To ask for funny things you've heard from next door gardens?

[HotdogwithKetchup]

We've been out a lot with DC in the garden the past few days and have been hearing more of our neighbours that we usually would! Outer London so tiny suburban gardens.

The single guy behind us has moved his home "office" into the garden and is conducting all his work calls there in bad-tempered French. I can hear him sighing when our youngest shouts, "Need a wee" or screams in the paddling-pool but he hasn't said anything yet which I'm grateful for.

The neighbour behind on the other side is doing some sort of DIY project...So drills, sawing, hammering. I can hear single French guy sighing audibly at this too. I'm on his side if he murders the guy . But he might come for us first...

Next to us we have two older girls (around 11 and 8). They've been building a shelter using sheets in the garden, but the oldest (who is very...assertive!) is convinced the youngest one is doing it all wrong. She knows, you see, since she's been doing Guides and they do shelters all the time .

The other side is flats, one of which is empty and for sale. We never see the upstairs resident. I'm not sure he really exists. Nothing from downstairs today, but over the past few weeks I've enjoyed eavesdropping on the estate agent's sales talk in the garden.

All fairly mundane. Has anyone as nosy as me heard anything really interesting?

Neighbour 1"What's the national sport of Japan,4 words begins with S?"

Neighbour 2 "Do Japan have a national sport?"

DD "Do they play football?"

It was soo tempting

@Zaphodsotherhead

Heard the mum next door go batshit crazy at her eldest son who had aimed the hose through his younger brother’s open window

Although it turned out that he had hit his xbox and totally fucked it

Other side of us is an elderly couple, frequently hear him yelling at her that he thinks it’s time for tea (they’re both very hard of hearing!) so that’s always fun.

Not much else going on really.

During the Great Bog Roll Shortage of March 2020, my youngest put three (yes, three!) of the six loo rolls I had obtained by queuing at 6.50am outside our local shop down the toilet just for fun....

This thread is giving me a giggle. I don’t hear much from my neighbours aside from angry shouting but from our house they’ll hear things along the line of ‘mum she’s killing me’ ‘help I’m being attacked’ while they play a computer game...

*my kids not the neighbours

I never hear anything fun. I've only got 2 houses within earshot and they're both older couples. Nothing exciting to overhear!

DD was colouring my hair in the garden and next door were playing cricket with a tennis ball which whizzed over the fence and actually brushed the end of my nose! That's about as exciting as it gets here

I want to know the tune that goes with the diaper changing song.

Mum next door constantly shouts at older DD age about 7/8. Poor kid seems to get the blame for everything. Anyway, there's a song playing and the daughter says 'mummy, this is my best song ever.' Main lyric of said song is 'stuck here with you' 😂

Two neighbours (men, separate houses) a couple of weeks ago.....

'That's smashing......she'll love that mate, it's a good size but you'll have to make sure she doesn't touch it 'cos she'll not appreciate it!'

I crept to the fence to see what 'it' was to see one man showing his neighbour on the other side a large cactus and I assumed he was talking about the wife

@Skybooks

My neighbours must hear, "put your pants back on" "I don't want to see your willy" and " have you washed your hands" too often

Al

Are you me?

a couple of days ago my neighbours had a massive screaming row about who ate the last mars bar there was screaming, shouting, slamming doors, the woman locked the man in the back garden. when they finally calmed down they sat in the back garden together and my eldest shouted really loudly ‘mum, have we got any mars bars? i could just eat a mars bar’ 😂 i was howling.

Man next door has showers with the window open and a few minutes before the water goes off we hear "Ooooh, oh God, eeeeee, ooohhh, ahhhhh!" Haven't worked out yet if he's doing a cold rinse or having a wank.

I heard my other neighbour snigger when my very angry DD5 screamed that her little brother had just 'bummed her over the slide'. He went up the steps backwards when she was at the top then nudged her over with his bum

Dad next door said to son "do you want avocado?" Son (early twenties) replies "no, I don't want an avocado, it's a fucking barbecue!"

My next door regularily went fishwife on her OH, I've heard all their problems screeched, re mortgaging etc

But the one that confused us was her yelling "but what are we going to do, what if it bursts on when were on holiday"

My dd likes to shout from the bathroom into the garden where we are sitting “poo poo lucky mummy/daddy!”

We haven't got many neighbours but at the bottom of our garden is a service road and across from that is a residential care home.
For the last few days we've been off work and spending more time in the garden. Every single day at 2.15pm a woman shouts "I'd recognise those gorgeous legs anywhere"

It puts a smile on my face because I assume it's one of the residents she's saying it to ❤️

@Tupperwarelid

Our neighbours are Romanian. I wish I spoke the language as they have some very animated conversations and loud phone calls.

Same here. Lots of raucous laughter - I wish I knew what was so funny!

Sweet rather than funny was Mr Nextdoor chatting so sweetly to Mrs Nextdoor's elderly relatives, asking them open ended questions, letting them ramble on for a good while then asking the next open ended question and making interested noises all the while. They are very lovely neighbours and was very touching.

I literally JUST heard "do you know where the deodorant is?" from across the road, but we don't really have near neighbours, we have fields at one side and the back.

(I have had a bad neighbour before 😫)

My neighbours were treated (many years ago now), to DD yelling...."My tongue can fit in the hole!!"....she was eating an onion ring at the time.

My neighbours yell all the time. Everyone is detached! I hear them shouting boring crap in every part of my house if I want any windows open. It is really getting at me because they just don't even try to be considerate.

Another good sport is listening to people on hands free chatting in their cars on hands free not realising everyone outside can hear e.g. "...no but I really do need some Imodium darling!"