DH says I’m an embarrassing nerd

[Hindsite]

I play the Sims. I have lately taken to building and have built a number of homes. I’m getting really into it and have renovated a whole town. I have created an instagram page for my Sims game and share all my builds on there as well as my stories. My next project is making an abandoned Wild West town like the ones we have come across in America. This will likely take a month or so and then once I’m done I’ll move families into it who will then renovate the town.

Last night DH came across my Instagram and went off on one saying I’m a complete giant nerd and he sent the pics to all his family and to his mate. His mate asked if him if I’ve stopped playing grandma turismo because he kept beaten me. DH didn’t know I was playing this car game online with his mate and is now saying I’m an embarrassment and I’ll be the joke of his work place.

Wtf. Is it really so bad to have interests that don’t affect anyone else even if I am a Middle Aged woman?

Doesn’t he realise that nerds rule?

I’ve spent my morning visiting friends villages on animal crossing, bought some lovely cherries, done a bit of fishing, weeding and ordered a new sideboard.

@ClementineWoolysocks

Tell him you prefer the word geek and keep on doing what you enjoy. I'd also point out that being a geek is way better than being an arsehole.

^This

He's an idiot! I like the sims. I also play another game and follow the subreddit on reddit so I can keep up to date with updates/ events etc and watch others videos on the game. Other people clearly enjoy this kind of thing or there wouldn't be such large followings. He was nasty to share this with others to make fun of you and was just childish. Carry on enjoying what you do.

How awful. I think hobbies are really important. In my opinion we don't put enough emphasis on interests and hobbies. Loads of people just do nothing. So if you are happy being called a nerd good own it. But you're nor wrong or bad! What does he do with himself that's so interesting?!

You must have had a wonderfully pampered life so far, if you think calling someone a nerd is being 'an absolute shit.'

@FlamedToACrisp I think it would depend how it was said and what was said alongside it etc. If I've read the OP rightly, her 'D' H was quite a bit of an arsehole about it.

"Grandma Turismo" is a brilliant autocorrect.

He's a dick. You do you. If you like The Sims, he should support you (as long as it's not taking over your entire life to an unhealthy level, which it isn't, and even if it was he should show concern, not ridicule you). I agree with PP - why did he send pictures to everyone if he's so deeply embarrassed? He sounds like a bully.

My DP just rolls his eyes when he sees I'm addicted to a new game (When I like a game, I play it as much as possible for a month or so, then drop it and pretty much never come back - things like Stardew Valley, or The Witcher 3, or whatever)..

In fact, he sometimes sees games he thinks I'd like and encourages me to try them, despite not really playing computer games himself (although he does watch twitch a bit)

I am banned from mentioning that I play D&D with some old friends sometimes (although not a serious ban, as in he would be angry, he just finds it embarrassing :D)

I can't imagine he'll be the joke of his workplace for it, unless it's a very unpleasant workplace.. a bit of ribbing, especially if he sucks at the games your good at, but otherwise, it's just a hobby, like baking or cycling.

@bridgetreilly I'd assumed that was deliberate.

A hobby is a hobby, whether it's 'cool' or not.

If he's that embarrassed why is he telling/showing everyone?
He's being a dick

Abusive sexist prick

Firstly- The Sims 4 is probably one of the least "nerdy" games that you could play.

Secondly, your DH is being a twat.

whenever anyone calls me a nerd i say "that's not an insult" and carry on doing whatever i like.

It is of absolutely no consequence to you what his friends think of you. (I think you sound great)

I find it really strange that your "D"H took pics of what you do as a hobby and sent them to his mates. Like he has to gang up against you and have them behind him? Obviously I don't know anymore than you have said but I'd seriously consider whether I wanted to continue with him. There are many more gamer geeks out there that may treasure more than he does!

...if he was embarrassed by it then he wouldnt have sent links to his family and friends.

It sounds like he wants YOU to be embarrassed by it.

Op do you know much about NPD? Because your husband sounds like a big old narcissist. Trying to shame you and stop.you doing something that makes you happy. Is he really a good person to you ar other times?

Ps: the sims are awesome :)

That's really horrible.

My dh plays 40k and has had a few comments about it, it seems to be hilarious if you like 'geeky' pastimes

DS plays Pokémon competitively so it's something both me and dh have picked up too.

I love the Sims. I have a town of replicas of our family houses with my Sims made to look like my family. Also play WoW and have done since 2005. I met my dh through it. Geeks unite! Your DH is just jealous he isn't as cool as you op!

As a side note it is funny that he tried to embarass you by telling his mate you play computer games and his mate responded by referrencing another computer game he played with you. It definately looks like your partners the odd one out here. I also suspect actually this might be about you having hobbies/a life outside of him. I would bet that any hobby you choose, that was giving you pleasure would be open to derision.

What a tosser. I wonder if he feels threatened because it turns out you play his mate online? Not that he should but some people are possessive about their partners socialising with their friends.

I am an enthusiastic Sims player, have been on and off for 20 years (eep) and my partner finds it baffling but would never seriously make fun of it or mock it for the benefit of others. Pre-children we loved spending whole weekends binge-playing games like Stardew Valley or Tropico. I really miss those times. I hope they'll come again!

He sounds awful. What you’re doing is normal, people have interests and pursue hobbies. He is the abnormal one, taunting you like a little bully when he’s supposed to be a grown up man.

I don't read this as embarrassed, otherwise why would he share it with others. I read it as joshing you, or secretly quite impressed by your nerddom. But you will know the tone.

You should make a sim version of your DH and torture him and then post it all over Instagram. The sims is great, he's mean, if he was a secure human being he wouldn't find it embarrassing. It's his problem not yours.

How horrible of your DH and his friend. I love the Sims and have done for about 20 years - the only reason I don't play it now it because I don't have a computer with a big enough brain to run it . Very excited to learn there are Sims instagram accounts; if you're willing to share yours, I'd be thrilled!

I always have 2-3 games going on. This morning I've been playing a 'Settlers' online game on my laptop, & have Pokemon Go running between Merge Dragons on my phone.

And I love Sim City, might have to go back to that. Have just loaded the original Sims for my 9 year old who was impressed with my vintage game collection.

Luckily DH is similar (got him into the Settlers game 2 years ago) so sometimes we prioritise games for a weekend.