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Original poster

This obsession with blue eyes! Anyone else?

451 replies

Lelophants · 13/08/2020 10:44

Honestly, I know it's a minor thing but it's really starting to annoy me! 🤣

Dh and I both have hazel eyes. We are white but more olivey skin (not that it matters!) Ds is the spitting image of me as a baby and his eyes are still that changeable very dark blue/brown colour, but looks dark in most lights. He has basically the same eyes I did as a baby and most of the time they look hazel, but I guess they haven't quite set yet. Mine didn't set until 1. He is 9 months. (Other babies we know with blue eyed parents have proper blue eyes - ds has never looked very blue!) Also neither DH or myself are blue!!

Pil are both blue and hazel eyed and mil is the blue eyed one and is obsessed that our baby will have blue eyes! Every time she visits (maybe 6 or 7 times now) it's "his eyes look blue! Are they blue?" Then looks disappointed when we say no. I'm not kidding. Every time she comes in! I actually have an intake of breath now. She then makes the odd comment of "well they look blue to me." as if I'm making it up. Confused

I actually find it quite offensive. Dark eyes are attractive you know! Her son has them! And ds has my eyes!
She even made some comment about how her other son has blue eyes and how beautiful they are.

Anyone else have people like this? Blue eyes are no nicer than dark eyes. Hazel eyes are beautiful thank you very much!

OP posts:
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9
Amymone · 13/08/2020 11:57

Green eyes are much rarer than blue

Original poster
Lelophants · 13/08/2020 11:58

I'm not mean enough to say "actually if a child of mine does have blue eyes, I'd rather have my own mother's blue eyes!" Hers are a much prettier shade (and she doesn't think my baby has her eyes ever 😅 but then she probably likes that he looks like me)

OP posts:
EthelMayFergus · 13/08/2020 11:58

@Gunpowder

Agree it’s a PIL thing. Three of my kids look like DH and have his eyes but DS is just like me and has my eyes. MIL is always trying to work out who he could possibly look like and sending me ancient photos of her distant family. I don’t think it occurs to her one of the grandchildren could look like their mother.
This is exactly what my MIL is like. Dh is Italian and all of his family are brown eyed/black hair/olive skin. One of my dc has my blue eyes and MIL said dd takes after her uncle Alberto...who married her aunt, absolutely no genetic link at all, yet that's where the blue eyes come from. I have decided to find it funny, for the sake of family harmony.
thepeopleversuswork · 13/08/2020 11:59

I agree with you OP, I'm sure its not meant in this way but these comments always strike me as a bit backwards. Nasty associations for me of the assumption that blonde-haired people are more attractive, with shades of vaguely favouring people who look more caucasian, or thinking little blonde girls are the prettiest. Bit Daily Mail.

I'm your your MIL means well but if I were her I'd just have buttoned it.

I guess there's nothing you can do except smile sweetly.

SimonJT · 13/08/2020 11:59

@Amymone

Green eyes are much rarer than blue
Yep, I’m in the 2% club, although green eyes are very common where I’m from.
sashh · 13/08/2020 11:59

Are blue eyes rare?

World wide yes, in Norther Europe, no.

YgritteSnow · 13/08/2020 12:00

My dd has light hazel eyes with a flash of clear green in one of them. They're very beautiful and when she was younger she had light golden brown hair too. In the UAE when we were on holiday occasionally people would ask to take her photo with their children as she looked so unusual to them. She was a very uncooperative four year old though so they probably regretted asking pretty swiftly Grin

Original poster
Lelophants · 13/08/2020 12:01

It's partly the favouritism for blue and partly the obsession I must be wrong 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Lelophants · 13/08/2020 12:02

@thepeopleversuswork they are a bit daily mail 😂😂😂

OP posts:
DDemelza · 13/08/2020 12:03

Sounds like you are just irritated by MIL, tbh.

Also, there is PLENTY of love for dark eyes; see anything from Van Morrison's Brown Eyed Girl to the old Russian standard "Ochi Chorniye."

I personally think blue look exquisite, though, and am a bit weak-kneed around blue-eyed men.

MilaRos · 13/08/2020 12:03

@ShinyMe

It's only because blue eyes are so rare.
I thought green eyes were rare, not blue
TheRosariojewels · 13/08/2020 12:04

I’ve never been able to pinpoint my eye colour exactly, when people ask I always say bluey/greeny/Hazelly. I would like just an absolute colour.

dottiedodah · 13/08/2020 12:05

MistyGreenandBlue I didnt realise that Green eyes were the most unusual TBH. I am the only person I know with them ,so that must be why! Lelophants Try not to take it to heart too much, DGP (esp MIL) love to see if they can find a "special " bond to them that they can "claim" as theirs ! She is just enjoying her moment in the sun as it were and getting to know her new DGS!

Original poster
Lelophants · 13/08/2020 12:07

Thanks all - I already feel better getting this off my chest!
They are coming down again this weekend. I will let you know if it happens again. 😂

OP posts:
PickACoolUserName · 13/08/2020 12:08

Haha! My MIL is convinced that my son's strawberry blonde hair comes from her Grandad, despite the fact that it's the same colour as my Dad's, who she has met several times.

slappaplek · 13/08/2020 12:09

I've got grey eyes.

Old before their time...……Sad Grin

Mumoftwo1994 · 13/08/2020 12:11

@Lelophants

Honestly, I know it's a minor thing but it's really starting to annoy me! 🤣

Dh and I both have hazel eyes. We are white but more olivey skin (not that it matters!) Ds is the spitting image of me as a baby and his eyes are still that changeable very dark blue/brown colour, but looks dark in most lights. He has basically the same eyes I did as a baby and most of the time they look hazel, but I guess they haven't quite set yet. Mine didn't set until 1. He is 9 months. (Other babies we know with blue eyed parents have proper blue eyes - ds has never looked very blue!) Also neither DH or myself are blue!!

Pil are both blue and hazel eyed and mil is the blue eyed one and is obsessed that our baby will have blue eyes! Every time she visits (maybe 6 or 7 times now) it's "his eyes look blue! Are they blue?" Then looks disappointed when we say no. I'm not kidding. Every time she comes in! I actually have an intake of breath now. She then makes the odd comment of "well they look blue to me." as if I'm making it up. Confused

I actually find it quite offensive. Dark eyes are attractive you know! Her son has them! And ds has my eyes!
She even made some comment about how her other son has blue eyes and how beautiful they are.

Anyone else have people like this? Blue eyes are no nicer than dark eyes. Hazel eyes are beautiful thank you very much!

I mean my whole family and partners pretty much have blue eyes, I'm kinda bored of them I was hoping my daughters would have hazel or something but they're blue, quite a beautiful blue luckily as my eyes I think are quite dull.

I don't think there's anything special and it's just grandparents always making a comment or whatever

sashh · 13/08/2020 12:12

Ask them whether they thing you should get blue contacts for your baby. Maybe not, they might think you are serious.

My mum had a similar obsession with everyone being blue eyed, "like me", she was very disappointed I pointed out one niece had green eyes.

When I was growing up I read a few stories set in WW 2, the baddies always had, 'cold blue eyes', I've never seen blue described as 'warm'.

lollyfog · 13/08/2020 12:16

Depends where you are re rareness, UK, Scandinavia common, Spain, Turkey less common etc.

VanillaFrais · 13/08/2020 12:17

Yeah my MIL was always looking for genetic links to her side of the family and everything lovely about my dc was always due to the genes on her side of the family. Anything she deemed "wrong" or "unfortunate" must have come from my side 😂

Anyway, blue eyes are a thing on her side and fairly rare as my dh's family are Italian. My dh has bright blue eyes and I have green eyes so both out children were going to have blue/green eyes. My dd has bright blue eyes until she was 3 then they turned grey and then at 5 they turned green (much to MILs disappointment) and seemed to have settled at that. My ds has bright blue eyes that are exactly the same shade as my dh's. Everybody makes a huge fuss of my children's eyes because they are/were so bright blue. However, my nephew has the darkest brown eyes I've ever seen, they almost look black, and they are amazing. And my niece has beautiful hazel brown eyes, tanned skin and blonde hair and I absolutely adore her colouring. I've never understood the obsession with blue eyes tbh.

lollyfog · 13/08/2020 12:18

It's very common in Ireland to have blue blue eyes & dark hair.

LightAsTheBreeze · 13/08/2020 12:19

Blue eyes are more sensitive to sunlight than brown so I think I would probably prefer brown, I have blue, DH and DS have brown.

WaxOnFeckOff · 13/08/2020 12:19

I only knew my MIL for a few years and she really didn't strike me as one who cares, but she'd probably have had a wee laugh at the fact the one of my DC and one of his cousins on that side are spitting images of each other, myself and SIL clearly had no influence on their looks - SIL and I look nothing alike. Cousin looks more like my DCs brother than his actual brother. No hanky panky either side! :o

lollyfog · 13/08/2020 12:20

I'm never actually sure what green eyes are? DHs are hazel, is that green or brown? Mine are greeny blue with yellow in 🤷‍♀️

AhBallix · 13/08/2020 12:21

I haven't forensically RTFT, so perhaps this has been said, but I do think it's often a case of grandparents claiming ownership, so to speak. This can be lovely, or it can be highly irritating, as it was in our case. DP's parents spent the first two years of DS1's life rushing off to find photographs which proved he was like them. He was like them, but there were similarities with both sides of the family. They stopped producing old photographs when it became quite obvious that he had morphed into a clone of my brother and me. And, let's face it, he's only 12 and could look very different as an adult. They didn't play the same game with DS2 - I don't know, maybe they didn't want the disappointment of realising he wasn't 'like them'. But he IS like them. They are thrown off by his hair and eye colour being different, but feature wise he is the spitting image of DP and of other members of his family.

The eye colour obsession was a 'thing' in our family too. I have blue/grey eyes and DP has brown eyes. I never heard the end of how our DC have blue eyes and there was a lot of fuss over whether they would change colour to be brown/hazel like DP's family. I think all eye colours are beautiful and it is often a combination of hair and eyes which is most striking. DS1 has black hair and dark blue eyes and this seems to draw quite a few comments.