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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

This obsession with blue eyes! Anyone else?

451 replies

Lelophants · 13/08/2020 10:44

Honestly, I know it's a minor thing but it's really starting to annoy me! 🤣

Dh and I both have hazel eyes. We are white but more olivey skin (not that it matters!) Ds is the spitting image of me as a baby and his eyes are still that changeable very dark blue/brown colour, but looks dark in most lights. He has basically the same eyes I did as a baby and most of the time they look hazel, but I guess they haven't quite set yet. Mine didn't set until 1. He is 9 months. (Other babies we know with blue eyed parents have proper blue eyes - ds has never looked very blue!) Also neither DH or myself are blue!!

Pil are both blue and hazel eyed and mil is the blue eyed one and is obsessed that our baby will have blue eyes! Every time she visits (maybe 6 or 7 times now) it's "his eyes look blue! Are they blue?" Then looks disappointed when we say no. I'm not kidding. Every time she comes in! I actually have an intake of breath now. She then makes the odd comment of "well they look blue to me." as if I'm making it up. Confused

I actually find it quite offensive. Dark eyes are attractive you know! Her son has them! And ds has my eyes!
She even made some comment about how her other son has blue eyes and how beautiful they are.

Anyone else have people like this? Blue eyes are no nicer than dark eyes. Hazel eyes are beautiful thank you very much!

OP posts:
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9
AryaStarkWolf · 13/08/2020 10:47

I never heard of Blue eyes being thought of as the nicest colour, probably just a personal preference on her part?

ShinyMe · 13/08/2020 10:48

It's only because blue eyes are so rare.

Sally872 · 13/08/2020 10:49

If MIL has blue eyes and nobody else does she is probably just excited he might take after her in some way.

Chanjer · 13/08/2020 10:50

Green ftw obviously

Chanjer · 13/08/2020 10:50

Although blue eyes and black hair

oof

EatsShootsAndRuns · 13/08/2020 10:50

She's looking for a ”he takes after me” link.
Blue is a recessive gene so in your mix the odds are he probably won't have blue eyes.

MsPeachh · 13/08/2020 10:51

I do think there needs to be more love for other eye colours! I hear lots of people saying they don't like their "boring" brown eyes whereas I think it's wonderful getting lost in deep, dark brown eyes. They have a lovely warmth about them.

x2boys · 13/08/2020 10:51

I have blue eyes I didn't think they were that rare? My son has hazel eyes , beautiful colour .

SomeHalfHumanCreatureThing · 13/08/2020 10:51

Are blue eyes rare?

YANBU. She sounds a bit annoying. Fairly common for this kind of thing to happen though I think. "he looks like my dad/has same eyes as me/I think her hair will be curly like mine/he has the same chin as your father".

MouthBreathingRage · 13/08/2020 10:51

I used to hate having dark eyes (mine are David Mitchell type dark), until I realised pretty much everyone around me had blue eyes so I was actually a bit 'unusual'. It's just eye colour, unless ones eyes are especially unusual then it's really not that striking to have blue over brown ones.

TankGirl97 · 13/08/2020 10:51

I've encountered this too. I'm hazel, two dc hazel and one dc blue. Every bugger comments on the dc with blue eyes, my mum especially. Makes me sad for the other two dc. I agree hazel and brown eyes are warm and lovely.

OnlyToWin · 13/08/2020 10:52

Feel like most people (including children)I know have blue eyes and it’s more unusual to have dark eyes. I don’t think of blue eyes as rare but perhaps it is just the group of people I know.

Minai · 13/08/2020 10:52

I think it can be a PIL thing to be honest!

I have blonde hair and blue eyes, DH and his family have hazel/ brown eyes and dark hair.

Both my boys have blonde hair, the eldest has brown eyes, the youngest are still blue.

EVERY time we see them we have comments like ooh, his hair is going darker! His eyes look like they are going to turn hazel like ours! It’s a bit annoying but I just internally roll my eyes and get on with it. It’s not that they think blonde hair or blue eyes don’t look nice or anything they just really want them to look like their side of the family when the reality is they look much more like my side.

GreyishDays · 13/08/2020 10:52

@ShinyMe

It's only because blue eyes are so rare.
Are you thinking of green? In the UK blue is the most common colour.
SomeHalfHumanCreatureThing · 13/08/2020 10:52

@Chanjer

Green ftw obviously
Haha yes.

I knew someone with yellow eyes once. Now that was unusual...

AllNaturalIngredients · 13/08/2020 10:52

Maybe it’s not so much that she prefers blue eyes but wants DS to have inherited her eye colour? If you know what I mean

They are like that in my family, eg my DM was very happy I had brown eyes like her. Which are much less common in Ireland.

Shmithecat2 · 13/08/2020 10:52

I get comments/compliments every day about my eyes. They're quite a pale/bright blue. Yet I don't get the fuss about them either, I'd LOVE brown eyes.

EthelMayFergus · 13/08/2020 10:53

My MIL is lovely generally but absolutely bonkers about claiming my children have inherited her genes and traits (they haven't, and dh is like his dad). She's just claiming him as one of her own and hoping he's in some way an extension of her because it adds to the love. That's what I tell myself anyway Grin.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 13/08/2020 10:53

DH and DD both have very blue eyes. I have green eyes. DD has red hair like me and often says she wishes she had green eyes so we would be matching. She’s the most recessive combination possible though so she may change her mind when she’s older.

I don’t think there is a particular colour of eyes that is the best and I have never heard of people obsessing over what colour eyes a child has. Hair colour on the other hand...

Mrsfrumble · 13/08/2020 10:53

My MIL was delighted that DD has brown eyes. Mine are blue but I didn’t take offence or see it as a slight. She has brown eyes, and her other three grandchildren have blue or green eyes; she just likes it that DD takes after her.

Do you get on with your PIL generally?

MistyGreenAndBlue · 13/08/2020 10:54

The rarest eye colour is apparently green. I know a lot of blue eyed people.

I always wanted dark eyes myself (mine are green) but ultimately, does it matter?
She's being rude and ridiculous. I'm sure your son is gorgeous.

Spied · 13/08/2020 10:54

If it wasn't the eyes then it would be her hair colour/skintone/any that she would use to try and liken your ds to her and/or her 'side' of the family.
As DS grows and it becomes strikingly obvious his eyes are not blue she will instead choose a character trait and pass it off as being exactly like her/her 'side'.

Twigletfairy · 13/08/2020 10:54

My husband is a bit like this. Both our girls our red heads, eldest has brown eyes and baby has blue eyes. He keeps saying how he hopes her eyes stay blue and keeps asking me at what age they would have turned brown if they was going to, and he really loves her beautiful blue eyes.

It really gets on my nerves. My husband and I both have brown eyes. Everyone in our immediate family has brown eyes. So it is more likely than not that her eyes will go brown. It upsets me to think he will be disappointed if they turn brown

Jennygentle · 13/08/2020 10:55

I don’t think I’m this part of the world blue eyes are unusual, are they?
I know loads of blue eyed people.
I think your MIL is just excited about possibly having a shared characteristic with your DS. She’s being a bit OTT but I doubt it’s intended to wound.

BirthdayCakes · 13/08/2020 10:55

My MIL was the same and I found it really annoying..

For one thing we ALLLLLL have dark brown eyes - which are my favourite anyway.. And I don't really like blue eyes - they seem cold