is that attention to detail and time spent on hair, makeup, clothes etc