Aibu to want to leave nursing because people are so fucking rude!!!

[Rabs6]

Iv been nursing for 11 years, worked hard for my nursing degree and am currently studying for my masters. Bare minimum I do about 2hours a week of continuing learning just to keep up to date with what's going on in my field.
Im good at my job and have lots of knowledge.

The problem I have with my job isn't the pay or the hours it's the fact that about 70% of the patients I see or their families are fucking horrible!! At least every day I get spoken to like shit from at least one person I'm trying to help and I'm so sick of it!!
In what other job would you work so hard to have such little respect? And why do so many people feel its OK to use their nurse as an emotional punch bag!!!

OP I don't know how you do what you do, but thank you. I'm sorry that so many people are so horrible. I don't know what has happened to society and its sense of entitlement.

@Mosseywossey Do you teach in the UK?

@WalkingInTheAir13 glad you asked that! I asked her if she taught in the U.K. i had to read and re-read her comment!

Try not to take it to heart...people in general are shit. I dream of working from home but here I am, an ex teacher, training in healthcare!
Repeat the mantra...they are sick....they cannot help it. Even if f not true!!

Op, I'm delighted that you're getting so much support and solidarity on here, in general.

I'm in Medical Imaging and managed to get myself into a far less patient facing position as an alternative to walking out, 3 or so years ago.

We were on our knees, exhausted and sick to death of the endless political and media molesting we were getting, the endless red top tabloid 'NHS killed gran!' Screaming headlines.

We had been witnessing a definite deterioration of The Public's behaviour towards us, pretty much from when the Tories succeeded in blaming public sector pensions for the financial crash in '08. Plenty on MN went along with that- but things were getting worse, our managers were yet more inept, people were leaving left, right and centre. So patients were waiting ever longer for diagnostic tests, which was somehow our fault!

I vented my frustration on here, and, while I got a lot of support, I was also called 'vile' for not accepting that a 'worried patient' had every right to yell abuse at us; I was evidently unfit for the job. Someone with cactus in their username was particularly vicious.

That was the last straw. I quit my frontline job. The NHS lost 30 years of experience (and zero upheld complaints!).

So please stay in nursing!

FTR I have never been anything other than polite to teachers, air stewards, shop assistants, call centre workers. Even when a minuscule minority haven't been so polite back!

Sorry I don't have anything valuable to add to this I just want to say I cannot ever imagine being rude to a healthcare professional. Be it a nurse, a doctor or a healthcare support worker.

I don't understand why people are rude and how they can, with good conscience, be rude to the people saving their life.

I think there are good and bad patients and nurses.

I was recently in hospital at the height of the pandemic after suffering my first seizure. The nurse dealing with me on the ward was gorgeous. So kind. I was worried about covid and catching it in hospital and she was so understanding and helpful. Come shift change her replacement was the complete opposite. Everytime she walked past my bed I acknowledged her with a smile and she just looked at me like I was a peice of shit. When she came to do my observations she didn't utter a word. I didn't say anything to her as I'd already realised from her behaviour that she had an unfortunate personality.

People are rude to HCPs because they know there'll be no repercussions.

A colleague of mine recently had a metal clipboard thrown at her, nicking her skin on her chest, by a posh MC, middle aged female patient who was late for a screening test, and hadn't done the paperwork, when asked to do so by my colleague.

My colleague brought up her arm to defend herself.

The patient wrote a formal complaint ('she raised her arm to me!'- no mention of the flung clipboard) which would have got my colleague sacked. Senior management were just about to do that when a written witness statement corroborated when my colleague said.

But my colleague was initially told she had to write an apology to the patient, before the union put a stop to that 😳 but she had to write a 'reflective statement'.

Meanwhile the patient got an apology off the manager and the assurance that all of her further screening would occur on site, not in a van.

This is why patients do it. Because they get away with it.

Oh @Rabs6 bless you for your work. I hate to think people are nasty to you, how dare they when they are being looked after. I meet nurses through work and I have always been amazed how kind and caring they are, despite who they are treating.

I wish you could have better pay, don't give up, it will get better hopefully

This is why I teach online now.
Don't have to put up with rudeness. The mute button is excellent,
I feel for you op. What is wrong with people!

YANBU - the public are vile

I was in hospital once overnight and was horrified how rude a female patient was to a HCP or nurse because she mispronounced her name or something very minor

@OhTheRoses Get a grip with your boring, repetitive and predictable NHS bashing. Move the hell on.

This is why patients do it. Because they get away with it.

Or even worse, they are rewarded for it

@Popc0rn I also found that because the staff in theatres have minimal patient interaction, some of them are incredibly rude to each other and unprofessional generally, but maybe that was just the two hospitals I worked in, who knows.

Much happier in the community, the small team I am in on nights are brilliant and support each other, being OOH also if there ever is a 'difficult' patient or family then ours is often just a one off visit anyway, which makes it easier to deal with.

Gypsywater. I am merely stating the facts as I have found them; as have many others on the thread.

May I ask, did you actually mean to be so rude or do you simply have a shortfall of manners? Serious question actually.

And no, I won't move on because the systemic and structural issues within the NHS need to change and that is something that resources alone won't resolve.

@OhTheRoses I think you are genuinely obsessed with your issues around the NHS. Its unhealthy. Literally any NHS related post, and there you are.

@OhTheRoses Also, if you wish to discuss "manners", consider your approach to an OP who is clearly very upset...

"May I ask, did you actually mean to be so rude or do you simply have a shortfall of manners?"

ohtheroses, peak MN! 😂😂😂.

(And you are all over any NHS thread banging your drum, a bit...)

@Livpool

YANBU - the public are vile

This perfectly sums everything up.

I'm so sorry that you feel so crappy about your job. I teach and it's never the students that reduce me to tears with their behaviour, it's always been the shitty parents. I hope that the nice messages on this thread stay with you rather than the nasty ones that give every nurse rubbish qualities. Thank you for putting up with idiots in order to do your job.

These threads are also really interesting - it's always people with the worst possible experiences that post (near death, constant pain I always wonder how many are true). I spent two years in and out of various hospital departments to deal with chronic pain. I came across one bad egg and that was a locum doctor. Every other hospital worker was fantastic and dealing with difficult circumstances in overcrowded and overly busy hospitals.

Well I am (nearly!) always appreciative of medical care received, so there are patients who are not rude.

I have very rarely met a rude nurse or doctor, so it can work both ways.

This happens in a lot of jobs. Once a day is quite good in my opinion.

@gypsywater an op who has accused ALL patients of being rude and who is so well mannered has also used "fucking" in the title of the thread. Neither signify an educated or a well mannered professional.

I can't imagine I'm on every thread about the NHS as except for weekends I'm rarely around after 7.30am and before 8pm.

Regrettably I have experienced and witnessed shocking behaviour from nurses, less so from doctors. I have also experienced good care and make a point of noting it when it occurs.

There is an interesting comparison to be drawn between Continental Europe and the UK and sadly it doesn't favour the UK.

In private hospitals my experience is that Drs are much more polite (to the patient at least) and nurses whilst more polite than on the NHS not as polite as doctors and other support staff. It leads me to believe something has been lost in the training and I think it's the skill of genuine nursing.

If someone speaks to me harshly or gives inaccurate information or withholds information, I will call it out, invariably politely.

In what other job would you work so hard to have such little respect?

Veterinary nursing, or worse veterinary receptionist. People seem to think because they're paying for a service they can speak to you like shit. Never to the vets though, especially the male vets, they save it all up for the staff out front who happen to be mostly female