To tell my friend I can't give her a lift?

[thevengabus]

I'm going out for a meal with my friend tomorrow.
It's about a 25 min drive away.
My friend doesn't drive.
I have to drive past her house but with this covid situation,it's probably not a good idea to give her a lift.
Aibu to tell her I can't give her a lift ?
And that she will need to get the bus or taxi

Oh ffs sit her in the back will probably be the same distance as sitting across a table from her!

Give her a lift! YABU. You can always leave the windows open if it makes you feel better, and wear masks in the car.

If you follow distancing rules, and especially if for example there was someone between you and your friend sitting along the same side of the dinner table, it is entirely possible you wouldn't transmit it between you.

But how could that possibly work if it's only two of you meeting up? And who on earth, when having a meal with two other people, solemnly sits on the same side of the table as the other two? What if the person conveniently forming the barrier also isn't part of your household? And, if they are part of your household, surely you're just putting them at risk and therefore indirectly yourself?

And cars are confined spaces.

Cars have windows. You can open them and everything.

@Pobblebonk

If you follow distancing rules, and especially if for example there was someone between you and your friend sitting along the same side of the dinner table, it is entirely possible you wouldn't transmit it between you.

But how could that possibly work if it's only two of you meeting up? And who on earth, when having a meal with two other people, solemnly sits on the same side of the table as the other two? What if the person conveniently forming the barrier also isn't part of your household? And, if they are part of your household, surely you're just putting them at risk and therefore indirectly yourself?

And cars are confined spaces.

Cars have windows. You can open them and everything.

Other people can explain it but you have to understand it.

Opening windows reduces (doesn't eliminate) risk of airborne transmission, but not the two other transmission routes.

If you cba with all this that's fine, but you're incorrect about some things.

I already dealt with the number of people upthread - I had thought they were a group.

But as I said - the car is a separate event therefore increases risk.

Other people can explain it but you have to understand it.

But it's inexplicable on the basis of what you have posted. If you can't explain it either I take it you agree that it just doesn't work?

I get it that there is nothing certain about reducing the risk of transmission in a car, but it's perfectly possible for a passenger to sit a metre away from the driver (in some cars even more), and the car can be driven with all the windows open and all occupants wearing masks. Can you really claim that that is more risky than sitting a couple of feet away from someone who is directly facing you and talking to you and who isn't wearing a mask?

@Pobblebonk

Other people can explain it but you have to understand it.

But it's inexplicable on the basis of what you have posted. If you can't explain it either I take it you agree that it just doesn't work?

I get it that there is nothing certain about reducing the risk of transmission in a car, but it's perfectly possible for a passenger to sit a metre away from the driver (in some cars even more), and the car can be driven with all the windows open and all occupants wearing masks. Can you really claim that that is more risky than sitting a couple of feet away from someone who is directly facing you and talking to you and who isn't wearing a mask?

I have explained why car + restaurant is more risky than just restaurant, and that imo just the car would potentially be more risky than just the restaurant.

I have put quite a lot of explanation above if you read the thread.

Time and time again I read 'we are already doing x, so doing y as well makes no difference'. This is an incorrect way of looking at covid risks.

If x = 1, and y = 1, then clearly doing both = 2. 2 is a bigger number than 1. Your risk is bigger the more time and separate times you are with someone. Your risk is bigger the smaller the space in which you spend that time. The risk is bigger the more shared objects you both touch.

You said OP would be safer in a restaurant if they sit three in a row with someone in between them. Quite apart from the fact that there is no suggestion that there is a third person involved in this meeting surely either the buffer person is with OP and may just as easily be infected and then pass it on to OP; or they're with the friend, in which case they're just as likely to infect OP.

You're not addressing the reality that, to talk to her friend, OP is going to be sitting opposite her. Even if they are diagonally opposite, the strong likelihood is that she will still be under a metre away and neither of them will be wearing masks. Conversely, in a car they won't be facing each other, they can be wearing masks, and they are likely to be at least a metre separate, if not more, with four windows wide open.

Sure, the longer OP is with the friend the more the chance of catching an infection IF the friend is infected. But the logic of that is that they shouldn't meet up at all. Taking the position that you will accept a higher risk of infection sitting opposite an unmasked person but not a much lower risk of infection by giving them a lift is illogical.

@labyrinthloafer

Don’t be so silly.

2 people sitting side by side in a car wearing face masks with the windows open is somehow more risky that sitting facing each other in a restaurant with no face masks?

[quote RandyLionandDirtyDog]@labyrinthloafer

Don’t be so silly.

2 people sitting side by side in a car wearing face masks with the windows open is somehow more risky that sitting facing each other in a restaurant with no face masks?[/quote]
It's like no one reads what you type! I said potentially re car/restaurant. It depends on factors, yes. I consider it a confined space so would not do it even with masks unless unavoidable.

@Pobblebonk - let's agree to leave it and hopefully both you and I will dodge the covid in our own ways.

In general, I can only repeat what I said before - time and time again I read 'we are already doing x, so doing y as well makes no difference'. This is an incorrect way of looking at covid risks.

The restaurant plus the car is two risks, and two is always a bigger number than one.

But the logic of that is that they shouldn't meet up at all.

No, I just wouldn't do the car.

I'm having a lift from my friend on Sunday, we're both wearing masks. I feel there's more chance of catching Covid on public transport than giving a lift. Be kind

You aren't actually allowed to give her a lift. She will have to make her own way. She should know this.

Give a lift and you both wear masks as 2m distance cannot be maintained. Dinner would be mega awkward if you don’t. BTW masks are taken off when eating and you’ll probably be sitting close together then so that would make refusing a lift a bit silly

So you'll go out for a meal with her but you won't give her a lift when you are driving past her house???

This isn't a Covid thing, this is you being a shitty friend thing.

I actually feel really sorry for your friend right now.

If you were any sort of friend this would not remotely be an issue, you would both wear masks and she could sit in the back.

YATA in this instance.

But you’re going to sit and eat together? So if either of you have the virus then you will infect each other anyway - so give her a lift.

You’re being petty and small.

Make sure you’re both following safety measures, i. e. masks, etc.

If you can’t manage that, you’re a crappy friend.

If you’re going for a meal with her then ywbvu not to offer her a lift. Surely the risk factor is similar.

Yabu. Wear masks and wind the windows down.

@Fudgemonkeys

I'm having a lift from my friend on Sunday, we're both wearing masks. I feel there's more chance of catching Covid on public transport than giving a lift. Be kind

Not necessarily. Buses etc. have maximum numbers to allow for social distancing. You can't social distance in a private car - there's just not enough room.

You are eating together in a restaurant, one or both of you (her) can wear a mask in the back of the car...

Banapop2020

Totally agree, open the windows don't look at each other and don't talk if you are that worried. But if you are how is the meal going to work, separate tables?

If some people had more brains they would be dangerous

I would feel more comfortable giving her a lift than having her sit next to me after taking a bus tbh.

Op, I had a similar dilemma the other day, although I was not going to eat inside a restaurant with my friend. I decided I did not think it was a good idea to give her a lift, and it is still recommended to avoid sharing a car.

YABU