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Original poster

DH says I’m an embarrassing nerd

390 replies

Hindsite · 11/08/2020 11:35

I play the Sims. I have lately taken to building and have built a number of homes. I’m getting really into it and have renovated a whole town. I have created an instagram page for my Sims game and share all my builds on there as well as my stories. My next project is making an abandoned Wild West town like the ones we have come across in America. This will likely take a month or so and then once I’m done I’ll move families into it who will then renovate the town.

Last night DH came across my Instagram and went off on one saying I’m a complete giant nerd and he sent the pics to all his family and to his mate. His mate asked if him if I’ve stopped playing grandma turismo because he kept beaten me. DH didn’t know I was playing this car game online with his mate and is now saying I’m an embarrassment and I’ll be the joke of his work place.

Wtf. Is it really so bad to have interests that don’t affect anyone else even if I am a Middle Aged woman?

OP posts:
Oakmaiden · 11/08/2020 12:32

To be honest, if my H had an insta page dedicated to football (for example) I'd find that a tad extreme and embarrassing.

I have a sewing blog and Instagram page, is that extreme and embarrassing too?

My husband does get concerned by the way I get obsessed about games sometimes. And he does have a point with that I have to be really careful certain games don't eat my life (and I am typing this whilst simultaneously quarrying for stone in Wurm Online, so, yeah...) but I don't think it would occur to him to be embarrassed by it.

Whereas I will never admit to posting on Mumsnet unless I know someone very well - that I do find embarrassing. Funny old world, huh?

Regularsizedrudy · 11/08/2020 12:32

If he’s embarrassed why did he tell all his friends.. or have I misunderstood?

ClementineWoolysocks · 11/08/2020 12:34

@Regularsizedrudy

If he’s embarrassed why did he tell all his friends.. or have I misunderstood?
I think he was hoping to show her up.

I'm a geek, my other half works in the gaming industry so virtually everyone we know is also a geek. We wear it proudly.

elfycat · 11/08/2020 12:34

(and I'm 49 next month, so very middle aged)

I'm not sure how to deal with such a disrespectful man, but I think he sees you as an appendage to his life - a bit character in his play - rather than someone allowed to have an interesting and varied life of their own. The words 'Fuck off you twat' come to mind. Women gamers (over 18 and more so over 30) are a real and very common thing.

Brefugee · 11/08/2020 12:36

I used to blog about something incredibly daft and everyone calls me a nerd for it, but in a "but you're our nerd and we love you" kind of way. And when i moved it to Instagram people started sending me other examples and sharing other vaguely similar accounts so it definitely wasn't mean.

I also collect something which is described as odd (they all look similar so at first glance it looks like i have loads of the same thing). It used to embarass my DCs if any of their friends saw them, but their friends all think it's either hilariously-nerdy or coolly-nerdy so we're all fine with that too.

Carry on owning it, OP!

Didkdt · 11/08/2020 12:36

I'd be looking for a new husband. His desire was to humiliate you and he went to the people he thought would support him in this, his family.
I'd be looking long and hard at why he would do that? The games aren't even a relevant part of the problem. It's what he did and why he'd do it?

BobbyTheVet · 11/08/2020 12:37

YANBU he's jealous. 'Nerd' should be a badge of honour not an insult.

And I'd love to see your instagram too!

Sincerely,
Fellow Nerd

Original poster
Hindsite · 11/08/2020 12:39

Grand Turismo was what I meant to say but grandma turismo sounds fun too ... I’m imaging grandmas whizzing around a track on mobility scooters 😂

I don’t know if I dare share my Instagram, it’s not as good as other people’s. If I could work out how to attach an imagine I’d post the build I did based on my own house which I was quite proud of!

His mate is married and his wife doesn’t play games but she knows he likes to kick my arse on the track. He goes in a mood when I beat him and goes offline 😂

OP posts:
Everhopefulhev · 11/08/2020 12:41

As per an earlier posters comment - it’s acceptable for grown men to be gamers and in to stuff like that but as a woman it’s not.
He sounds sexist and mean.

Twigaletta · 11/08/2020 12:42

But surely if he didn't show the screengrabs to everyone no one would be any the wiser and you wouldn't be the laughing stock of anyone?

FWIW he is bullying you by humiliating you in front of people you know. You have a harmless hobby. He sounds envious you get joy from something he can't. A bit like Mr Wormwood in Matilda who rips up her book because he prefers TV. Nasty bully too.

Starbuggy · 11/08/2020 12:42

YANBU

It’s a hobby! You can have whatever hobby you want as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone!

I love Sims as well, I’m pretty rubbish especially at building but it’s just a bit of fun for me! I like watching some sims youtubers though

QuestionMarkNow · 11/08/2020 12:42

Wow. I am absolutely not keen on those games and avoid them like the plague (plenty of reasons that most people would find bonkers - I’m aware about that Grin)

But even I wouldn’t dare saying to anyone they are an embarrassment for playing those games.....

I’m wondering, has he told his Male friend that he is an embarrassment and the joke of the whole company too for playing grandma turismo?? I guess not....

thehumanformerlyknownasfemale · 11/08/2020 12:43

@letsmaketea

How horrible of your DH and his friend. I love the Sims and have done for about 20 years - the only reason I don't play it now it because I don't have a computer with a big enough brain to run it Sad . Very excited to learn there are Sims instagram accounts; if you're willing to share yours, I'd be thrilled!
Do you have a console tea?

Just ignore me if not, but the console version is an exact replica of the PC version, and you can even plug in a mouse and keyboard to play it the traditional way. Runs like a dream too, even with all the expansions. Only downside is you can't download custom content or mods.

Bumlooksbig · 11/08/2020 12:43

I play Forge of Empires and have been playing with Gameduell (German strategy games site) for 12 years. Many years ago played Mafia Wars. I have been gaming for 30 years. My family are used to it. My best friend is also a gamer but Witcher, Pokemon etc. We don't play together. We do go to Comic Cons. Mainly because they are full of gamers and comic lovers just like us.

Your DH is a knob. Tell him to get lost. You have LOADS of support on here. And tons of people gagging to follow your Instagram. Crack on and ignore the haters. You are not alone.

Pobblebonk · 11/08/2020 12:45

I suspect your husband's workmates will think nothing of this, they may even think you're quite cool. If he's that embarrassed he shouldn't have told his mate.

MilerVino · 11/08/2020 12:45

I suppose I could mock my OH for his nerdiness, given that he collects and builds lego sets. However, he also saves me puzzle pages from newspapers as code words and killer Sudokus will keep me occupied happily for hours. Our joint nerd-dom is part of the attraction for us both I think. Our minds work in quite similar ways. Also, he sometimes sells lego sets for £££s, and frankly who's laughing then?

He's being an unkind arse, OP. Carry on as you were, he'll just have to accept it.

thehumanformerlyknownasfemale · 11/08/2020 12:46

OP, just make his SimSelf and build a pool. You know the rest Wink

HowFastIsTooFast · 11/08/2020 12:48

If you're a nerd then he's a nasty school bully OP! Has he not considered that the mate of his you were playing GT with must also be an 'embarrassing nerd' in that case? What bloody difference does it make to him or anyone else what your hobby is if it doesn't impact anyone else? LOADS of people have embarked on new hobbies during lockdown and there's a lot to be said for the distraction and mindfulness of quietly working away on something whether that be a crochet blanket, an air-fix kit or a SIMs town!

I play Animal Crossing on a Switch that DP bought me at the beginning of lockdown and now I follow AC related insta and reddit accounts for inspiration. While it's not his thing at all he will sit patiently while I show him my latest additions, and tags me in anything he comes across online that he thinks I'll like. Meanwhile I sit and listen to him learn new stuff on his guitar and try and put in as much input & feedback as my tone-deaf ears will allow Hmm

WillyNilly00 · 11/08/2020 12:50

He's ridiculous, I love playing the sims and my husband loves to see my builds, I give him a tour lol.

If you interested in sharing the r/Sims4 board on reddit is very popular!

Hoppinggreen · 11/08/2020 12:50

Your husband is a bit of a twat isnt he?
His mates will laugh at him - is he 10?

loutypips · 11/08/2020 12:51

Ah but which sims do you play? 3 is acceptable 4 is not!

I'm kidding. He sounds like an arsehole.

Play it and enjoy. Btw are your houses in the library? I hate building!

PawPawNoodle · 11/08/2020 12:51

My vote depends very much on whether this is Sims 3 or Sims 4 that we're talking about.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 11/08/2020 12:52

Sims2 is the best though!?

AuntyPasta · 11/08/2020 12:53

*’if he was embarrassed by it then he wouldnt have sent links to his family and friends.

It sounds like he wants YOU to be embarrassed by it.‘*

This ^

Next time he goes swimming remove the pool ladder. Also check out Lilsimsie and Plumbella on YouTube and Twitch if you haven’t already.

Throckmorton · 11/08/2020 12:53

He sounds like a twat; you sound cool!!