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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be peeved that my kids refuse to be tested for Covid!

300 replies

sadpapercourtesan · 14/08/2020 11:45

We've been asked to be part of the testing programme as a family - we'd be tested every week for 5 weeks, then every month for 12 months. DH and I want to do it, particularly the antibody test as we'd like to know whether we've got immunity. Our boys (16 and nearly 18) refuse; DS1 doesn't fancy the nose swab and DS2 says he'd rather not know! So that's that Sad

Obviously it's their choice to make, but I'm peeved that DH and I won't get to participate now, as it has to be the whole family. Grrr.

OP posts:
TommyJoesMummy · 15/08/2020 18:22

I’m confused...
I’ve done the swab test 3 times and it’s not painful or uncomfortable. It’s really simple to do, just use a mirror.
The antibodies test is just a blood test and the phlebotomist laughed when I told her people had been saying it was a bigger needle.

NicolaC17 · 15/08/2020 18:49

Just send your own samples off twice and then you can see if you have antibodies.

InDeoEstMeaFiducia · 15/08/2020 18:55

@TommyJoesMummy

I’m confused... I’ve done the swab test 3 times and it’s not painful or uncomfortable. It’s really simple to do, just use a mirror. The antibodies test is just a blood test and the phlebotomist laughed when I told her people had been saying it was a bigger needle.
You're confused that other people's experiences are not identical to your own? Really! Fucking hell. I went through border control and customs a few weeks ago. The person in front of us was pulled to the side, they're doing this at random now, and had her bags searched. We, however, were sent through after we stated we had nothing to declare. She and I both went through the same border control, but her experience was different from mine. Imagine, if at all possible Hmm.

I don't mind needles, at all. I don't enjoy them, but when needs must, it's not the end of the world and crack on. I just turn the other way. But, having reasonable intelligence, I'm able to understand that others are different from me and may not feel the same way. Wow! That was really hard to puzzle out!

I'm so glad professionals like phlebotomists find their clients' discomfort a laughing matter, I'm glad I haven't encountered one like that yet.

Covid may one day become a thing of memory. Sadly, the pandemic of stupid is something that will be among us forever.

InDeoEstMeaFiducia · 15/08/2020 18:58

@FelicisNox

YANBU but as you say, it's their choice.

They either don't care about peace of mind and the governments ability to track the amount of people who've had it (much like a concensus) or they don't get it.

You would also be amazed to hear how many young people think it's all a big fake government conspiracy theory.

Or they just did not want to be part of any study and said no. Imagine! Not every single person wants to take part in a scientific study and say no to it. Hmm. Exercising one's right to bodily autonomy does not make one a person who has impaired intelligence.
masterblaster · 15/08/2020 19:35

@NailsNeedDoing

The swans are horrible, I don’t blame them! You can always pay for your own antibodies test.
They'll break your arm
Nat6999 · 15/08/2020 20:17

I don't blame them, having the swabs isn't going to do them any good, they aren't going to gain anything from having them done. I wouldn't put myself in the position of being a lab rat for anyone, let every member of Parliament stick a swab down their throat & up their nose every week instead. Stuff civic duty, no way.

Ifeelsuchafool · 15/08/2020 20:30

You do the test yourself, it's like anything else, easier that way. Many people can't stand others putting mascara on them yet have no trouble putting it on themselves.
I have a sensitive gag reflex but it's really not so bad when you're in control.

TommyJoesMummy · 15/08/2020 20:46

@InDeoEstMeaFiducia

I’m confused about what people seem to saying, along the lines of “so and so said, so I wouldn’t...” etc.
People telling me the needles are larger and when I asked, the phlebotomist laughed it off as the bollocks that it was.

Yes, some people will hate it, some won’t mind it, but people having to say how uncomfortable or painful it, but based on what they’ve heard and not their own experience. That’s just fear mongering, surely.

Also, not a fan of needles, but needs must.
And I’m not stupid.

InDeoEstMeaFiducia · 15/08/2020 20:50

Yes, some people will hate it, some won’t mind it, but people having to say how uncomfortable or painful it, but based on what they’ve heard and not their own experience. That’s just fear mongering, surely.

Except they ARE recounting their own experiences, including on this thread Hmm.

AugustBreeze · 15/08/2020 21:04

But it's not about becoming a "lab rat" - no experiments are being done on them, it's just giving a sample...

TommyJoesMummy · 15/08/2020 21:09

Except they ARE recounting their own experiences, including on this thread hmm.

Yes, and some are just recounting others.
Thing is, I don’t get the need to say negatives about procedures that people are having done. How is it helpful?

For example, you think the phlebotomist was unkind in my scenario...

I think the person who’d said that the needle is larger just as I passed to have it done was unkind, and the comment unnecessary.
And the reason it was said, was because I’d said that I don’t do well with blood tests.
The phlebotomist laughed it off. She made me feel better before the procedure. Christ knows, it could have been a bigger needle, but I didn’t need to hear it!

My post was a positive personal experience, as I think a few are needed to counter the negatives that people enjoy repeating more.
It was nice to have one person tell me how easy it was to swab myself, as everyone else fell over themselves to say it hurt and is uncomfortable.

That is what I don’t get on these things

Happyher · 15/08/2020 21:12

Welcome to parenting older children who no longer have to do what you say even if it’s in their interest. It can be a hard transition but you will be proud of them on the other side

vodkaredbullgirl · 15/08/2020 21:18

6x and still gets no better

Catwaving · 15/08/2020 21:25

What a fuss everyone is making

I agree it would be fantastic to know! Just tell them it's compulsory or something

TommyJoesMummy · 15/08/2020 21:29

Sorry OP, I do think YANBU to feel peeved as you cannot complete the testing as a ‘test family’.
You obviously want to be involved in the ‘consensus’ and the results may be quite valuable.
Maybe discuss it with them, and see what issues they have, and answers you can give.
It is still voluntary, so their choice, but maybe you could go in for a different test program?

Leaannb · 15/08/2020 21:34

@Catwaving

What a fuss everyone is making

I agree it would be fantastic to know! Just tell them it's compulsory or something

You really think neurological kids wouldn't be able to know that is completely false? They are young not stupid
InDeoEstMeaFiducia · 15/08/2020 21:52

@Catwaving

What a fuss everyone is making

I agree it would be fantastic to know! Just tell them it's compulsory or something

Yes, what a silly thing to fuss about, your own right to say what happens to your body Hmm. 'Just' lie to your kids about multiple invasive tests that they don't want, I'm sure at the ages of 16 and 18 they won't find out it's all voluntary and their parents are untrustworthy liars who don't respect their personal boundaries, great way to foster a good relationship with your kids. FFS.
PiataMaiNei · 15/08/2020 22:07

@Catwaving

What a fuss everyone is making

I agree it would be fantastic to know! Just tell them it's compulsory or something

They're 18 and 16...
Lardlizard · 15/08/2020 22:15

I think they sound like sensible kids with a right to make their own choice about anything medical
And not to be called selfish or you make them feel bad about it

Bananabread8 · 15/08/2020 22:27

You can still pay for the antibody test. The swobs are not pleasant to be having to be tested every 5 weeks. I don’t blame them.

Tests are very inaccurate too.

Aridane · 16/08/2020 04:26

Ah yes - the selfishness of the young

squeekums · 16/08/2020 05:27

@Aridane

Ah yes - the selfishness of the young
They are not selfish They have bodily autonomy Testing is not an obligation, especially as part of some research project

I agree it would be fantastic to know! Just tell them it's compulsory or something
And as they are 16 and 18, once they catch you out, and the will, they will never believe another word you say. Who could blame them, lieing to them so they will give up their bodily autonomy is disgusting

Aridane · 16/08/2020 05:42

Of course they have bodily autonomy Confused - but youth is as youth does

squeekums · 16/08/2020 06:14

@Aridane

Of course they have bodily autonomy Confused - but youth is as youth does
But it's not selfish to exercise their right for bodily autonomy. I find it great they know their right and haven't just been guilted or bullied into testing against their wishes. Especially given how many here think bribing, lying, guilting are all acceptable to coerce someone into medical research. I'm 32 and would refuse. All I have to say is bodily autonomy and that's end of discussion technically.
Aridane · 16/08/2020 07:14

Technically yes