If you're one of those magical "put together" people...

[overweightcat]

How do you do it?

I mean people that seem to be on the ball with most parts of their life, on time 99% of the time, never forget stuff, organised, in shape, great hair that's usually down and very rarely thrown up in a bun, great skin, well suited clothes, clean house, home cooked meals 90% of the time even if you both work, young DCs who don't look like they've been dragged through a hedge backwards after 5 mins of arriving somewhere, always fairly relaxed and never too frazzled.

I know a few people / couples personally and I'm always really impressed with how they seem to have it sussed out.
Don't get me wrong I know people have issues and can go through stuff behind closed doors and some of the couples I know have gone through all sorts of hardships but they are all generally lovely and you can pop down to see them anytime and there won't be a difference between them in the comfort of their own house or in public IYKWIM?

What magic is this? Are you just on it 24/7? Or are you just very good at organisation?
Do you have tips for a wannabe like me?

I used to be organised like BestZebbie but DH changes plans and springs things on me so I have given up.

That's a very good point Adorabell come to think of it my sister who is very organised has an amenable DH who used to have a 9-5 job that didn't come home with him. I can keep all the underlying routines going more or less, and make plans in advance, and my DH will have made different ones and forgotten to tell me, or he will suddenly have to travel somewhere suddenly to see a client (in normal times) or he will have to work late or at weekends. We only have one teen so we can be flexible but I imagine that it would be v difficult to work around with multiple/younger DC.

Also, I think it depends a lot on how you were brought up.

My siblings and I were brought up in a very ordered, planned, routine-led household.

My DH was brought up in a rather chaotic, flexible, spontaneous home.

Tbh, I think he copes better with many situations because he has learnt to focus anywhere, can cope with the unplanned and unexpected and be flexible and adapt well to whatever is happening then and there. He finds things more difficult in other areas of life which require long term/routine input.

As others said money makes a big difference. However discipline is the biggest difference of all. disciplined people tend to be slim and on time. They also tend to get up early, make lists etc

It can be self taught but it takes hard work - I’m naturally quite lazy and have had to develop disipline

"disciplined people tend to be slim and on time."

I agree that discipline has a large part to play but people can be very disciplined in one area of life and not in another. I'm not sure it always goes across the board.

Napqueen1234 what's your make up/hair routine? What's your secret to getting ready so quickly?!

I'm fairly efficient at lots of things but getting myself looking presentable is not one of them! I invested in a Dyson Supersonic hairdryer (I have very thick, dry hair) and so I can do hair wash, make up, blow dry and style in about 40-45 minutes at an absolute push. That's basic make up though, mascara, concealer, tinted moisturiser and eyebrow make up (haven't had my eyebrows done since pre COVID!).

@tempnamechange98765 I have one of those fast drying hair towels which are BRILLIANT! So shower, jump out towel on head. Tinted moisturiser all over face. Cream blush on cheeks. Mascara. Eyebrows I get tinted but if not would fill in with powder. Make up= done.
Take hair out of towel. Blow dry straight then run straighteners over to get our frizz. On non hair wash days quick spritz of dry shampoo and brush and either leave down if ok, big headband if front is squiffy or messy bun (with bow scrunchie on top so it looks more cool than mum mess). 👌🏼

I think it’s the thick hair that adds time both to dry and style! Mines on the thin side

As a cleaner I see these 'well put together people' .I look at them and wonder why can't I be like that.

My view is that both people in the couple work well as a team. It takes two to keep everything running smoothly and of course out sourcing all the things that they can afford to, like cleaning!

I am one of those people most of the time, but when something happens to interrupt my routines then I need to let something slip.
For instance (I have a toddler in nursery and have a full time demanding job), normally my house is tidy, clean, fridge well stocked, my car is clean inside and out, my DS is clean/fed/well dressed, I shower/put make up on/do my hair every day. I have a busy diary and it's vital for me to put every appointment -private or work- in it, else I would not have a life, or probably a job! My life literally depends on it.
It all works like a clock as certain routines are now part of normal life, there is really no effort involved.

However, when something unexpected happens -illness, DS not going to nursery, work commitments taking longer than expected etc - then it all falls down like a house of cards! It drives me mental not doing things as I am used to. And as there are things I don't compromise on, it means I end up with zero time for others.

Thank you Napqueen1234! I need to get myself one of those towels!

I pay a lot of money to other people to make me look put together.

I pay for regular pedicures, waxing and LVL Lashes. I pay for expensive Aveda highlights. I pay for a weekly cleaner and a monthly gardener. I pay for expensive, quality convenience food, delivered to my door.

Because somebody else is cleaning my bathrooms and floors, etc, I can faff around plumping cushions and lighting scented candles. Because I'm not cooking an evening meal every night, I have relaxing evenings. Because I pay a professional to keep me groomed, I can faff with make up every day, and never have to worry if my feet are sandal-ready, or that my legs are hairy.

I suspect people think I’m one of those people.
If I have any secret it’s that I don’t spend too much time on any particular aspect of my life.
So I quickly choose things - clothes, decor, holidays etc to give the most bang for the buck.
Also I have no money concerns so I can choose quickly without any thoughts of price.

@HelloMissus

I suspect people think I’m one of those people. If I have any secret it’s that I don’t spend too much time on any particular aspect of my life. So I quickly choose things - clothes, decor, holidays etc to give the most bang for the buck. Also I have no money concerns so I can choose quickly without any thoughts of price.

Came here to say that exact thing.

I'm not bothered on the grooming front, but I've recently established a style based on a particular casual fit of blouse that looks very chic, with slim grey jeans or black trousers. Half a dozen of those and it doesn't matter which one I choose.

And in the rest of my life I do as little as possible. I have the same breakfast every day, basic prep the night before, minimal housework, have a cleaner, and basically try and live my everyday life as simply as I can.

I therefore just breeze through a minimal routine that I don't have to think about. I'm very good at using tiny bits of time effectively.

An ad break = time to prep veg.
Kettle on = time to load the washing machine.
Tea brewing = put on eyeliner.

I almost never spend more than ten minutes straight devoted to a menial task.

When you live like that it's easy to be unfrazzled and you get more free time.

My view is that both people in the couple work well as a team. It takes two to keep everything running smoothly and of course out sourcing all the things that they can afford to, like cleaning!

Absolutely this. We both work hard, work away often and we have two DC so if we didn't work together we'd fall apart. DH doesn't do things the exact way I do but when I'm away with work I know without needing to ask that DH will have the DC and their schoolwork sorted, the dogs and the house organised alongside home-cooked meals daily because he just gets on with it. I don't think I could have married someone sloppy; chaos just upsets me.

thecats exactly.
I look pretty chic but my outfits especially for work Run to a theme (that suits me). I used to be very into fashion but shopping isn’t time I’m willing to spend these days.
I’m well groomed but I don’t experiment much, so it’s all quick and designed to make me look great (as opposed to interesting).

@HelloMissus

thecats exactly. I look pretty chic but my outfits especially for work Run to a theme (that suits me). I used to be very into fashion but shopping isn’t time I’m willing to spend these days. I’m well groomed but I don’t experiment much, so it’s all quick and designed to make me look great (as opposed to interesting).

I do buy a fair bit of wacky fashion items, and putting together outfits for those things is super tricky cause they need the right shoe or whatever or I need to arse around with tights and belts.

A chic put together look takes mere seconds in comparison. Hell, people kept calling me glamorous in lockdown, and what was I wearing? Grey slim fit jeans and a plain black t-shirt in a neckline and sleeve style that flatters me. And sunglasses, with flat shoes.

@rvby I like your style

@SarahBellam

I have amazing hair. It’s thick and wavy and it looks like I’ve had a salon blow dry after 10 minutes with a Revlon blow dry brush thingy. There rest of the stuff I’m rubbish at, but I don’t care because my hair is so amazing.

I would feel the same way if I had good hair

Money makes it all easier to achieve all that. So money is the answer.

I need to reread this and make more notes. Now that term time is back in full swing I’m really feeling the struggle!

The times when I feel the most “together” are the times when I do things as soon as I get them e.g fill out a form as soon as it arrives. I also find that not watching any telly during the working week really gives me time, so instead of starting to watch something then it rolling into the news and a late night, I will use that time to get a shower, have a quick tidy up, prepare bag for the next day and pick out clothes and jewellery, which always makes you seem more “out together” than if you grab a what you can when you wake up! Some weeks this all slides though!!!

“Put together” that should say!

@fsklgf

never forget stuff, organised, in shape, great hair that's usually down and very rarely thrown up in a bun, great skin, well suited clothes, clean house, home cooked meals 90% of the time even if you both work, young DCs who don't look like they've been dragged through a hedge backwards after 5 mins of arriving somewhere, always fairly relaxed and never too frazzled

At first I was like, oh yeah, mentally I'm always "put together", I'm organised, don't forget stuff, etc. but then it all seemed to moev onto image, which I don't really care about. So maybe that's why I'm put together in terms of life organisation. Because I spend very little time worrying about my hear or skin or clothes or whatever.

This is me

Honestly I have known so many people like this and it is often not as it seems. I currently have a colleague who gets up every morning at 5H30 to remain on top of everything. Why? Who cares about perfect nails and hair? Have an extra hour in bed, cut a few corners, smell the bloody roses. It's not a competition.

I am one of these people. The secret is that I’m a complete control freak, probably quite hard to live with at times and I care more about things being in order than having fun... although I do try not to be like this!
I am working on it, because I realise that actually the important things in life are sometimes missed if you’re focusing on having everything tidy, being slim, fit, doing well at work, making sure everything is in its place.
Kids are nearly teenagers so I know I need to let go and be more flexible/relaxed.
Hope that helps. Everyone is different!