Aibu to want to leave nursing because people are so fucking rude!!!

[Rabs6]

Iv been nursing for 11 years, worked hard for my nursing degree and am currently studying for my masters. Bare minimum I do about 2hours a week of continuing learning just to keep up to date with what's going on in my field.
Im good at my job and have lots of knowledge.

The problem I have with my job isn't the pay or the hours it's the fact that about 70% of the patients I see or their families are fucking horrible!! At least every day I get spoken to like shit from at least one person I'm trying to help and I'm so sick of it!!
In what other job would you work so hard to have such little respect? And why do so many people feel its OK to use their nurse as an emotional punch bag!!!

Come and do Paediatrics! It's much better!

I think part of the problem in hospital is that the difficult patients get more attention whilst the compliant patients are ignored. And once people witness that, it has a knock on effect where they think 'well, maybe if I were a bit more demanding...'

My local hospital is so badly under resourced that they don't even have enough pillows and blankets and I remember in the postnatal ward having my pillows taken away by a midwife and given to another patient who was having a tantrum. So I got bare metal whilst she had two pillows. Fortunately one of her colleagues came along later and firmly told the other patient that she needed to accept one pillow like everyone else. But once other patients saw that being demanding got them what they wanted, it was a domino effect.

Every time I've had surgery (which is unfortunately quite a few times) I have ended up having it late in the afternoon, even when it has been scheduled for earlier, because other patients have been so obnoxious and threatened to complain, so they have taken them first. You reward for being a compliant patient, and being nice to the staff is that you get to fast from midnight the night before until 5pm, when if you shout and make demands you'll magically get your operation in the morning.

I'm still quiet and compliant, because I can't bring myself not to be, but all it has got me over the years is inadequate pain relief and having my treatment delayed.

I don’t blame you for wanting to quit, I nearly quit for the same reason over lockdown. The public are horrible, and despite the suggestions here they shouldn’t be talking to you like that even if they think you’re doing something wrong. They should follow the proper complaint channels and discuss it reasonably not fly off the handle.
I think this is why the Karen meme happened, I know the use of the name is controversial, but it is usually middle class, middle aged men and women shouting about pointless, trivial things, that they think they know best about.
I didn’t quit but I’ve vowed to step in where I see people shouting at employees. Next time I see it in a shop or anywhere I’m not staying quiet.
Oh and to the teachers... the nurses, police and people in shops etc have won this one. You aren’t the most hard done by

Sorry, my post sounded like I was criticising nurses. I'm not, 90% of the nurses I have ever dealt with have been absolutely fantastic (although I've not had such positive experiences with midwives sadly).

My criticism is for the system. For the lack of resources, for the short staffing etc. Not for the individual nurses, who are mostly lovely.

I'm NHS staff and have been for many years, think of an allied role such as x-ray and its extremely rare that patients are rude to us. We are fairly rural and I've noticed a big difference in talking to colleagues who work in cities - just my experience and speculation.

slightly different, but I took the time to email a parking officer yesterday to say thank you (I'd benefitted from a key worker parking exemption for a volunteering role). From the response back, she seemed to have taken it as a criticism - very sad.

@Atla

Ha! I thought this was going to be about fellow staff. I had a colleague (same hospital, different ward) - quite a senior nurse - be horribly rude to me today. I was internally seething, especially as I had a student with me. But we are expected to suck it up with a smile.

I usually find the majority of patients and relatives to be fine - usually pleasant or at least polite.

I was going to say this too, and im not having a bash here, everyone working in healthcare deserves a medal just for showing up especially recently, but some HCP's can be extremely rude too, and not just to each other. Patients can find themselves shoved around the healthcare system with a huge lack of information and control, with some rude comments and general ignorance/lack of professionalism to boot. This will have a knock on effect to their state of mind whilst facing illness and stress. That's how "rudeness" works, it has an ugly chain reaction effect.

I repeat, this is not all HCP's by any stretch, but it only takes a few bad apples (some people who shouldn't even be in the profession imo!)

I've seen it happen over and over, both as a HCP myself and as a patient. The only thing you can do is work twice as hard to undo the bad feeling caused by some so called colleagues. Which I get can be soul destroying in itself. But try to concentrate on the ones who really are appreciative and show it, that's what makes the job worth it for me as you don't get that sense of pride from many careers.

Of course then there are just some rude and entitled patients, but that happens in all jobs and walks of life unfortunately!

@Iverunoutofnames - a telemarketer is someone trying to earn a living too. No need to be rude.

I’ve been nursing for nearly 20years now. For the past few years I’ve worked in a clinic based setting which has saved my sanity.
Before that I predominately worked in emergency/acute care & the stress of that was phenomenal. From the patients- I’ve been called all sorts,whacked over the head when I was putting on someone’s slippers, bitten by a pissed man & the proverbial “can I have a coffee” from someone whilst you’re mid resus on someone else.
Also from other staff, the NHS has a big problem with staff bullying which it won’t acknowledge.
I really like what I do now- I’m autonomous, I have a lot of involvement with consultants,anaesthetists and that in itself seems to command more respect.
I’m not working weekends,nights etc anymore and it’s made realise how exhausted I was- 12/13 hour shifts are killers. The patients I see now are mostly lovely as are my colleagues and it’s restored my faith in human nature.
What sort of nursing do you do? Maybe look at moving into a different area. Think hard before letting your registration lapse. I know people who’ve done that & then regretted it. The ‘Back to Practice’ is supposed to be a bit of a nightmare.

@Milssofadoesntreallyfit

I can completely understand anyone working in healthcare being fed up after a day of rude or difficult patients so not being in the best mood.

But I think it's unfair to be sarcastic to someone for asking a 'seemingly obvious' (to you) question. That's just someone who doesn't know the system. I remember being told off for asking where the bedsheets were kept in maternity ward. I didn't deserve that just for politely asking!

[quote luckylavender]@Iverunoutofnames - a telemarketer is someone trying to earn a living too. No need to be rude. [/quote]
A telemarketer is someone trying to earn a living by unethical means. It might be legal but it's bullying people into buying a service that they didn't ask for.

It's not the same as other jobs at all.

I'm a GP receptionist. So people approach us with the preconception that we are going to put barriers in their way. The opposite is true. I go out of my way to help people. I make sure things are done, I rush things through if it's urgent. I call back to check they are happy / picked up their meds etc.
I've dropped things to their house if they can't make it to surgery. I call my work (yesterday on a Friday night!) To check things have been done so they don't go without what they need.

Yet still get utter rudeness from the off.

I think @isabellerossignol is right.

The reality is that it’s those who are more demanding that actually get what they need (or sometimes just want because yes, some of those requests ARE unreasonable).
It’s true in a hospital or with GPs etc...

And going with that is the fact that being rude is what people/nurses/doctors get because most people do not know how to be assertive rather than demanding.

A telemarketer is someone trying to earn a living by unethical means. It might be legal but it's bullying people into buying a service that they didn't ask for.

It's not the same as other jobs at all.

But the people doing that job probably have no other choice than doing that. I very much doubt that anyone is ever dreaming to become a telemarketer!!
People are people and deserve the same respect imo.

I specifically said telemarketers because the same fucking companies won’t leave us alone. I don’t want washing machine insurance!

But the people doing that job probably have no other choice than doing that. I very much doubt that anyone is ever dreaming to become a telemarketer!!
People are people and deserve the same respect imo

That's where we differ. I don't feel the need to respect people who exploit those who are weaker than them. Telemarketers bullied my mentally ill relative into taking on debt that she couldn't afford, and telemarketers put my terminally ill father at risk repeatedly by ringing when they had been asked not to (TPS registered for years) and then in his confusion he was trying to get out of his seat to answer the phone and kept falling. But hey, fuck the vulnerable and elderly, at least someone has a job eh?

@Toddlerteaplease

Come and do Paediatrics! It's much better!

It’s the parents!

@Burton94

I don’t blame you for wanting to quit, I nearly quit for the same reason over lockdown. The public are horrible, and despite the suggestions here they shouldn’t be talking to you like that even if they think you’re doing something wrong. They should follow the proper complaint channels and discuss it reasonably not fly off the handle. I think this is why the Karen meme happened, I know the use of the name is controversial, but it is usually middle class, middle aged men and women shouting about pointless, trivial things, that they think they know best about. I didn’t quit but I’ve vowed to step in where I see people shouting at employees. Next time I see it in a shop or anywhere I’m not staying quiet. Oh and to the teachers... the nurses, police and people in shops etc have won this one. You aren’t the most hard done by

I was reading your post and totally agreeing with you until your last sentence. Why did you feel the need to get a dig in at teachers?

@Bassettgirl

When I mean obvious, I mean obvious.

I have had signs up giving information that they cant do xy&z, with an explanation, plus leaflets. All located in very common areas, people would read then and look at them and then ask if they could do xw&z and then when told no, why not.

It was obvious, it was nothing to do with people not knowing systems.

It was also 90% of the customers to, we did everything we could to make it as obvious as possible. The information never got put back up after maintenance work as we thought it pointless as even when read they took no notice and asked anyway.

Funny thing is that when the signs werent put back up, guess what everyone suggested? Maybe you should put up signs so people dont need to ask!!!
They were all told we did have, for 6 months, they were shown where the signs were put, shown the signs and told that people read them, ignored them and asked anyway. They were also told the the signs were up when they previously asked about it to.

When you make something this obvious and many read it and ask anyway then suggest signs put up, its very difficult to explain the above to them with out sounding sarcastic because it then becomes very clear that its them who have not paid any attention at all despite the organisations best efforts.

I made an A&E nurse cry once.

I thanked her profusely for being amazingly gentle while she painstakingly removed every bit of gravel from my grazed leg and being so patient, and her eyes just filled with tears. She said it was the first nice thing anyone had said to her all day, and she was already 7 hours into her shift.

(Should perhaps add, I hadn't gone to A&E because of a grazed leg, I'd broken my arm as well!)

I have worked in various shops and people are arseholes.

I worked in the police - people also arseholes but i understood it more in that job because it almost comes with the uniform that you’re going to get abuse

I rate you for sticking it out that long, I don’t understand how people can be shitty to health care staff they are helping I know people are scared sometimes and I get that, makes me very sad that people can’t be respectful.

You get good and bad in ALL jobs and people.

What about all the rude nurses that we have to deal with? And there’s so many of them! But there’s also so many lovely ones too.

People in many jobs have to deal with stressed out and angry customers.....

It goes both ways unfortunately.

And everyone is feeling shit because of coronavirus!

@Teal99

I don't know about nursing etc but have you considered nursing in the private health care sector? Assuming it is not against your principles, but perhaps it might be better? Less pressure, better environment- the patients might be less stressed.

Because wealthy people are well-known for their laid back unentitled approach. Sure

I’ve been an AHP for many years. Some people are just horrible now. It’s often families rather than the person we are seeing, often men. They can be really nasty. The problem is the 2/3 people that are nasty negate the 200 odd people that are lovely. I know what you mean about wanting to leave because I’m tired of it too.

Want to get an outcome that is safe for your demented mother? Don’t like what the professional has said? Email everyone and report them to the registered body! If this keeps going then all the good ones will leave.

Isn’t safe, I mean!