Bf think I'm buying too much for baby

[Smeghead97]

I'm having my first baby in October. Throughout most of my pregnancy I have been unable to buy baby things mostly due to the fact that we were 1. In temporary accomodation and didnt want to have to move everything before baby came and 2. my bf says I 'don't need to buy anything because his family will sort it all out" I am due in 8 weeks and the only things I myself have bought is 3 toys for the baby. Partner has so far bought nothing.

Admittedly his family and friends of family have been very generous and have bought crib with mattress, Moses basket, travel system, baby bath, nursing chair, most sizes of nappies and lots of clothes. The reason they have been so generous is largely due to the fact that they know both me and partner are on universal credit. My bio mum also bought lots of clothes and bibs for baby.

We have a £500 maternity grant from the local council which is to be used to buy things for baby. Now here is the issue I recently filled up an amazon basket with things we needed for the baby. My partner has not been very involved in the shopping so it has been left to me.

So far £340 has been spent on the left over items that I consider we need to get. When I showed my bf the list he said a lot of it was unnecessary and that I was going over the top and buying things that "rich parents" would buy their baby. Bare in mind I have tried to find the cheapest options for most things other than the baby wash and shampoo as it is likely our baby is going to have eczema.

I feel like my bf is being unrealistic about what a baby and mother needs. And I honestly thought I was buying minimally here is a rough list AIBU?

Bath towel for me-we only have 1 in the house
Hooded bath towel for baby
Baby home safety set
5 pairs baby socks
Swaddles
Multipack of mittens
Maternity pads
Bottom spray for healing after birth
3 nursing bras-currently have no bras that fit
3 bottles of baby body and hair wash
Tea towels
Wash cloths
Baby health care kit
Changing bag with mat
3 Baby bottles
Bulk box of baby wipes
Breast pump
3 Baby hats
Nipple cream
Underwear for hospital- i don't have any styles that will fit a maternity pad in
Button down night dress-i have no pyjamas
Set of books for baby

Am i seriously going over the top??

I had a lot of Muslins given to me as "essential" - which they were for my best friend. I never used any of them as my baby didn't vom milk.

One persons "essential" is another persons "completely unnecessary" with babies.

Your post is small. I gave a cure hooded towel from primark which I used a lot, same with mittens. Baby wash lasts ages as you only use a drop. I would buy swaddles as ive always swaddled my children. I would buy a changing bag eoth a mat as they are more convenient I personally think. Uou font knowxehat the situation will be regarding feeding donif you are intending to breastfeed dont waste money on bottles and pump until you know you need them. You will need loads of maternity and breast pads right away. You dont need books. Get a sports drinks bottle, a really cheap one, fill it with water and a bog of salt n you can add a drop of tea tree oil too if you want, squirt it on your "bits" when you wee post birth it will soothe and help it heal. Very cheap and refillable.

Your list is absolutely fine. When you said your boyfriend thought it was the sort of stuff rich people would be buying I was thinking you’d have added some sort of state of the art £1000 baby swings or something! Your list sounds really sensible and that’s what your maternity grant is there for. I’d sit down with him and go through the list, ask him to tell you what he thinks isn’t necessary and why. If some of the items are a maybe/maybe not I won’t use them, such as the breast pump (I couldn’t get on board with one) you can alway wait until after the baby is born and you can order it pretty quickly on amazon if it becomes apparent you will need it. Congratulations on your little baby.

If you plan to use bottles you will need a steriliser
What about a cot and a pram/ pushchair ?

I’d say yes you need books,babies love being read too. Hearing speech,the intonations,the rhythm of a story it’s stimulating & enriching
Great bonding for you and baby, you are establishing good habits if you read to your baby/child

List doesn't look over the top but if you're trying to save I would reconsider buying 3 bottles of baby soap/shampoo and buy 1 baby body soap/shampoo all in one. I used that on my baby and 1 bottle lasted about 7 month. She's 10 month now and I'm still on the second bottle. (I bath her more often now because she gets dirty, but before she was crawling she didn't need a bath every day - I heard from a doctor that bathing every day isn't good for the baby's skin). I also like to experiment with brands. If you buy 3 now and you don't like the brand it will go to waste.