Friend driving us up the walls.

[Brot64]

Read a somewhat similar post here last night but cannot find it, so cannot contribute or ask what needs asking.

I have been bombarded with messages, text and emails, from a friend of ours since 6am this morning. I always wake up at 5am so the issue is not the time, more the messages. It's all covid related, conspiracy based articles, PDF's anti vaccine re:covid, how our society is being hijacked, how the world is being reset, how wearing masks is causing ill health particularly dental, the list is endless, followed by numerous messages. He also knows my mother, who use to be a virologist but is now a neuropathologist though not here , and has bombarded her with numerous emails some in which he has stated that the work she did and does is a hoax particularly in relation to virology (she wrote numerous published articles and he seems to be very interested in).

As she has not been responding he asked me to forward and discuss a report with her, we didn't actually discuss it but to calm him (I know, terrible) I did say we have and it's all the same conspiracy view. I have been responding so might have fuelled this, however I have clearly stated that I am not interested in reading anymore of the articles.

DH suggests it's time to call quits on the friendship. We have been friends since university, and all was well until covid and his recent separation. I have very much enjoyed our friendship but now I dread hearing from him. We cannot seem to speak about anything else aside from this. Am I being insensitive here? If you wouldn’t end the friendship, what approach would you take considering that simply telling him, we have different views and I wouldn’t be reading anymore of these articles doesn’t seem to have any effect on him?

Sadly I've had to ditch a friend of 35 years who decided to live in the US 6 months of the year and has gone from being a decent non rascist person to a Trump loving rascist, who posts endless crap about white supremacy on my facebook page along with a blackface avatar which he thinks is funny. I've had to block him off everything and our friendship is over. He knows my family is mixed race yet still does it.
I do not recognise the person he has become. I tried talking to him but he was having none of it.
All you can do if he is ignoring you OP is to tell him the friendship is over unless he stops sending this rubbish.

It's so concerning to read everyone's different experiences with unusual behaviour from friends and family particularly those that have displayed this behaviour since lockdown. I do understand that this is a very unusual time and everyone is struggling. Someone here recommended watching the Aussie guy that my friend is also apparently watching and I did. It's scary, even more scary that he has thousands of followers. Also watched him interviewed on 60 minutes and I really do respect everyone's opinion but the things that were said are so far-fetched and bizarre, it is difficult to understand how anyone could believe them.

I hope everyone affected gets help or at least questions these theories. I have had a much more peaceful day and have heard nothing from friend. He will remain blocked for now.

In regards to MN removing the thread, I have received a response and as far as they are concerned no guidelines have been breached and therefore the thread can remain.

Again many thanks for all the advice and generally responses. Just knowing that I could write some people even though strangers about it offered some form of comfort especially on the day the messages escalated.

@madcatladyforever, you've said "rascist", and i know its a typo so not having a go, but did you mean "racist" or "fascist? I suppose they're two cheeks of the same arse, but i always wonder when i see "rascist".

I think that this has actually been quite a useful thread in that other people may now realise that these behaviours may equate to a mental breakdown. You may have been able to help other people too. I hope you get your friend back some day.

@ArnoJambonsBike
I know that you didn't ask me and that I wouldn't know 100% if it was a typo, but rascist seems to be a play on the word racist. I've recently heard some people (mainly African Americans on YouTube videos) pronounce the word as 'rah-cist' in a jovial/funny way. In a 'If you can't laugh, you'll cry' kind of way.

It sounds to me that your friend may be experiencing some mental health issues. Is there a family member who could help him? I'd give him a firm warning that these conspiracy messages need to stop or you will have to block him.

@Annie1919, don't worry, op has already cancelled the cheque.

@unmarkedbythat 😂 I really wonder when people will finally learn to read an OP’s posts.

@JingsMahBucket

Never, is the answer to that.

There should be an option to block individual posters so we can avoid the habitual idiots.

I dont usually tske notice of usernames, but over the last few weeks, there is one name that crops up regularly responding to the first post, usually days and hundreds of messages later as though no-one else could possibly have thought of the blatantly obvious response they have talen 72 hours to come up with.

Totally obNOXious behaviour.

The rise of QAnon in the US is pretty terrifying as well, especially as they have political candidates. They're the people who believe Hilary Clinton and many others are involved in a child sex trafficking ring and there's a deep state plot to take Donald Trump down. Google Pizzagate for details.

@JingsMahBucket love the username! My gran was a big fan of the Broons/Oor Wullie and she used to buy us the annuals.

He's clearly unwell. Can you contact a member of his family and share your concerns??

RTFT!!

@Palma1

Indeed. If only one of the 400 posts over the last three days had been from someone as clever as you. How do you think of such genius ideas beyond us mere mortals.

It could go like this:

OP: "Friends mum, you know your son who is staying with you after a suspected breakdown? Well, I think he might have had breakdown and I thought you should know, despite him being under your care for the last 48 hours. Thanks"

This article is interesting and explains how easy it is to be sucked in by this stuff.

foreignpolicy.com/2020/08/12/qanon-deprogramming-cult-congress-trump-conspiracy-theory-reddit/

Just out of interest..... have you ever considered he might one day be proven correct?!
How would you feel if that happens?

I'm sorry but I would end the friendship, if not permanently then at least for a break.
Tell him he's having a negative impact on your mental health, ask him to stop and if he doesn't then that's your answer ✂️

It sounds more like a breakdown or mental health episode than a friendship issue. Are you in a position to trigger some professional support for your friend? Do they have a history of mh issues? Tricky. Def think mum should just block the contact.

I'm now reading the thread...
🙈

@LuluBellaBlue

Just out of interest..... have you ever considered he might one day be proven correct?! How would you feel if that happens?

It's not just what's being written, it's the aggressive, intrusive, intimidating manner in which he's communicating. If someone sent my family and me hundreds of angry messages stating that today was Friday, for example, I wouldn't be happy.

@LuluBellaBlue Even in the unlikely event that he was correct, the harassment of bombarding with emails and messages etc is inappropriate. It's not about the message but about the approach. He was told to stop. He contacted on various platforms to get round being blocked. What on earth prompts you to think it would ever be okay to act like that?

@LuluBellaBlue I've wondered exactly the same! I'm no conspiracy theorist, but it seems just maths that some of them are correct, or at least have some truth.

I do wonder what if these people are right and were the brainless sheep they say.

Then I get on with my calm rational evidence driven life of boring decisions.

@Hermano you're missing the point spectacularly. Even if whatever he is saying is right, it's the wrong way of going about it. It's harassment whatever the message.

@Ullupullu I'm not missing any point. I'm making a conversation point in reply to Lulu because it is an interesting aside, completely tangential to the thread. I've thought it many times. Just as I've had all sorts of other idle thoughts while doing the washing up or painting a wall.

I did not mention anything about this specific situation and whether OP's friend was reasonable or not. On that point I agree with the vast majority of PP that OP's friend acted really badly and left her with no real choice other than the course of action she took.

And follow up to the above, I mean this in a lighthearted 'imagine if the matrix really was real, lol' type way rather than as a serious question.

I spent a couple of months doing an online language exchange with a French woman recently. She was convinced that Bill Gates is developing a Covid vaccine as a way of exterminating the human species. She was also a believer in those herbel "remedies" that include a tiny drop of something to a million drops of water, and claim to cure everything. Worryingly, she's a secondary school teacher.