Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Step son allergic to cat

383 replies

CatNappers · 16/08/2020 19:14

DSS has developed an allergy to our cats (2). It's only a recent thing in the last year, he never seemed to have a problem before.

DH is determined that we are rehoming them. I don't want to.

His argument is that his son is suffering and he's not having it. Which I understand, however, my argument is that DSS is always letting them sleep on his bed!

I've said time and time again we need to keep the bedroom door closed. I've gone to buy night lights so we can close the door at night, I've said I'll wash the sheets more regularly (just do them after normal amount of time atm) and was going to go this weekend to buy a 'top sheet' which we could put over each morning and take off each night to keep the sheets underneath fresh.

However, neither DH or DSS ever remember to close the bedroom door and so every day when I go past after they've got up or DSS has been in his room, the cat goes on the bed and then DSS suffers.

I don't know what to do. It really doesn't sit right with me just getting rid of an animal we committed to having (and which I love and the kids do too) before we've actually made an effort to do something about it i.e. being vigilant with keeping the bedroom doors closed.

He's now suggested we get an insulated shed in the garden with a few cat beds, blankets etc... And see if the cats will sleep in there at night and not let them in the house anymore.

I don't want SS to be ill but at the same time I feel like no one is making any effort to help themselves and every suggestion I make is just shot down with 'we won't remember to do that' or 'it just won't work'. I feel like he just wants the easy way out which is to get rid of them.

I don't want to re-home them.

OP posts:
minicat · 20/08/2020 10:13

Has he had actual, proper allergy testing?

Mittens030869 · 20/08/2020 10:18

@ZoeTurtle They're refusing to listen to any alternative explanation, that's why. It must be the cats because they couldn't imagine ever wanting to have a cat and think no one else should either.

FWIW, I appear to have developed allergies as a result of my long-term Covid symptoms, I've never sneezed so much without a runny nose, and I have a bad chest now. I wondered whether I'd developed an allergy to cats (I have 3 and I wouldn't rehome them), but we went away on holiday and I carried on sneezing, so I've concluded that it isn't because of the cats.

Detective work is needed and an allergy test. (Although my DH has one of those and he was told he was allergic to cats, but he isn't at all, as it turned out.)

forrestgreen · 20/08/2020 10:25

I'd put a door closer on his door to start with, then adding in an antihistamine etc ending with reforming them after I'd tried everything else. Complete last resort as tbh teenagers generally drop off the visiting as their social lives get busier.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 20/08/2020 10:46

I dont understand why this is even a question. A child of your family is getting sick because of something that is in your home

And not necessarily the bloody cat!

minicat · 20/08/2020 10:47

@PinkSparklyPussyCat

I dont understand why this is even a question. A child of your family is getting sick because of something that is in your home

And not necessarily the bloody cat!

Because he hasn’t actually had any tests to see what he’s allergic to!
PinkSparklyPussyCat · 20/08/2020 10:50

@minicat I know, I was quoting a previous poster who thinks the cat is responsible. The kid needs a proper allergy test before any decision is made about rehoming the poor cat.

minicat · 20/08/2020 11:26

@PinkSparklyPussyCat whoops, sorry!

BurMaMa2 · 20/08/2020 20:21

I think that I would rather rehome the cats and myself. Your DH is not taking any notice of your efforts to keep his DS safe and comfortable, neither does he seem to have any investment in ensuring his DS shuts his door and doesn't encourage the cats into/onto his bed. How old is DSS and does he live with you permanently? Has your DH always been so rigid and uncompromising about what has to be done, whilst refusing to support you in the considerable amount of extra work you are doing to make his son more comfortable?
I'm sorry to say that DH sounds like a controlling bully.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread