Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell my friend I can't give her a lift?

212 replies

thevengabus · 09/08/2020 16:33

I'm going out for a meal with my friend tomorrow.
It's about a 25 min drive away.
My friend doesn't drive.
I have to drive past her house but with this covid situation,it's probably not a good idea to give her a lift.
Aibu to tell her I can't give her a lift ?
And that she will need to get the bus or taxi

OP posts:
Looneytune253 · 09/08/2020 17:33

Dh was talking the other day about how sad he was he couldn't give his (previously shielding) colleague a lift home from work like he used to. I figured surely it's safer to give a work colleague a lift if you've been working with them all day than colleague getting a taxi or bus home which is much riskier. If we're honest surely if DH was infected colleague would have already caught it at work anyway.

Surely it's the same with your friend. If you and her are gonna be sitting at the same table for a leisurely meal then surely you giving her a lift is less risky than public transport or a taxi

Wilko312 · 09/08/2020 17:33

[quote katy1213]@coffecak3 Covid kills brain cells and impedes independent thought.[/quote]
Good response 👍

mosquitofeast · 09/08/2020 17:33

@minnieok

Far higher risk her taking a bus or taxi with random driver. If you are that worried, don't go out for dinner (I assume you are sharing a table sitting less than a metre from each other). Give her a lift!
Not really, taxis have screens, and most buses have a maximum capacity which allows social distancing
labyrinthloafer · 09/08/2020 17:38

I wouldn't sit

BananaPop2020 · 09/08/2020 17:38

@mosquitofeast get over yourself and read the entire thread to see how many people feel the same way.

@Wilko312 I don’t call Covid BS. I referred to some of the related behaviour as BS. There is a difference.

PuppyMonkey · 09/08/2020 17:38

I missed that you're having dinner with her

How could you miss that bit? Its literally the first line and the whole point of the thread?! Grin

imnotimportant · 09/08/2020 17:39

A car doesn't allow for social distancing , if you are uncomfortable with it don't give a lift , or cancel the meal until you feel more comfortable with the situation, it's about how YOU feel not what a Load of randoms on the Internet tell you what to do

bigglewiggle · 09/08/2020 17:39

A taxi has a screen for a reason.

The taxi I went in didn't have a screen?

labyrinthloafer · 09/08/2020 17:40

@Looneytune253

Dh was talking the other day about how sad he was he couldn't give his (previously shielding) colleague a lift home from work like he used to. I figured surely it's safer to give a work colleague a lift if you've been working with them all day than colleague getting a taxi or bus home which is much riskier. If we're honest surely if DH was infected colleague would have already caught it at work anyway.

Surely it's the same with your friend. If you and her are gonna be sitting at the same table for a leisurely meal then surely you giving her a lift is less risky than public transport or a taxi

No, you can't properly distance in a car, your ADDING to your risk.

If the colleague has it, you are less likely to catch it from them if you spend one day with them than two.

Everyone is basing transmission solely on the other person having it.

Car sharing a v bad idea.

RichardMarxisinnocent · 09/08/2020 17:41

So the guidance is more onerous regarding this than going out for a meal.
I would say the guidelines for going out for a meal with someone from a different household are fairly onerous given that you're supposed to still social distance from them, so you can't just sit face to face at the usual really small table for 2. Most people don't seem to be worrying about the social distancing though.

Clymene · 09/08/2020 17:41

@mosquitofeast - she is already having lunch with her friend. By her friend taking the bus, her friend is potentially exposing herself to many more germs than she would be if she shared a car with the OP.

If her friend sits in the back and has the windows open, it's way safer than getting a bus

jessstan2 · 09/08/2020 17:45

Give her a lift for goodness sakes. Why ever not? If you are worried about the confined space of a car you can both wear masks while you are in it. I presume at the restaurant there will be spaces between each person.

Clymene · 09/08/2020 17:45

It's one meter, not two.

SusieOwl4 · 09/08/2020 17:47

Yes you can give her a lift but both wear masks and use hand sanitizer and keep windows open if you can.

I have to take a colleague into work and that’s what we do .

Clymene · 09/08/2020 17:49

And people are sitting at small tables, less than 1 meter away from one another.

Anyone who thinks that restaurants and pubs are policing whether people on the same table are social distancing is mad. They are responsible for ensuring that different tables are socially distanced.

If you want to cuddle your whole table full of friends then that's your call. The restaurant isn't going to stop you

mosquitofeast · 09/08/2020 17:50

The taxi I went in didn't have a screen?

Then ask for a taxi with a screen

labyrinthloafer · 09/08/2020 17:52

[quote Clymene]@mosquitofeast - she is already having lunch with her friend. By her friend taking the bus, her friend is potentially exposing herself to many more germs than she would be if she shared a car with the OP.

If her friend sits in the back and has the windows open, it's way safer than getting a bus [/quote]
I don't agree, my view is:

Of the three ways covid spreads, the car share is lower risk for picking up virus on the surfaces for the passenger, but becomes higher risk for the car driver (unless they thoroughly clean the high touch points)

in terms of airborne spread, due to much lower air volume the car share is worse than the bus for the passenger and driver

And in terms of aerosol, due to distancing on the bus but not in the car, the bus is better than car share for passenger and driver.

So do the lift if you want, but it isn't lower risk.

RichardMarxisinnocent · 09/08/2020 17:52

@Clymene

It's one meter, not two.
It isn't 1 metre, it's 1 metre plus, so 1 metre with mitigations such as face masks, sitting side by side not face to face, screens, and I think ventilation and being outside are also mitigations. If there are no mitigations then it is still 2 metres.
RuthW · 09/08/2020 17:52

If you are risking going out for a meal with her she might as well go in your car.

KarmaStar · 09/08/2020 17:55

Has the world gone crazy?did I really just read that?😁

labyrinthloafer · 09/08/2020 17:56

So do the lift if you want, but it isn't lower risk.

If that sounded snippy that was bad typing, I just meant I understand people make their own decisions, but this would be more honestly stated as 'i know this is higher risk but I'm doing it anyway'.

labyrinthloafer · 09/08/2020 17:58

@RichardMarxisinnocent

Yes, I think the 'plus' has rather got lost in the 1m+ guidance

p.s. my brother came to hazard when I was just seven... total flashback due to your name Grin

labyrinthloafer · 09/08/2020 17:59

Argh mother, not brother!

Whenwillthisbeover · 09/08/2020 18:00

Give her a lift, sit her in the back and both wear masks.

Nanny0gg · 09/08/2020 18:03

You're supposed to sit next to each other, either in the car or at the table.

Not behind

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.