Husband invited work colleague and son to stay

[Delatron]

Just got back from holiday. Am knackered and have a mountain of washing to do. I’m working in the morning. DH has said his work colleague and son are flying back from a local airport and she’s asked if they can see us for dinner and stay over tomorrow. So one day’s notice. Then get up bloody early on Sunday to get their flight, wake us all up on the only day I get a lie in.

I mean how cheeky is this? DH has said yes. I’ve told him he can do all the beds/towels and cooking but I’m furious my chilled weekend has been taken away. He says he is just being kind and I’m so ‘hostile’.

Also the coronavirus risk? I’ve only had my parents overnight. Nobody else. We have no idea where they’ve been and whether they have been social distancing. They are not even close friends!

So am I being unfriendly and hostile?

Yanbu at all and bloody well done for standing your ground. My mum us of the "more the merrier" people coming round, staying over at the drop of a hat type. I'm the complete opposite. This would have really pissed me off, even the inviting for dinner, especially in a bloody pandemic, and having just returned from holiday.

Phew Well done OP.

This is the thing, they say they will do everything but they don't and it wouldn't be the same standard of cleanliness. Probably a but of a crappy meal and it would be embarrassing, so you feel obliged to take over and do it properly.

Enjoy your weekend lie in and good luck with the washing mountain.

This is really odd to me, I would let them stay without a moment’s hesitation. It’s not really putting you out too much, and I like having people around. Why not do someone a favour, make their life a bit easier? Nonsense that they should quarantine coming from Ireland to the UK, it’s the other way round that that applies.

Yes op parents fine and indeed seemingly these guests with social distancing. Apols it’s late and I really have lost the plot on cv regs and changes and am still in generally lockdown headspace so far as my living space is concerned.

How many other households has the colleague stayed with?
Who have those households been mixing with?
Who have the people on the plane that travelled from the US about a week ago been mixing with?

This is how it spreads. What is wrong with the people saying the OP is bu. There is a global pandemic.

Sorry to butt in again, but honestly who would stay in someone else's house these days or any days for that matter with a straight face.

No from me.

OP / can you stop saying 'WErE iN tHe MiDDLe oF a GloBaL PaNdEMiC'

we fucking know.

Come down with a temperature overnight and start coughing. Soz - they can't stay. I've got symptoms and we all need to isolate

Just heard on the news. "Don`t meet indoors with anyone you do not live with" I think that is pretty clear. OP your husband is stupid.

www.gov.uk/guidance/meeting-people-from-outside-your-household-from-4-july

Thanks all. I’ve gone back to explain to him and he insists there is no risk and that I don’t want them over ‘because I hate having people to stay’

I said we know they have been travelling all over and visiting family and friends but apparently he thinks there is no risk and it’s just me being unfriendly. He just wants to do something nice. He says we will talk about it in the morning. That pissed me off as he clearly isn’t listening and thinks I’ll change my mind.

@MadameMeursault

This is really odd to me, I would let them stay without a moment’s hesitation. It’s not really putting you out too much, and I like having people around. Why not do someone a favour, make their life a bit easier? Nonsense that they should quarantine coming from Ireland to the UK, it’s the other way round that that applies.

You missed the part that they came from the US to Ireland, where they stayed for 'a week or so' going round visiting people. I can assure you that it sure isn't nonsense to the staff at border control when you land and have told the truth that you've been in a hotspot country within the past 2 weeks, not even touching on the guidance involving bubbles and mixing households indoors. But hey, why not break government policy/law and expose yourself and your family to a virus?

He wants to wait until the morning because it will be ‘too late’ to cancel.

Ooh.... red rag, will talk about it in the morning, I would not be simmering on that all night. Would be packing a suitcase, put it all over FB the comments would back you up and embarrass the hell out of him.

@Delatron

He does keep saying in a cross voice ‘well I’ll just cancel them shall I and tell them they they can’t come?’

Then I’m the bad guy as he just wants to do something nice and I’m so horrible and hostile.

I would say "yes". Might make him think twice before doing such a thoughtless thing again.

I think it is best you get their phone number and cancel it yourself explaining government guidelines in the UK.

@Delatron

Thanks all. I’ve gone back to explain to him and he insists there is no risk and that I don’t want them over ‘because I hate having people to stay’

I said we know they have been travelling all over and visiting family and friends but apparently he thinks there is no risk and it’s just me being unfriendly. He just wants to do something nice. He says we will talk about it in the morning. That pissed me off as he clearly isn’t listening and thinks I’ll change my mind.

Then you know what, just leave him to it. It's against guidance to mix households overnight like that. And it's against more than that to come through from the US and not self-isolate, completely, for 2 weeks if you enter the UK and you have to declare your whereabouts and comings and goings on a form and sign it and if you lie and get caught and are from the US you could be removed and banned from re-entry. And they do check. Because it's against the policy/law now. Same with France, the Netherlands, Spain. etc.

He's being stubborn, so that's his lookout. Hold fast. It's against the rules and it's risky AF.

@justasking111

I think it is best you get their phone number and cancel it yourself explaining government guidelines in the UK.

I rather second this but see where he won't give it to you.

Stand your ground OP.

The only time we have had people stay was when mum died and that was fine and we were glad to be together.

Otherwise no, never.

Are they too tight to pay for a Travel Lodge or what?

TBH there is no way I would impose myself on anyone. Prefer to do my own thing.

Nah fuck that. Wouldn’t want my husband’s colleague and her kid staying at the best of times, but definitely not under current circumstances. Why put your family at risk so that she can save £ on a hotel? She’s a cheeky bitch for even asking and your dh is an idiot for agreeing.

I think that’s how she is, quite forthright let’s say. And DH is very sociable and loves having people over at the drop of a hat.

I am going to stand firm and I don’t want to put my family at risk. (Plus the short notice and mountain of washing I have).

DH will continue to insist it’s because I’m so hostile and hate having people over but I’ve decided I can live with that. He’s being inconsiderate to me.

YANBU.
We are still in global pandemic - it hasn't just gone away and they are not part of your bubble.

He is being inconsiderate. He knows you don't like overnight guests but decided he would invite typhoid mary his colleague to stay.

Typhoid Mary 😂 That cheered me up!

@Delatron

Thanks all. I’ve gone back to explain to him and he insists there is no risk and that I don’t want them over ‘because I hate having people to stay’

I said we know they have been travelling all over and visiting family and friends but apparently he thinks there is no risk and it’s just me being unfriendly. He just wants to do something nice. He says we will talk about it in the morning. That pissed me off as he clearly isn’t listening and thinks I’ll change my mind.

He can do something nice. He can treat his wife like SHE is the most important person in his life, not a work colleague.

Before Covid- we'd be having words & he'd be doing the hosting.

Now- it would not be happening. He could tell her, or I would.

No risk? What kind of an idiot is he?

She didn't ask - he offered. Money on it.

[quote justasking111]Just heard on the news. "Don`t meet indoors with anyone you do not live with" I think that is pretty clear. OP your husband is stupid.

www.gov.uk/guidance/meeting-people-from-outside-your-household-from-4-july[/quote]
Yes, you can stay overnight with 1 other household. It says in that link you provided under “Staying overnight with members of another household”

Think this thread has just reminded me that mumsnet is full of folks who don’t answer their doors or phones, don’t have friends, and think having guests is tantamount to torture.
Maybe it should remind you that everyone is different and that is ok. We don’t all need to love guests in our homes, especially ones you didn’t invite and your partner didn’t discuss with you first.

I stay with friends regularly and have them stay with me.We do it because we like socialising together and having a few drinks. It’s actually perfectly normal.
Good for you. It’s YOUR normal. To suggest it’s not “normal” is really fucking patronising, but that is always YOUR normal Bluntness.

Realistically the guest and child here have necks like a jockey's blx to accept a night or two in your home.

I personally would never do it.

I think DH needs a bit of a talking to.