DH says I’m an embarrassing nerd

[Hindsite]

I play the Sims. I have lately taken to building and have built a number of homes. I’m getting really into it and have renovated a whole town. I have created an instagram page for my Sims game and share all my builds on there as well as my stories. My next project is making an abandoned Wild West town like the ones we have come across in America. This will likely take a month or so and then once I’m done I’ll move families into it who will then renovate the town.

Last night DH came across my Instagram and went off on one saying I’m a complete giant nerd and he sent the pics to all his family and to his mate. His mate asked if him if I’ve stopped playing grandma turismo because he kept beaten me. DH didn’t know I was playing this car game online with his mate and is now saying I’m an embarrassment and I’ll be the joke of his work place.

Wtf. Is it really so bad to have interests that don’t affect anyone else even if I am a Middle Aged woman?

I’m not into gaming and don’t understand the interest in it at all.

However if my partner was into it and had a insta about it and things why would I care? People have interests and gaming is yours...why would someone be embarrassed about that?

Ffs you are all making me want to buy Sims 4 😁 I loved Sims 3 and had loads of expansions but like others found it a bit too addictive.

I do still think there is a difference in "speaking to people" online debating a subject, compared to creating a fake world.

Have you read most MN threads?

I play games. It's perfectly reasonable for you to have this interest.

@Girlyracer Each to their own, I don’t understand grown men who get violent over a ball being kicked into a net..

@Pasghetti Do it, it’s a marvel haha

@Lweji 🤣🤣🤣

Exactly.

I bought the sims again during lockdown

Your husband sounds a dick tbh

Nothing like video games to bring out the fun police in force.

Your husband is being an immature prick. We all play games online etc. If anyone is embarrassing it’s him. He’s the one over reacting acting like a cry baby.

I am a massive nerd, my husband is hugely proud of my nerdery and very niche expertise and obsessions, your OH is being a mean bullying arse. Not fair on wonderfully nerdy you.

I do still think there is a difference in "speaking to people" online debating a subject, compared to creating a fake world.

Online gaming allows people to talk whilst being in the "fake world." And no, it's not that different at all. Not least because half of what's on social media is completely fake too.
Does your problem with fake worlds extend to books, films and fanfiction? Don't know if you noticed but reality is kind of depressing at the moment, nothing wrong with a little escapism.

I do consider most gamers nerdy.

Right, and is being nerdy a bad thing?

I think I mean insular as in communicating with a screen rather than verbalising and facing another human being.

Oh the irony of you typing this sentence on mumsnet 😅 Oh and people do game together in real life you know, actually facing and communicating with another human being. The nintendo wii is great for that, loads of social games and easy for non-gamers to join in. Thanks to the nintendo wii I've got my mother interested in killing zombies in Resident Evil.

If it’s so embarrassing then why did he feel the need to spread it to everyone? And why is it ok for his friend but not for you?
I promise you, people will have more to say about the way he handled it than the fact that you are playing games!
I really think you need to put your foot down and let him know that you are not ok with this.
He comes across as a bully and it will only get worse if you allow him to get away with this.
You are doing no harm.

I am going to start playin sims. Sounds great. Ur DH has the problem not u.

Tell him to do one.... I used to play sims and call of duty plus lots of others. I dont now due to having children and not much time but I imagine one day I will get back into It.

I think you should make him a character in your sims world and then torture him.... no food... no toilet... haunted by ghosts

He’s a complete twat

@Hindsite I’m not a gamer but DH, DS & lots of friends are so I adore ‘geeks’ & I’m sorry but your husband sounds like he doesn’t deserve you! Your Insta is cool & you sound pretty cool to me too. I hope you’re not dissuaded from continuing to do exactly what makes you happy.

I play a game online called Lily’s garden and I really enjoy it once DC are in bed and all my jobs are done.

You keep on enjoying your game if you enjoy it. Sod your DH

I play Minecraft on PC, Lego Star Wars on the Wii and crazy taxi on my phone. Nothing wrong with playing games. Your DH is jealous I’ll bet!

I find comments about how online communication isn’t as good as face to face a bit confusing considering that especially in recent months a lot of people have ONLY been able to socialise virtually. Without all this technology and virtual talking working from home and homeschooling would’ve been a nightmare. It I wasn’t an online gamer my son wouldn’t have been able to use my headset and mic with talk to his teacher online for homeschooling. Being able to FaceTime and play video games with his friends has kept him in touch with kids his own age during the lockdown.

I’m not saying me and my kids spend all day every day playing video games by any means. I agree there should be limits but we don’t watch tv so video games are our version of tv screen time.

Well in 2020 I haven't been able to do much face to face communication by I've done lots of virtual animal crossing communication.

I also enjoy reading again I'm not sure why reading a booker prize winner is more laudable than creating my own virtual world.
Books are just virtual worlds built with words.
I don't particularly want to always be interacting with other people, I see no particular value in creating side hustles I don't need.
Until I started animal crossing I hadn't done any gaming for years but it is no more or less worthwhile than most other free time activities.

@DanceItOut good point. The vitriol towards gaming has always baffled me. Sure, people who are addicted to it cause issues, but that is the same with literally any and all addictions. The people who look down on my DH and I for "wasting" a couple of hours of our evening gaming are usually the same people who watch tv for hours on end every evening. I never watch tv because it's bloody boring. At least when I'm gaming I'm actually doing something creative and interacting with people instead of mindlessly vegging out in front of reality tv and reruns of old murder mystery series.

Sounds like you need to build a pool, put DH in and remove the ladder!

@GiGi18 and put a fence or wall around it just in case there’s a glitch

I thing the problem stems from the wife playing the game/s when she should clearly be the 1950's housewife attending to the family needs at the drop of a hat, always on hand ready to be the dependable one springing to action when a drink needs making or the kids need help with homework, etc.

A woman isn't supposed to be 'playing' on the computer, she is there for practical reasons only, and the man is the one that deserves downtime after a hard day at work. For decades it's always been accepted, expected and unquestioned the man gets to 'play' whether on the computer/console on various games, watching the footie, go golfing, paint balling etc.

It's a sad fact a lot of people still have the mindset of the woman not being allowed to have a hobby that isn't in some way 'contributing' or 'traditionally acceptable'. I personally play games on the XBox, it's a great way to unwind, is entertaining and you can still be talking to others either in the room or online. A lot of games require you to view cut scenes to know what to do next, which I find similar to watching a film, but with a lot more interaction, rather than only passively paying attention.

The Sims requires a lot of forethought and forward planning when building, which means you are engaging your brain, crack on and enjoy what you love!. Also ask him if he takes the mick out of his friend, or is it just you he has a problem with?.