Inspired to ask after following another thread. I’ll start by giving context:
I’m mixed race. My mother is black Caribbean and my father was white British. I very much have Afro hair, it’s just like my mother’s. My husband is white British. We have two DC, and genetics are a strange thing indeed. DS has strawberry blonde hair that is curly and very fine. DD has rich dark brown hair that is long, curly and is much thicker than DS’s hair. Neither of them have Afro hair, however.
Since finding out I was pregnant, MIL regularly asked DH what he would do if ‘they came out with Afro hair?’. He would typically shrug this off as ignorant and tell her that it wouldn’t bother him either way. After they were born, MIL would sometimes assess their hair and in a panicked tone say ‘I think it’s gonna turn Afro’. Again, we told her that wouldn’t be a problem for us, so not to worry.
Fast forward to three days ago. PIL were visiting. I was getting DC ready to go for a walk. I brushed DS’s hair (we haven’t had it cut yet because he likes to be able to have it brushed alongside his sister). Then I brushed DD’s hair. That’s a bit more of a task because it’s thicker, it can get a bit tangled, she struggles and pulls away. MIL is sitting next to me while I’m doing this, watching the struggle, and says to me ‘So does she have the Afro hair then?’. In exactly those words.
I wasn’t rude or anything. I said no, I explained that her hair texture is nothing like mine or my mother’s. She said ‘Oh, that’s good, that’s alright then’.
It really irked me. It made me feel a lot more annoyed than I’d felt before about all of this. Later, when I was talking to my DM I told her about this and DM was very upset. She said that she’s worried about DC growing up around a family that is so ignorant, and she believes they are racist. She mentioned that she thought they were racist before and hadn’t told me so as not to upset me.
I’m very interested to know what other people think. What are people’s thoughts? Am I BU for feeling annoyed at this?