To the woman who shouted “you’re too thin!!” to me on my run today...

[Waytoomuch82]

You made me feel utterly shit.

Yes I’m underweight. Mr body shape is awful (very thin arms and legs but a large belly relative to my size (26/27 inch, which for someone 17 BMI is out of proportion).

I hate my body. I feel sub conscious.

Hence out for very early run in a wood. St John’s wood (you were alone, one dog, red top). I saw you and smiled, you had a kind face, but as I ran pass you muttered something. I turned and said “sorry?” And you said “gosh, you’re too thin. You must stop running”.

Immediately deflated. Immediately feel crap.

It would not have occurred to me for a second to have said to you “you are podgy, you should be running not walking”, why did you feel you could say this to me.

Stop shouting out random criticism and “advice” to people.

I often have people comment about my legs which are large but full of muscle. I am self conscious about them but I love running and cycing so just grit my teeth when someone says something. It is just rude. Sometimes it really hurts other times I brush it off, but I would never make such a comment to someone. Don't listen to them, keep enjoying what you do.

It is not good to run when underweight because of the risk of heart attack. The person didn’t say anything to you until you stopped and challenged them for saying something to themselves.

Your stomach may be sticking out due to malnutrition. No amount of running will fix that op.

See a doctor, your bmi isn’t healthy.

Your opening post goes way beyond a woman saying something to you.

Well, technically, you are too thin, but why random strangers think it's ok to comment on someone else's body is beyond me.

l also highly doubt it comes from a true place of concern from a stranger.

Not so sure about that. I have a very close friend who struggled badly with anorexia, though she's been much better for years now. It was a devastating condition for her and it was very difficult too watching her struggle and trying to help her. She ended up in hospital for a while but that was the turning point for her, fortunately.
I remember, at the time, seeing another clearly anorexic young women when out and about. The probability was that she too was in the grip of an eating disorder. I know I looked at her with concern. I didn't say anything, but...maybe I should have? Is it really right to ignore people who are clearly struggling because we want to be polite? I don't know.
Of course, I don't know anything about your situation OP, but I wish you well. Take care of yourself.

If you haven't got anything nice to say - don't say anything at all.

I'm sorry OP.

Sounds like she did it out of concern. Try and think of it coming from a good place. Next time just smile and say, I love running it's good excerise.

Concern my arse! She clearly just didnt think the OP looked good and wanted to have a vaguely socially acceptable (except it really isnt) pop at her.

That poor dog has to live with her!

And yes, I think she probably was jealous...
Unlikely. Why would anyone be jealous of someone who looks underweight?
I've always been thin and would much prefer to have a bit more padding to cover my bony wrists and prominent clavicles but that's my body shape and I'm stuck with it.

who says we are obliged to spread love everywhere we go? Sometimes we should spread truth.

And most of the time we should mind our own fucking business.

Absolutely she should not have said anything. Totally unacceptable, even if people have any kind of bodily difference- no reason for others to look, stare, comment, anything! Ever!

But it also gave you an opportunity to post your very low body weight statistics on here, and that's a different issue (you could have posted without those). You know you have an issue there- if you want to post about that, lots of people have been there, I hope you are ok.

I think this called for the classic "I am sure you didn't mean to be so rude!"

Ignore her OP and concentrate on keeping yourself healthy.

Wish there was a 'not sure' button on YANBU threads. I can see why this was hurtful & I've had a few unsolicited comments on my appearance when running too. But you have no way of knowing what might be going on in this woman's life, so why not give her the benefit of the doubt? I'm autistic so am used to my bluntness sometimes causing offense, but I hope people can understand that I don't say tactless things to deliberately cause upset.

It really worries me the number of people who piled onto the thread calling this woman 'rancid cunt', 'cow', 'bitch', 'dickhead', etc. Aren't those kind of comments judgemental and rude too? Is it fine to say something nasty about someone if you think they've done it first, whatever might be behind their comments?

My mum gets this all the time (she doesn't run but she is thin and always has been). "Friends" are continually telling her she's too thin. One day she finally snapped and said to one of them why is it acceptable for you to say I am too thin but not for me to say you are too fat. The "friend" didn't say anything again.

Perhaps she thought she was doing you a favour, but really she should shut up. Ignore her OP. You are doing this for your fitness levels.

A few years ago I lost a large amount of weight due to mental illness which put me at a BMI quite a bit lower than the OPs. I looked terrible and I knew it. A comment like this from a complete stranger (not from a relative, friend etc.), even if it was out of concern, would not have made me go and "sort myself out", to be honest, at the time it would have probably pushed me over the edge, I felt that shit about myself. Seriously, comments like these do. not. help.

@GilbertMarkham

or speaking from concern?

You don't speak out of concern to someone who's a complete stranger running past you in a park .... No-one normal would think that appropriate.

This ^^

Did this even happen? Is this just a roundabout way of shaming jealous, fat people, calling them cunts etc.

If it did happen then YANBU.

However, there was a woman at my gym who was clearly anorexic, absolutely shockingly emaciated. Like in pictures you see if famine victims.

She used to go to the gym and run for at least an hour on a treadmill and then do endless laps of front craw in the pool.

I'm surprised staff didnt say anything. Obvs I didnt say anything to her myself, would've been rude.

She's a rancid cunt..

What vile language. That's a disgusting way to speak.

Stop using fat people as part of examples for your upset at that idiots awful behaviour, abuse that far people receive is just as bad and probably more frequent and with greater vitriol, no one should be doing this to anybody else full stop it isn't right when aimed at slim people nor is it OK when aimed at fat people. You don't have to play off against fat people though.

Has anybodies eating disorder been cured by a comment by a 'helpful' stranger ?

@Malbecblooms you know that poster is allowed to speak how she likes, right?