to be peeved that my kids refuse to be tested for Covid!

[sadpapercourtesan]

We've been asked to be part of the testing programme as a family - we'd be tested every week for 5 weeks, then every month for 12 months. DH and I want to do it, particularly the antibody test as we'd like to know whether we've got immunity. Our boys (16 and nearly 18) refuse; DS1 doesn't fancy the nose swab and DS2 says he'd rather not know! So that's that

Obviously it's their choice to make, but I'm peeved that DH and I won't get to participate now, as it has to be the whole family. Grrr.

Covid may one day become a thing of memory. Sadly, the pandemic of stupid is something that will be among us forever

Ha ha sadly yes.

Welcome to parenting older children who no longer have to do what you say even if it’s in their interest. It can be a hard transition but you will be proud of them on the other side

Wow a MNer who accepts that children don't always do what their parents tell them to do. Wow! Wow! Wow! I didn't know such people existed.

Ah yes - the selfishness of the young Why is it selfish when there's no need for it? The OP isn't annoyed because she has any feeling of civic duty, she just wants regular tests and an antibody test for free. Well you can get a test any time you want. And antibody tests are available if you pay for them.

I will strongly recommend to my son that he becomes a blood donor when he turns 18, but if he doesn't want to do it I'm not going to come and post on here and invite loads of comments about how selfish he is. Or, indeed, if he does agree come here to preen about my superior "parenting" and how I've brought up such an unselfish child with a sense of civic duty.

If someone doesn't want a swab shoved up their nose, they don't have to have it.

@Aridane

Technically yes

Its all that matters. They get to say yes or no and be respected in their choice. It's not just a technicality. It's a basic standard

My kid gives blood regularly - happy to boast about that, although it is entirely their choice. Took them with me once to a donor session when they were small to show them it wasnt painful and reminded them when they were 18 that they were now eligible. By then I couldnt go so no more taking them along. Model the behaviour you'd like your children to adopt.

As long as there is nor reason to think your children are infectious it's their right to say no. If there was any reason to think they were infectious then I would certainly be saying it was unreasonable not to test. Regular testing should be entirely voluntary - so NBU to feel peeved but VVU to show that to the children.

Whilst I understand why you are disappointed OP, it’s definitely a matter of choice and it’s not something your can force: all you can do is explain the benefit of your participation.

It's funny how the children (adult and nearly adult) are selfish, but the OP wanted them to participate so that SHE would know if she was immune.

Given her motivation, it's not unreasonable to think she'd drop out of the study as soon as she's got the results she wanted.

My 2 year old had the test done whilst unwell in hospital. I’d think teenagers could manage it fine

@Lweji

It's funny how the children (adult and nearly adult) are selfish, but the OP wanted them to participate so that SHE would know if she was immune.

Given her motivation, it's not unreasonable to think she'd drop out of the study as soon as she's got the results she wanted.

Isn't it just. But not surprising, since the people criticising the teens involved have essentially had a competition to see who could be the most stupid.

Are you upset about the test or the measly money incentive? I don't know anyone who willing wants that test it's awful.. I received the same letter and shredded it.

Calling people stupid is a poor argument.

@Susanw1985

My 2 year old had the test done whilst unwell in hospital. I’d think teenagers could manage it fine

You do realise nobody is unwell and this is about choice not management?

@FuckwitMcGee

Calling people stupid is a poor argument.

No, saying something ridiculous is a poor argument. Correctly identifying something as stupid is simply being accurate.

Love all these “their body their choice” posts..... assume most of you vaccinated your kids? Where was “their choice” there?

As you say their bodies their choice and they've chosen to be selfish little shits... But don't worry I'm sure some other young men won't be so cowardly. Thank goodness there will be others who step up and help to increase our understanding of this illness. Those boys may in the future tell their sons 'Corvid19 I helped find a cure for that'

@Vinomummyinlockdown

Love all these “their body their choice” posts..... assume most of you vaccinated your kids? Where was “their choice” there?

It's a radical perspective I know, but some of us think an individual gains the right to make choices about their own body once they reach a certain point of development. The medical profession tends to agree. You may have heard of the concept of Gillick competence.

Alternatively we could use your argument, and allow parents to continue having the right to make medical decisions for their adult offspring forever (remember one of the DC in question is 18) because hey, they chose to get them the MMR in 1998. And just because a person is 56 doesn't mean they shouldn't have to get parental permission before a medical procedure!

@Vinomummyinlockdown

Love all these “their body their choice” posts..... assume most of you vaccinated your kids? Where was “their choice” there?

The difference is that you make the choice for your baby/young child because they are unable to make the choice themselves. A 16 and 18 year old are capable of making a decision themselves.

@Bettyboo1957

As you say their bodies their choice and they've chosen to be selfish little shits... But don't worry I'm sure some other young men won't be so cowardly. Thank goodness there will be others who step up and help to increase our understanding of this illness. Those boys may in the future tell their sons 'Corvid19 I helped find a cure for that'

Why don’t you have it? How was your own experience been swobbed every 5 weeks??

There’s plenty of others that will have it anyway I don’t know why it’s become so dramatic.

Exactly my point...plenty of others will do it . But saying no before you given it a go ... come on. And the swabbing experience varies on each occasion in addition my children's reaction varies as well from gagging( 18yr) to oooo can I do it again now!( 11yrs) if any òf them said no that would be it

@Bettyboo1957 to be honest I would say no as well. It’s nothing to do with you. You have no business imposing your views and decisions onto your adult kids. Have it yourself and leave others alone.

@Bettyboo1957

As you say their bodies their choice and they've chosen to be selfish little shits... But don't worry I'm sure some other young men won't be so cowardly. Thank goodness there will be others who step up and help to increase our understanding of this illness. Those boys may in the future tell their sons 'Corvid19 I helped find a cure for that'

And the prize for Best Inadvertent Use of Hyperbole 2020 goes to . . .

FFS.

It's not a bloody war. It's a research study. One among many for one of many diseases, some of which are far, far more deadly than covid 19. Not participating in any study does not make anyone a 'selfish little shit'. In the not too distance past, people, including children, were used for medical experiments and testing, without their consent (poor children and people in workhouse, children's homes and the like. Women used to teach medicine whilst under anaesthesia, people operated on and the like whilst out) and we recognised this for being very wrong, which it is.

I gave a biopsy sample of mine, which carried strains of HPV known to be conducive to the development of cervical cancer, to research for a vaccine, which is now a reality. Do I go around expecting bloody praise for it, advertising myself as some type of hero or warrior? Do I fuck! It was asked of me and and I chose to donate it. Similarly, we donated some cells from our cancer-stricken daughter towards research into the paediatric form of the disease. It was donated, given, with NO expectation in return. It's not a brave act, it's just donating. Nor is it bloody cowardly to not want to participate in anything.

That's how medical research moves forward, not by shaming and labelling people who say NO to having their bodies used for studies, or for those who chose to participate being lauded as anything other than people who chose to participate.

People have bloody lost the plot over this, they really have.

@Bettyboo1957

Exactly my point...plenty of others will do it . But saying no before you given it a go ... come on. And the swabbing experience varies on each occasion in addition my children's reaction varies as well from gagging( 18yr) to oooo can I do it again now!( 11yrs) if any òf them said no that would be it

NO ONE is under any obligation to give it a go and that doesn't make them a bad person in any way .

@Vinomummyinlockdown

Love all these “their body their choice” posts..... assume most of you vaccinated your kids? Where was “their choice” there?

I'm a bit confused as to why you think pitting a vaccination given to a child over a test given to an adult is a reasonable comparison. Surely you must know the difference between vaccinations and test? I mean, they are not the same thing, right?

Also, as parents we make decisions for our children, when they are 16 & 18 they absolutely get to decide for themselves.

Vaccines are largely for the child's benefit, as would a diagnostic test.

This is RESEARCH.

Not remotely the same thing. Not even similar.

Thank you very much. All the girls in my family have had that vaccine. We have lost 2 family members to that horrid condition. I hope you are right about corvid19. I am not comparing it to war or expecting praise for my children. I just want them to have a willing to help attitude