Aibu to want to leave nursing because people are so fucking rude!!!

[Rabs6]

Iv been nursing for 11 years, worked hard for my nursing degree and am currently studying for my masters. Bare minimum I do about 2hours a week of continuing learning just to keep up to date with what's going on in my field.
Im good at my job and have lots of knowledge.

The problem I have with my job isn't the pay or the hours it's the fact that about 70% of the patients I see or their families are fucking horrible!! At least every day I get spoken to like shit from at least one person I'm trying to help and I'm so sick of it!!
In what other job would you work so hard to have such little respect? And why do so many people feel its OK to use their nurse as an emotional punch bag!!!

I've been a nurse for 11 years as well & worked in all sorts of settings. I thought your post was going to be about staff! Because I've had some absolutely traumatic experiences with bullying & particularly management bullying. But when it comes to patients... like you WhitePumpkin I've been "kicked, punched grabbed and spat at" but I am bizarrely tolerant. I'm a mental health nurse & this is after all my client group. I know it's not a great time in their life. They're confused, demented, in pain, afraid or downright crazy. I don't mind. What I hate is taking it all on the chin and then having the bastard nurse in handover show me up deliberately in front of a team of care staff.
In response to previous posts suggesting the private sector might be less stressful. Ha! Ha! No it isn't.
In response to another post suggesting you retrain to do cosmetic work. I have explored this in detail. You need to qualify as a nurse prescriber in order to administer botox injections. Starting this sort of business is possible, but it's not something you can switch to doing overnight . I had an interesting chat with a care home deputy manager who spent thousands on botox training and was herself a nurse prescriber. She struggled to find premises to practice from & just wasn't getting customers.... so she was still working as a deputy manager in a care home.

I don't say it's impossible, but I don't think it's easy.

@Palaver1 perhaps I wasnt clear my point was that the people I'm talking about see any challenge or disagreement with their opinion as you being rude however sometimes its very necessary. I think ive only been what could be reasonably termed rude once on the occasion they sent him home with undiagnosed internal bleeding and it was borne out of desperation - I was right to be desperate for them to examine him properly. In general I usually kill them with kindness even when they are being extremely rude themselves

I’m now retired after 40+ years as a nurse and I’m glad to be out of it. In the last five years or so of my working life I experienced rudeness and aggression that I’d never known previously. To be fair it was very rarely from the patients themselves, but from relatives who knew exactly what was needed and expected me to do their bidding, regardless of whether or not I thought it to be the right thing, (what did I know after all, ‘I know my rights, I pay your wages’, etc) Also found the attitude of managers pretty lamentable, lip service paid to zero tolerance while the actual policy was to avoid complaints at all costs.i could go on..... So no OP it’s definitely not unreasonable to change careers if it’s possible for you. I’m sorry I didn’t.

@rmdbsmummy
Maybe I should try that if there is ever a need I try to stay well away if I can help it.
You are right to be your child voice only you know the needs .Sorry you have had to go through that it shouldnt be that way .

I work in the financial services sector, office based admins have done so for 13 years. I’ve received my fair share of abuse, death threats (not even joking), people telling me they hope my family are involved in fatal car accidents you name it. People are just vile. I take my hat off to you for doing the job you do! Why are people so disrespectful and even more so to those who are trying to help.... the mind boggles!

[quote Pinkbunny2811]@Atla oh my word the staff across wards thing is so awful! I had an oncology nurse be rude to me once because she LOST my patient on her watch rather than calling a porter. I just thought my god I feel for your patients if you're that rude to a colleague. Mind you, staff on my ward are way worse sometimes!

Patient wise, if they're rude I just spend as little possible time as I can with them. That's 'not a target' thing is laughable. [/quote]
I agree about other staff! Our department is lovely and I often find staff rude and miserable when I go other places in my hospital. I had an A&E sister look me up and down like a piece of sh*t when I went to get back some equipment of ours. No one was helpful. A smile costs nothing. No wonder some departments get complaints 🙄😂

Maybe you could present a less vulnerable exterior. But, by definition, your clients are going to be worried and stressed. You know the definition of your job.

I’m a nurse and I 100% agree!! Wish I’d become a veterinary nurse instead. Just come back from a year off on mat leave and either the patients have got worse or my patience has....People suck!

My mate swapped to community nursing, mainly for the hours. She loves it. People generally glad to see her and they invest more in the relationship. She did HDU before. She described it as brutal!

After 37 years of nursing I took early retirement and returned part time .. now in a non clinical role where I have on occasions seen the very worst side of some of my clinical colleagues ... however people are people in any walk of life .. be they a nurse or a sales assistant ... and whilst I have thought many a time about giving it all up to go work in a donkey sanctuary ( I don’t have one near enough to me else believe me it would have happened!) you still see life’s a*holes in any job you do that brings you into any contact with people .... nursing has put me off people for life !

Among the rudest people ever to encounter over the years have been nursing staff. So, sadly it works both ways. Maybe you are bearing the brunt of as a reaction to what patients and their relatives have themselves experienced?

Having spent much time in hospital with my daughter, I found many HCP to be utterly dismissive, and it’s horrible when you’re trapped there. I would never have been rude though.

On the other hand, when someone comes along who appears to care- I really, really appreciate them. They are the ones I will send hampers of treats in for (although I know the others will benefit too), and I’ll always send a card outlining just what made them special.

I understand that patients and their families can be rude- I imagine it’s often due to pain and stress, but I think some HCPs are expecting it and are in defensive mode before they need to be. A very frosty nurse became the loveliest person after a few days, when I had a recent operation; it was as though she expected her patients to be difficult, and was pleasantly surprised when they weren’t. That’s sad on all levels when you think about it.

@Popc0rn

'I'm a nurse and thinking of applying for a theatre scrub nurse job. All the patients would be asleep. No families'

That is a bonus however your colleagues are not😞

I am training in a hospital and the patients have been ok. The staff on thd other hand...welll....often rude and sometimes aggressive. Even a receptionist shouted at me for accidentally putting an empry milk carton in a fridge. Consultants are generally lovely though.

I can generally handle rudeness from patients. What I’ve found difficult is when relatives follow you around the ward complaining about everything that the NHS has done wrong for them or their nan. It usually happens when you are really busy too and have so much to do. I mean come on why is it my fault your GP didn’t take you seriously. I have come across unpleasant members of staff too, especially when I was a student. Fortunately everyone in my ward is lovely.

The road goes both ways unfortunately. Like others, I’ve encountered absolutely lovely nurses who have been amazing when I’ve been in pain and terrified as it was taking days to find out what was wrong with me and absolutely dreadful ones who really don’t seem to care for any of their patients and thought I should just bugger off home as I was wasting their time (I wasn’t - and needed emergency surgery to sort the issue out). Same for some doctors too. One wonders why they’re in the profession they’re in if they can’t be civil to their patients and take them seriously.

To the nurses on the thread who have been gleefully saying “come to paediatrics” as it’s great at the moment as due to Covid, only one parent can come in with the child: this attitude is indicative of all that’s bad with this situation and why people get frustrated. Really?? You’re gleeful because only one parent can accompany their sick child? Disgraceful. I despair of some people’s attitude, I really do.

Tbf glitter fairy, ward work is a lot easier with out having to deal with the emotional stress of both patients and relatives. I could never be a paediatric nurse as I wouldn’t be able to handle the emotional needs of distressed parents.

I don't blame you Rabs6 for the way you feel. Dealing with the public often means putting up with some awful people - and you shouldn't have to. The most constructive thing would be to transfer your skills to the private sector if at all possible. Could you do this? I hope you find something which helps as it would be a shame to let your training go to waste. Good luck OP.

@cms1972
100% The private sector is no way easier lol. It's a very popular misconception.

We're polite and calm in hospital and I would never be nasty to anyone , but the way a doctor spoke to my brother and I about my dad did make me so angry I had to walk outside to stop myself being rude to him. He made us feel like something he trod on and showed us little respect.
It's incidents like this that make people unhappy and less likely to be reasonable.
I'm sure the op hasn't been like this to anyone but the NHS isn't brilliant all the time and it can be frustrating dealing with hospitals HCPs and people who think they are mini gods or can talk down to people. They immediately assume everyone is
going to be rude to them I think! My mil had a terrible time in a London hospital last year with nurses that mostly didn't care a hoot about their patients on her ward. However, her G P and mental health professional were fantastic and her social worker went beyond her usual job to get her some help. Will be forever grateful to her and her team and we wrote to them and sent flowers as they were so good and understanding!
It can work both ways and we've had experience of the good and the bad.
It is sad the op is thinking of leaving her profession but not every single person are rude and entitled even if it feels that way.

I honestly think wherever you go, people will be dickheads. I don’t deal with the public or customers but my colleagues are pretty dickish!

Sympathise with you OP. I feel the same way about teaching right now- not sure if I can handle the daily abuse any more, but feel trapped as still love parts of my job and need the money and security

I didnt tolerate rudeness when I worked as a nurse, I would politely pull people up on it, but also try to listen to complaints/ issues raised as well.
However I also agree some staff are unpleasant. I worked in a clinic where the Band 7 was an obnoxious bully to both staff and patients. My complaint was ignored and I left.
Also, increasing workloads meet increasing Patient expectations. I left ward nursing because I was exhausted due to staff shortages and the workload meant I seldom got breaks. Too old to work 12.5 hour shifts like that now.

I've been a care worker for over 15 years, I had a year out working in retail & catering. The amount of ill-mannered people surprises me.

I think everyone who works in public services has these experiences. I am a teacher in a secondary school, the vast majority of pupils and parents are fine but there is always that one family who will argue about everything, see nothing that their child is doing is wrong and will be so unsupportive that you know the attitude you get from the student is exactly the same you will get from the parent. On those days I feel like why do I bother but on a good day I find my job so rewarding.