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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be peeved that my kids refuse to be tested for Covid!

300 replies

sadpapercourtesan · 14/08/2020 11:45

We've been asked to be part of the testing programme as a family - we'd be tested every week for 5 weeks, then every month for 12 months. DH and I want to do it, particularly the antibody test as we'd like to know whether we've got immunity. Our boys (16 and nearly 18) refuse; DS1 doesn't fancy the nose swab and DS2 says he'd rather not know! So that's that Sad

Obviously it's their choice to make, but I'm peeved that DH and I won't get to participate now, as it has to be the whole family. Grrr.

OP posts:
PinkSparklyPussyCat · 14/08/2020 13:22

I wouldn't be having weekly tests. I haven't had a covid test yet but I already know it won't go well as I'll gag and possibly be sick. I'd obviously have one if I had symptoms but wouldn't be having weekly/monthly tests

user1471457751 · 14/08/2020 13:30

The test made me vomit. There is no way I would volunteer to do it another dozen times

thirdfiddle · 14/08/2020 13:32

Newsflash, different people have different sensitivities. I'm dreading if DH ever needs a test. He wouldn't get anywhere near the back of his throat with a swab, he was violently retching just trying to put a thermometer under his tongue. I think he'd need sedation or something if it was medically necessary to do it, or just isolate for 2 weeks if any suspicion.

HMBB · 14/08/2020 13:32

I have a very sensitive gaga reflex and have been swab tested twice.
It's that bad, only lasts a few seconds. Really not that big a deal, just a bit unpleasant.

YANBU to want them to have it and be disappointed that they wouldn't do it for the family. I can see however that it is their choice but I would still be a bit annoyed.

thirdfiddle · 14/08/2020 13:36

Thanks HMBB, that gives me some hope. Did you do it yourself or did a medic swab you? DH has failed with multiple attempts to get dental xrays for example, he can't get the xray plate in his mouth. I guess that's for longer, but he can't get it in at all without involuntary reflex ejecting it.

ChewChewsBiscuitTin · 14/08/2020 13:39

I have a very sensitive gaga reflex - oh no, were you Born This Way?

(I'll get my coat)

thirdfiddle · 14/08/2020 13:43

Grin snerk.

InDeoEstMeaFiducia · 14/08/2020 13:45

YABVU. Their body, their choice, nothing 'selfish' about it. Cue legion of hard of thinking posters who just 'don't understand' how people differ in their pain thresholds, backgrounds and sensitivities when it comes to having a swab test. It's not hard to puzzle out that everyone is not oneself and people differ from one another.

I used to be fine with these tests, just found them unpleasant, but then had a life experience that now makes them a trigger for my PTSD and that I have to work daily to control.

My son has SN and wouldn't consent to a swab test. His body, his choice.

I applaud my children for making choices regarding their own bodies, owning them and sticking to their boundaries. That's a good thing.

Lweji · 14/08/2020 13:49

You can get your own antibody test.
But it is of limited value. And you wouldn't know how long you'd be immune for, if positive.

I've done one for research, but wouldn't go out of my way to have one done.

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/08/2020 13:55

That’s really a shame. Does it have to be the whole family? My dd (12) would be the same - are they open to bribes?

InDeoEstMeaFiducia · 14/08/2020 13:59

@Mummyoflittledragon

That’s really a shame. Does it have to be the whole family? My dd (12) would be the same - are they open to bribes?
And this is how we've come with regards to absolute terror over this: a person tells you 'NO' about something to do with their personal body, says NO to having a procedure, whatever it is, done on his or her body and the response is to try to coerce them to do it anyhow.

Fucking hell. Substitute that for any other procedure and see how chilling a suggestion that is.

No means no when it comes to one's body, this should always be respected immediately without a quibble and no justification is needed.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 14/08/2020 13:59

If swabs are done properly they should make you gag, and the nasal swab should be uncomfortable as it goes a long way in. I wouldn't make my child do this.

Peanutbuttercupisyum · 14/08/2020 14:05

Your children are being a bit silly, tbh. Don’t you think it’s because they know you want them to do it, so it’s a little bit of power they have..?

The test is uncomfortable, but seriously..they are teenagers, not little children! All this gagging and whatnot..😂

And why would they not want to know? It’s not like being told your date of death or something! Dramatic and very silly. I’d bribe them to do it, probably.

LizzyELane · 14/08/2020 14:05

My family are doing the same research study. We do the swabs ourselves while the healthcare assistant waits outside. If anyone else tried to swab my throat I would gag badly. As medical procedures go we all think it's fine, nose feels a bit odd for a minute but in terms of knowing we are being checked regularly for the virus, being rewarded with vouchers, plus doing our bit for research, it's worth it. The blood test isn't available to us as no qualified staff are available in my area. I was told it's optional anyway and they don't tell you if you have antibodies, so I wouldn't be opting for that as I'm squeamish about needles. DD 13 doesn't bat an eyelid at the swabs and has been enjoying having some spending money over the summer.

DoItForTheDucks · 14/08/2020 14:08

The test is uncomfortable, but seriously..they are teenagers, not little children! All this gagging and whatnot..😂**

It makes a lot of people gag. Nothing silly about that. Your body is designed to gag when you have something pushed that far down your throat in order to protect you. It's a natural response.

InDeoEstMeaFiducia · 14/08/2020 14:09

@Peanutbuttercupisyum

Your children are being a bit silly, tbh. Don’t you think it’s because they know you want them to do it, so it’s a little bit of power they have..?

The test is uncomfortable, but seriously..they are teenagers, not little children! All this gagging and whatnot..😂

And why would they not want to know? It’s not like being told your date of death or something! Dramatic and very silly. I’d bribe them to do it, probably.

Jesus wept! They said NO. Someone says NO about having something done to their body, they don't need a reason, and it's 'silly' and something you need to coerce and manipulate them into doing? WTF kind of message does that send to your kids. Some people find the test very painful, regardless of this, it's within anyone's right to say NO and that's the end of it.

Feel uncomfortable with any situation regarding your body and life? You're just 'being silly' and it's acceptable to coerce and manipulate you. That's what people get taken to court for, because it's never acceptable when it comes to one's boundaries regarding their bodies.

ChandosBucks · 14/08/2020 14:09

Don't come to Jersey then if you don't like the test - if you're over the age of 11 you can't come into the island without a swab test (and will need more than one test if you're coming in from an amber or red country). Unless you want to isolate for 2 weeks as an alternative, with compliance checks to make sure you're really doing it, but not many are choosing that. We've swabbed over 35,000 people in the last 6 weeks since we opened our border again!

romeolovedjulliet · 14/08/2020 14:10

peeps bang on about being tested, here's the thing you are tested on monday but didn't have it [you didn't know that] , you are out and about on wednesday and unwittingly catch the virusl the monday test comes back as clear but you caught it on weds. what is the point of random testing ? apparently [don't quote me] sometimes the tests come backwith false negatives results as there wasn't enough virus to show up anyway.
i wouldn't have a test but i respect other peoples choices to have one.
noone has the right to call me selfish anymore that i have to call them for forcing these tests on their dc.

InDeoEstMeaFiducia · 14/08/2020 14:11

so I wouldn't be opting for that as I'm squeamish about needles.

Yet some people on here think you're just being silly and it's acceptable to attempt to manipulate and coerce people into such if it's regarding Covid. Fucking shocking.

welshladywhois40 · 14/08/2020 14:12

Yes you should be annoyed. It's 20 seconds of discomfort.

We are part of the weekly program and took our 7 year old for a test recently and she didn't make any fuss.

As a country we just need to get used to doing it

lotusbell · 14/08/2020 14:12

Interesting that they've offered you a family test. My son got the letter a few weeks ago and was mildly intrigued but said no due to the possible discomfort of the swab, can't blame him. He's 13. There was a post about it around then and I think the OP got some stick for not making her child take part. My dad is nearly 72 and he got the letter this week, he's going to do it.

LizzyELane · 14/08/2020 14:14

OP just re-read your last sentence, now wondering if it is the same study. We've done the five weeks and are now on the monthly schedule, but it was made very clear DD did not have to join in if not keen. Might be worth checking so you and your DH could still take part without your DC.

romeolovedjulliet · 14/08/2020 14:14

@Peanutbuttercupisyum

Your children are being a bit silly, tbh. Don’t you think it’s because they know you want them to do it, so it’s a little bit of power they have..?

The test is uncomfortable, but seriously..they are teenagers, not little children! All this gagging and whatnot..😂

And why would they not want to know? It’s not like being told your date of death or something! Dramatic and very silly. I’d bribe them to do it, probably.

they are older teens and are entitled to say 'no' as much as anyone else. it could be regarded as assault if they were forced, and as for the bribes crap Hmm
AllPlayedOut · 14/08/2020 14:14

I have about as much desire to go to Jersey as I have to go camping again or subscribe to a Joe Pasquale ASMR podcast.

Lweji · 14/08/2020 14:16

It's not as if there's a suspected case at home or among their contacts.

Research is on a voluntary basis and it's how it should be, regardless of reasons.