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Original poster

Husband invited work colleague and son to stay

768 replies

Delatron · 14/08/2020 20:41

Just got back from holiday. Am knackered and have a mountain of washing to do. I’m working in the morning. DH has said his work colleague and son are flying back from a local airport and she’s asked if they can see us for dinner and stay over tomorrow. So one day’s notice. Then get up bloody early on Sunday to get their flight, wake us all up on the only day I get a lie in.

I mean how cheeky is this? DH has said yes. I’ve told him he can do all the beds/towels and cooking but I’m furious my chilled weekend has been taken away. He says he is just being kind and I’m so ‘hostile’.

Also the coronavirus risk? I’ve only had my parents overnight. Nobody else. We have no idea where they’ve been and whether they have been social distancing. They are not even close friends!

So am I being unfriendly and hostile?

OP posts:
Alwaysinpain · 14/08/2020 21:24

@Delatron

Gah I think it’s really rude to invite yourself round for dinner and an overnight stay 🤷🏼‍♀️

Their flight is quite early actually so that may be a non issue. But I’m the rude one round here!

It is!!! The absolute cheek of them! I wouldn't dare! Tell DH to cancel or go off to a hotel
GeorginaTheGiant · 14/08/2020 21:26

I bloody hate this when men do something, usually for a woman, because they’re so ‘nice’ while completely overlooking the fact that in the process they are being the opposite of nice To their own wife....um, whose opinion of him should matter more?!

Why on earth would the OP be happy about having random people to stay for her supposedly relaxing weekend, when we’re in the middle of a global pandemic and she hasn’t even had close friends and relatives staying?!

Not unreasonable OP, not at all.

Alwaysinpain · 14/08/2020 21:26

@Horehound

It's not rude really. It's quite a normal thing to do and usually people like to help others out.

Yes, you are rude.

Are you having a laugh?! They invited themselves to stay at a colleagues house (not even a friend - a colleague!) the day after they get back from a holiday they KNEW they had just been on HmmHmmHmm
museumum · 14/08/2020 21:26

People saying they need to quarantine coming in from Ireland is that true? Really??? I don’t know how I missed that Shock

WatchoutfortheROUS · 14/08/2020 21:28

I don't understand your DH and pp point of view..... so the priority is being kind to a random colleague but not being considerate of your wife's views/wishes? There's nothing kind about that, it's just wanting to act kind to outsiders but not those you're meant to love most?

I'm not keen on overnight guests either, but do have family and close friends to stay, but definitely not colleagues, and definitely not when we're just back from holiday and there's a pandemic going on.

I'd take him up on his offer of cancelling and thank him for listening to your objections and putting you first Smile

Original poster
Delatron · 14/08/2020 21:29

Well we are in the middle of a global pandemic and I’ve only just seen my parents after 5 months. So it’s a bit frustrating that our first guests are his work colleague. Not friends that we haven’t seen for months either.

I have no idea where they have been visiting or how careful they have been.

I am taking on board the responses but I do think those who are more relaxed about this are the sociable\love having guests over type. So don’t mind the hard work that goes in to it.

I really hate having overnight guests. I don’t think that makes me unkind! Happy to cook dinner and host in that way.

OP posts:
HooseDilemma · 14/08/2020 21:29

But they didn't invite themselves! OP said they were going to get a hotel and meet up for dinner. OP's husband invited them to stay. They're not being cheeky by accepting an invitation! (An invitation that they believe comes from the household)

InDeoEstMeaFiducia · 14/08/2020 21:30

@museumum

People saying they need to quarantine coming in from Ireland is that true? Really??? I don’t know how I missed that Shock
They came to Ireland from the US 'about a week ago'. Our rules are that anyone coming from the UK needs to quarantine for two weeks.
Original poster
Delatron · 14/08/2020 21:31

Thanks guys. @Horehound how have I been rude?

I wouldn’t dream of inviting myself round to stay at someone’s house plus dinner for me and my child! With one day’s notice! Yet somehow I’m the rude one?

OP posts:
WatchoutfortheROUS · 14/08/2020 21:31

Ps everyone is different, and if you don't like overnight guests and don't want these particular ones this weekend then that is ok. It's not rude. Or selfish. It's just how you feel. Your DH should have run it past you first so it's up to him to politely cancel.

WitchenKitch · 14/08/2020 21:32

But OP, you said
"she did say she would stay in a hotel and see us for dinner but he wanted to be nice and offer them a place to stay"
She didn't invite herself!
You are being unreasonable, come on.

MusicWithRocksIn1t · 14/08/2020 21:34

I'd be sending 'D'H to stay in a hotel with them. I'm not keen on overnight guests unless they are people im totally comfortable with but mostly because of the extra work and already exhausted with small kids.
Its really not on inviting people to stay without asking your spouse at the best of times and completely ridiculous and dangerous during a pandemic.

AgileLass · 14/08/2020 21:35

They came to Ireland from the US 'about a week ago'. Our rules are that anyone coming from the UK needs to quarantine for two weeks.

The OP is in the U.K. - close to Heathrow - and no, no quarantine is required if travelling from Ireland to GB.

Original poster
Delatron · 14/08/2020 21:35

She asked to stay last week. But we were away.

I’ll have to find out what her exact message was. DH said ‘we can’t have her staying in a hotel’. So unclear of the exact conversation.

It’s the second time she’s asked to stay..

OP posts:
Horehound · 14/08/2020 21:36

The colleague can ask, that's not rude. Your husband agreed.
You're just being very childish and really quite brash and unaccommodating.
It's one night and they are leaving early, hardly a big deal.
I cannot imagine being so put out at someone asking for help to make their lives easier for one night...

Lighten up!

Horehound · 14/08/2020 21:36

@Delatron

She asked to stay last week. But we were away.

I’ll have to find out what her exact message was. DH said ‘we can’t have her staying in a hotel’. So unclear of the exact conversation.

It’s the second time she’s asked to stay..

So?!
Horehound · 14/08/2020 21:38

You are being really precious about "first guests"

I used to reel out these excuses just so I could get my own way. Looking back, it was really pathetic of me.

Namechange2020onceagain · 14/08/2020 21:38

She is a CF for asking to stay. Clearly she is looking for cheap accommodation. I would get you DH to cancel. You don't know where she has been.

Do you think he would have offered if it was a male colleague?

Original poster
Delatron · 14/08/2020 21:39

Well @Horehound you appear to be in the minority.

I haven’t actually done anything ‘rude’ yet. Not sure how I am being childish? As it stands they are arriving tomorrow and staying for dinner and overnight. In the middle of a global pandemic. When I haven’t seen many of my friends for months. But yes I’m being very rude.

I don’t think I would ever invite myself to a work colleagues house for dinner and an overnight stay. I guess we all have different ideas on what good manners are.

OP posts:
InDeoEstMeaFiducia · 14/08/2020 21:41

@AgileLass

They came to Ireland from the US 'about a week ago'. Our rules are that anyone coming from the UK needs to quarantine for two weeks.

The OP is in the U.K. - close to Heathrow - and no, no quarantine is required if travelling from Ireland to GB.

And yes, they do ask you if you travelled from some place else, especially when you open your mouth and speak with an American accent, and yes, if you say you've been in the US in the past 2 weeks, you need to quarantine. We landed ourselves a little over 2 weeks ago. You also have to complete questionnaires for each member of your party.
Original poster
Delatron · 14/08/2020 21:41

I think everyone on this thread agrees with you @Horehound!

OP posts:
InDeoEstMeaFiducia · 14/08/2020 21:41

@Delatron

Well *@Horehound* you appear to be in the minority.

I haven’t actually done anything ‘rude’ yet. Not sure how I am being childish? As it stands they are arriving tomorrow and staying for dinner and overnight. In the middle of a global pandemic. When I haven’t seen many of my friends for months. But yes I’m being very rude.

I don’t think I would ever invite myself to a work colleagues house for dinner and an overnight stay. I guess we all have different ideas on what good manners are.

Tell him to politely cancel. They haven't quarantined properly.
Horehound · 14/08/2020 21:42

It doesn't matter if I'm in the minority really.. seems like there's a lot of selfish, unaccommodating people out there. Quite sad really.

As it's already been said, she didn't invite herself your husband offered. And it is only a question, it's hardly a big deal if she did ask.
I don't get what the problem is.

As I said, it's nice to be nice. I can't imagine being so hostile

goingtotown · 14/08/2020 21:43

She’s got a cheek asking your DH. It’s not convenient tell him to cancel.

Original poster
Delatron · 14/08/2020 21:43

She did invite herself. And her child.

OP posts:
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