To the woman who shouted “you’re too thin!!” to me on my run today...

[Waytoomuch82]

You made me feel utterly shit.

Yes I’m underweight. Mr body shape is awful (very thin arms and legs but a large belly relative to my size (26/27 inch, which for someone 17 BMI is out of proportion).

I hate my body. I feel sub conscious.

Hence out for very early run in a wood. St John’s wood (you were alone, one dog, red top). I saw you and smiled, you had a kind face, but as I ran pass you muttered something. I turned and said “sorry?” And you said “gosh, you’re too thin. You must stop running”.

Immediately deflated. Immediately feel crap.

It would not have occurred to me for a second to have said to you “you are podgy, you should be running not walking”, why did you feel you could say this to me.

Stop shouting out random criticism and “advice” to people.

In the op, you say the woman had a kind face. She didn't shout anything at you. She muttered something which you asked her to repeat. I agree what she did was rude but perhaps she was genuinely shocked and concerned. The other day an incredibly thin woman walked past me...I'm not talking slim, she genuinely looked like she'd stepped out of a concentration camp, I sort of almost gasped when I saw her but checked myself and didn't. That's not thin shaming

@formerbabe I know what you mean. Most people with experience can see the difference between skinny and anorexic and seeing an anorexic is hard. Your instinct is to want to help them but of course you can't - it just has to run its course.

Too thin. Too fat.
We can't do anything fucking right, can we?
Someone yelled at me for being fat when I was on my bike. Like we're to hide away in shame!?!?
Judgy people. Fuck em

@Giganticshark anorexia is a serious psychiatric disorder with the highest mortality rate of any. It's not the same thing as oppression of women.

Sorry people don't ever say things like this to strangers out of true concern

It is not concern it is faux concern to make you feel better about yourself/superior in some way

If you think it's okay to make comments like this to strangers who are minding their own business out of 'concern' then you are a busybody.

To those assuming I am suffering from anorexia because if my low BMI

Do you assume those with higher than normal BMI suffering from binge eating disorder?

I might think it but I would never ever say it.

Yes very rude to say it. I can't lie though, I was out for a run & went passed an incredibly thin women & I was a bit shocked.

my reaction was like @formerbabes one.

She was probably a lazy cow who was jealous. I often find people are secretly jealous of runners because they're too unfit to do it.
She should have kept her trap shut

My first thought would be to shout something back, but no ignore her you're better than that.

@Waytoomuch82

To those assuming I am suffering from anorexia because if my low BMI

Do you assume those with higher than normal BMI suffering from binge eating disorder?

Absolutely, OP! I work in ED and what many people don't understand is that an ED can't be identified purely by appearances. Some people have very disordered thinking about food/body image but are a "normal" weight. Everyone's metabolism is different and BMI isn't really a very useful tool to gauge someone's ideal weight. What is overweight or underweight for one person of 5'5" may be completely normal for another, depending on bone structure, muscle mass, metabolism, etc.

I do think that it's a pity that you aren't happy with the way your body looks and perhaps it's worth thinking about how you can either work on the things you dislike or be less preoccupied with them.

She was probably a lazy cow who was jealous. I often find people are secretly jealous of runners because they're too unfit to do it

Yes, you are correct the woman with the kind face who blurted something out was infact a cow. Not just your regular cow but one who harbours a jealousy of all runners, due to her own laziness. That'll be it alright.

@Inappropriatefemale Damn right. Good for you. It really is the only way with these types.

@TheClaws

There is a woman where I live who walks and runs around the neighbourhood often. She is not just thin, but skeletal. She has long legs, but they have no visible muscle or shape to them - they look little more than bone. I would never dream of saying anything to her though, as much as I am concerned for her.

Same here. Young woman in our village, she’s anorexic, it’s not a secret. She’s a walking skeleton and runs the same route every morning. However, she’s documenting her work to recovery on social media and people are very supportive. Nobody would dream of shouting at her as she pounds the pavement.

Thanks @gypsywater, it is the only way, it’s all very well saying “aw you’re better than that” but I felt much better after saying it.

your fat

Your fat what?

To those assuming I am suffering from anorexia because if my low BMI

I'm not assuming anything but the fact you say you're underweight combined with hating your body whilst doing fat burning cardio in the form of running sounds a bit worrying to me.

What a weirdo. At least you're not like her. How rude. You could be really skinny and, like me, have enormously high cholesterol. I'm not skinny any more but I had high cholesterol when I was. As long as you're not under eating you're fine and even if you were, she has no right to comment.

@Inappropriatefemale

A woman that I worked with once said to me “you’ve got no tits” and I just answered back, “and your jealous because your fat and your tits are large and most likely now, after 3 kids, saggy as fuck”, well she went bright red but I put her in her place, only I am allowed to talk about having small boobs, not her! You’ve got to get these bitches told.

Well aren't you a treat.

You're lucky she didn't complain to HR.

@Lockheart As if! If she can say that a colleague has NO TITS she can take the retort.

"Yes I’m underweight. Mr body shape is awful (very thin arms and legs but a large belly relative to my size (26/27 inch, which for someone 17 BMI is out of proportion)."

To me, a 26/27 inch belly definitely isn't large. It would make you a size 6 - 8 or XS/S in most shops.

The woman was rude to say it to you though.

I wish more people would give me unsolicited comments.
I've always been fairly witty and now I'm invisibly middle-aged I love running my mouth off.
I would have been fired up and gone for it all guns blazing if someone had commented on my body while I was out running!

Whatever her motivation I seriously doubt she would have said it to a man she thought might be underweight, therefore she is an arse!

[quote gypsywater]@Lockheart As if! If she can say that a colleague has NO TITS she can take the retort.[/quote]
She should have gone to HR. Or told her colleague it was inappropriate.

What she should not have done was launch her own vile and misogynistic tirade back.

*To those assuming I am suffering from anorexia because if my low BMI

Do you assume those with higher than normal BMI suffering from binge eating disorder?*

Without being unkind some of the comments you have made on other threads recently about food/weight/being slim as well as comments about exercise and having a "large belly" that is 26" would make me consider whether you had an ED.
But i still think the person was inappropriate to remark (whether shouting or muttering) publicly while you were out running.