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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to want to leave nursing because people are so fucking rude!!!

283 replies

Rabs6 · 14/08/2020 23:05

Iv been nursing for 11 years, worked hard for my nursing degree and am currently studying for my masters. Bare minimum I do about 2hours a week of continuing learning just to keep up to date with what's going on in my field.
Im good at my job and have lots of knowledge.

The problem I have with my job isn't the pay or the hours it's the fact that about 70% of the patients I see or their families are fucking horrible!! At least every day I get spoken to like shit from at least one person I'm trying to help and I'm so sick of it!!
In what other job would you work so hard to have such little respect? And why do so many people feel its OK to use their nurse as an emotional punch bag!!!

OP posts:
TheVamoosh · 14/08/2020 23:07

I would never work in healthcare, for that reason. Could you retrain to do cosmetic injections or something? I'm not even joking. The money must be pretty good too.

1Morewineplease · 14/08/2020 23:10

My DC works in a museum.
She faces hostility daily.
I despair of people.

Iverunoutofnames · 14/08/2020 23:14

So sorry. I pride myself on trying to be pleasant to everyone (apart from telemarketers, they can fuck off). I can’t understand why all people aren’t the same, it must be exhausting!

MushMonster · 14/08/2020 23:15

I do not understand it to be honest. I would never dare to be rude to the person looking after me or my family when I am vulnerable.
You are doing a great job, please focus on the many other patients that are thankfull and appreciative of your help. I am sure those are the majority.

RoseTintedAtuin · 14/08/2020 23:15

Teachers in schools have the same issue. I tried it and walked straight back out. Nobody should have to put up with abuse in the workplace (there are exceptions on medical grounds but it sounds like you are referencing unreasonable abuse not because they can’t help it).
I couldn’t put up with it and in a caring role it must be soooo much more difficult!! You have my deepest respect and sympathy.

bambooplant · 14/08/2020 23:17

I’m so sorry you’ve had that experience :( I’m a nurse and I love my job most of the time but it can be thankless. You sound as if you’re extremely dedicated to your education, have you considered teaching nursing?

rumblingtumtum · 14/08/2020 23:18

I get it. I've been a police officer for nearly 20 years. Am now actively looking for a new job because I'm fed up of the constant shit and negativity we get from the public the media and the government. I work long hard hours to try and do my best for people in their worst times but the constant slating is very waring.

Butteredtoast55 · 14/08/2020 23:18

People are the worst, for sure, and belligerence and aggression seem to be getting worse. In terms of what other profession gets treated like this, teaching without a shadow of a doubt. If it's any consolation OP, you are much valued and appreciated by the vast majority Smile.

Rosebel · 14/08/2020 23:20

Any role that involves dealing with the public has this problem. Retail and hospitality staff get a lot of abuse along with medical staff.You are not unreasonable to want to leave and do something else. It's not nice having to face abuse daily just for doing your job.

goingtobeokay · 14/08/2020 23:21

Generally speaking the public suck. People can be awful. Can you use your nursing background in another job?

Carrotcakeforbreakfast · 14/08/2020 23:23

I'm a radiographer and I agree 100%

I have gone from being a people person to wanting to (somehow) WFH alone.

Mosseywossey · 14/08/2020 23:23

OP I sympathise with you! I am sorry you have to deal with it.
I am a teacher and have to deal with it as well and it is soul destroying. But I think health care practitioners have it worse as teachers are shielded from face to face contact mostly on a daily basis. You have to deal with patients and there family’s daily, sometimes multiple time’s a day.
Can you look for a different position within the profession?

Original poster
Rabs6 · 14/08/2020 23:23

I do try to focus on the people who appreciate my help, and some people really make your day worth it.
An I know that in health care you see people at their worst, so you allow for that, but I feel like it's getting worse.
Over lockdown iv had so much more abuse, which I no is people being scared or stressed, but I'm scared and stressed too and still manage to be nice.
I don't think I Could teach, part of the reason I study so much is I am always worried that I don't know or understand enough so I make sure I'm well read an up to date.
I'd never thought of working in the beauty industry, that might actually be something to consider.

OP posts:
ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble · 14/08/2020 23:26

Honest answer? Not at all. People suck.

It's a shame though to leave something you love and are good at because of that.

The other issue is... what other career would you go into that would limit your exposure to the public ?

Atla · 14/08/2020 23:27

Ha! I thought this was going to be about fellow staff. I had a colleague (same hospital, different ward) - quite a senior nurse - be horribly rude to me today. I was internally seething, especially as I had a student with me. But we are expected to suck it up with a smile.

I usually find the majority of patients and relatives to be fine - usually pleasant or at least polite.

OhTheRoses · 14/08/2020 23:35

That's really interesting and v sad op. From the other side of the men's the rudezt people I have come across have worked in hospitals. I have been shouted out, spoken to as though I am a moron, my cervix has been ridiculed and an in told me I was putting myself first because I wanted to bottle feed after infective mastitis. Not forgetting the A&E sister who screamed down a ward that I was obstructing my dd's care and she would call the police if I took her home after a Dr said we cd go home and the mh liaison nurse had confirmed it that was after she had lied and failed to communicate.

So, in short, sorry "lovie" "sweetheart" "darlin" because probably you don't have an actual name that I should find the courtesy to use - you know what - politeness, respect and courtesy cut both ways. And yes, I know absolutely what disrespect feels like whenever I have been near a hospital.

ginandbearit · 14/08/2020 23:39

Ex nurse here ...learnt after a while to not grin and bear it but answer back swiftly and forcefully "dont be so fucking rude " ...had a few complaints but none upheld and unless patient was drunk or psychotic and needed de escalation techniques ( which i was v good at ) the usual response was adeflated apology ...easier said than done I know but so liberating when you dont give a fuck anymore and you find you tend to get more respect .

Pinkbunny2811 · 14/08/2020 23:40

@Atla oh my word the staff across wards thing is so awful! I had an oncology nurse be rude to me once because she LOST my patient on her watch rather than calling a porter. I just thought my god I feel for your patients if you're that rude to a colleague. Mind you, staff on my ward are way worse sometimes!

Patient wise, if they're rude I just spend as little possible time as I can with them. That's 'not a target' thing is laughable.

User563420011 · 14/08/2020 23:42

OP, where ever you work you will meet arseholes.
I used to work in retail- you wouldn't believe some of the stories.
Everybody I know complains about their customers/clients
I don't now if leaving nursing is the solution, maybe a change in role to something a little bit less clinical- my sister is in nursing education now and loves it.

YorkshirePud1 · 14/08/2020 23:47

You really shouldn't have to put up with this, I agree. Sadly I think it's the same in many professions. I work for a charity giving free face to face advice and get spoken to like shit on a daily basis. A lot of the time I want to go and work in a factory or something where I don't have to deal with the general public. But then the odd few people I see are so lovely and so incredibly grateful for the work I do, it really makes it worth it. It's really hard, but I try and focus on the positive experiences so that they outweigh the bad.

Original poster
Rabs6 · 14/08/2020 23:48

I'm sorry to hear other people have the same experiences, and a bit glad so I know it's not only me!! If it helps I have soo much respect for teachers, even more so after trying to home school my kids-- hopefully people will show you some more respect after their experiences. And for the police, you guys have a truly thankless job!

Alto- I actually left my last job as the senior nurses were bullies. Luckily the team I work with are lovely and supportive.

OP posts:
Lardlizard · 14/08/2020 23:50

I think compared to a lot of job, someone being borrow it k you at least once a day is sadly not that bad, I feel for the customer service people etc of the world that basically get that all day very day

Babyroobs · 14/08/2020 23:50

It's everywhere though isn't it. My ds works in McDonalds and gets daily abuse, people throwing food around etc.
I worked as a Nurse for 30 years and rarely came across rude people, a few but certainly in the minority. What area do you work in?

Popc0rn · 14/08/2020 23:53

I'm a nurse and thinking of applying for a theatre scrub nurse job. All the patients would be asleep. No families. Bliss Grin

antwacky · 14/08/2020 23:54

I think anyone whose job involves dealing with public often have to deal with rude and obnoxious people. I've worked in retail, care, education and entertainment sectors and some people are awful. I can honestly say though I've been spoken rudely to