Friend driving us up the walls.

[Brot64]

Read a somewhat similar post here last night but cannot find it, so cannot contribute or ask what needs asking.

I have been bombarded with messages, text and emails, from a friend of ours since 6am this morning. I always wake up at 5am so the issue is not the time, more the messages. It's all covid related, conspiracy based articles, PDF's anti vaccine re:covid, how our society is being hijacked, how the world is being reset, how wearing masks is causing ill health particularly dental, the list is endless, followed by numerous messages. He also knows my mother, who use to be a virologist but is now a neuropathologist though not here , and has bombarded her with numerous emails some in which he has stated that the work she did and does is a hoax particularly in relation to virology (she wrote numerous published articles and he seems to be very interested in).

As she has not been responding he asked me to forward and discuss a report with her, we didn't actually discuss it but to calm him (I know, terrible) I did say we have and it's all the same conspiracy view. I have been responding so might have fuelled this, however I have clearly stated that I am not interested in reading anymore of the articles.

DH suggests it's time to call quits on the friendship. We have been friends since university, and all was well until covid and his recent separation. I have very much enjoyed our friendship but now I dread hearing from him. We cannot seem to speak about anything else aside from this. Am I being insensitive here? If you wouldn’t end the friendship, what approach would you take considering that simply telling him, we have different views and I wouldn’t be reading anymore of these articles doesn’t seem to have any effect on him?

It’s very concerning how many people haven’t thought it obvious the guy is mentally unwell.

@timeisnotaline

It’s very concerning how many people haven’t thought it obvious the guy is mentally unwell.

Eh? There were 4 separate posts suggesting that on the very first page. Have you actually RTFT? And if we assume his is unwell, does that mean that the OP has to tolerate or indulge the friends behaviour?

@Smithecat2 well yes, 4 separate posts on page 1 alone, plus lots on other pages. There were also lots of posts where people didn’t seem to connect this to a breakdown /psychotic episode/ mental illness, and that’s a concern when it’s so prevalent. It’s understandable it wasn’t obvious to the op as she knows him and had him clearly labelled as NOT mentally ill from their long history. But all these other people? I made a stand alone statement on that. obviously the op has reacted suitably and no she doesn’t have to continue to support him, nor should she (& absolutely nor should his ex which a few people suggest). I didnt make any statement saying the op should be tolerating or indulging him or any similar approach.

Many people who haven't mentioned it may have thought it. Me included. But they've responded to how they would handle it, not what their thoughts on his mental state are.

I really feel for this poor man. All his behaviours are so like those of my brother and 2 friends who have are bipolar.

My DB's manic episodes have all started with adopting conspiracy theories and then taking them to a point where they are utterly obsessive about them. When a friend got obsessed with Stephen Hawking's book, and gradually started formulating theories that became more and more ridiculous, I knew he was becoming unwell.

When my ex and I went to see him one day, he told us that the security services were after him, because he had scientific proof that god doesn't exist, therefore there's no such thing as the divine right of kings and the queen has no right to be queen! He'd taken the doors off all the toilets and bathrooms, because they were going to assassinate him using tiny drones that come up through drains and sewers, and he'd glued tin foil to all the windows to deflect some sort of killer rays.

I really hope your friend gets the help he needs, and soon, OP. If it helps, I got the phone number for the emergency MH team for my friend, and they were brilliant. He wouldn't go into hospital, so they issued a section with a power of arrest and he was picked up by the police a few days later.

I also hope that all the people who've been upset by his behaviour will recognise that it wasn't his fault and forgive him. People who are that unwell aren't responsible for what they do and say when they're in crisis.

You've handled this really well, OP.

In the end, they issued a section with a power of arrest and the police picked him up when he was behaving strna

OP, I’m sorry this is happening to you.

I’ve found a small handful of people I know a little, acquaintences, who have taken on this mentality and gone completely ‘red pill’. The trend among them seems to be they are all what would be considered ‘unsuccessful’ by societal standards. Its something to blame for misfortune, luck or lack there of - or their own mistakes.

I think you can’t engage with them, there is absolutely no reasoning, evidencing or ‘agree to disagree’, I’ve removed them from my social media.

One person who I know a little better even made a comment about how nurses and doctors were conspiring in the ‘Covid fraud’ and that the people who write the death certificates were paid to lie (slightly darkly humourous given that I am related by marriage to the person who wrote these certificates in my county and the thought of him being paid off is laughable!)

@LuluBellaBlue

Just out of interest..... have you ever considered he might one day be proven correct?! How would you feel if that happens?

Psychotic, that's how that would feel.

ButtonMoonLoon
I think you may have your answer as to why he and his partner separated 🙁

This is really very worrying; I really do agree that he sounds like he's having a psychotic episode and you should report him to the police. Because he needs to be sectioned, as he's a danger to himself and others. It's the only way that he'll get the help he desperately needs.

I've seen this happen with my DB. Like my DSis and me, he's had underlying health issues because of the abusive childhood we went through, though his problems have always been more extreme. In his late twenties, he had a psychotic episode when he was prescribed Lariam, a powerful anti-malarial prophylactic. (We were on a week long family trip to The Gambia.)

There was a warning that my DM noted that it shouldn't be prescribed to someone with MH issues. She queried this with the GP but he didn't listen to her, saying that 'malaria kills'. Well, yes it can, but there were other prophylactics that could have been prescribed. Not so powerful, and they don't stop you from getting malaria at all (I had it on another trip), but you get a milder version of it.

Anyway, my DB ended up psychotic. For devout Christians, which we are, it becomes religious mania mostly. He saw a family of kittens and thought it was a sign from God about something. Then when we were back in the UK, he told my DSis that she shouldn't open a parcel because there was a bomb in it.

Thankfully, it was short-lived. He had to be sedated for the flight home, and then my DM was able to persuade him to accept help. He's still very mentally fragile, but he's never got that bad since.

The sad irony is that he wasn't even bitten by a mosquito in Africa, as there are hardly any on the coast and the hotel had fly screens. And he would have been better off having malaria anyway.

Anyway, there really is help for your friend, and it's mostly preferable for the sufferer to accept help voluntarily. But it doesn't sound as if your friend is likely to, so sadly you do need to alert the police, as he's clearly in a very agitated state. But other than that, I agree with PPs that you should after that block him on everything.

*LuluBellaBlue
Just out of interest..... have you ever considered he might one day be proven correct?!
How would you feel if that happens?*

That really isn't the issue. Having an opinion is perfectly valid. For example, my SIL told me that she thought my DH and I were wrong to have IVF because of the 'spare embryos' (ironically there were no embryos at all but that's another story).

I told her to back off, which she did and never said another word about it. Suppose she had proceeded to bombard us with messages telling us we would be murderers if there were spare embryos that were destroyed? That would have been harassment and we would have been concerned about her mental health.

Stating an opinion is fine, but pressing the point once you've been told to back off isn't fine. That's harassment.

Yes, I hear you and I’m totally wrong that I should of thought about that point and confirmed that doing so in that manner is not ok, no matter what the subject was about.

I think I just saw red, and this thread triggered me as I get fed up with the whole conspiracy theory bashing that goes on.

So sorry OP, whether he speaks the truth or not, his behaviour is shocking and not acceptable.

[quote Hermano]@LuluBellaBlue I've wondered exactly the same! I'm no conspiracy theorist, but it seems just maths that some of them are correct, or at least have some truth.

I do wonder what if these people are right and were the brainless sheep they say.

Then I get on with my calm rational evidence driven life of boring decisions.[/quote]
I don’t want to derail the thread but would love an open discussion about what if this was the truth kind of thing!!
Might start another thread....

Isn’t this the Qanon cult stuff, mainly in US but now filtering over here via Facebook and YouTube. . It is real cult stuff, with circular arguments. At first it seems laughable, but I read a detailed book about Jim Jones cult, ( origins of their suicide drink Koolaid) ; and so don’t underestimate the way this thing is growing even with formerly educated reasonable people. They also believe in recruiting/spreading the word as their duty. I know someone into this, we mainly talk Epstein case - but he doesn’t like hearing any ‘evidence’ which upsets the belief Trump will save the world from such people !! “ I wish her well” quote doesn’t go down well.