To understand the first, but not the second, third, fourth...

[Sayitagainwhydontyou]

I know that lots of men only show their true nature once children are born, that abuse very commonly starts with pregnancy, and that many women are completely blindsided when their husbands become abusive/neglectful/selfish/useless/detatched after they have a baby...

I am absolutely not saying "what possessed you to have a baby with this man??"

But i am baffled by women who's partners are shit dads, who then go on to have more children with them. It just seems so hugely unfair on the kids.

I'm always amazed at the women who chose to have children, often not their first, with feckless fathers. These men already have children and have shown they don't care about them yet the second wife/partner goes on to have more with them, usually,then moaning when the father shows the same lack of care for the new kids. If a man is a crap dad to his first set of kids, he will usually be the same with the second set

In these cases you often find that the man has strung the new woman a line about his "psycho ex" who won't let him see the kids/help with the kids. He's always so sad about it and so gutted that the kids are kept from him, not sad or gutted enough to go to court to get access though or, in too many cases, to pay maintenance so that he is at least financially supporting them (and in cases where he isn't paying maintenance the new woman will usually be told it's because the Psycho Ex will only spend it on spray tans and nights out).

One of my friends knows when her ex has a new live-in girlfriend who has been told this sort of story because sooner or later she will get a Facebook message from the new girlfriend trying to appeal to her woman to woman for her ex to see the kids because he's so broken up about not having access to them especially as he's paying for them. My friend always replies that the children are exactly where her ex left them and he is now over two years late for his last access weekend where he simply stopped showing up to collect them, weirdly enough it was at the same time the maintenance stopped.

You can tell a lot about a man by how he speaks of his ex, especially if she is also the mother of his child(ren), and "psycho ex" is almost always a warning sign that you're dealing with a waster.

My xh didn't do this. He is a high class actor playing different roles in the different stories that make up his life. His exes were all nice girls who had become more like mates.

1.the sex was good
2.wanted x number of kids but wanted the children to have the same father.
3.didn't want to or had low self-esteem so didn't look for a new partner.
4. He's useless but harmless.

I'd say these are the reasons. I'd expand no. 1 to be "there are some enjoyable parts of the relationship".

It's no excuse but the urge to have children is suprisingly strong. I've thought similar when I've read threads on here where the op is in despair at how much they hate parenting, then mentions they are pregnant or worse, ttc!

From this thread it would appear that women are merely children with childlike brains who are incapable of reason and therefore cannot be held accountable for their decisions.